


With All My Love

by jessica988



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Forbidden Love, Some angst, also elsa is NOT nice in this so, and maaaaaybe a side of smut if we're lucky, but i think this will be good for now, im probs will add more to these tags as I get more sketched out for this, we got that good fluff fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 48,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24131140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessica988/pseuds/jessica988
Summary: Anna wasn't sure what she expected when she left the note in the Oak Tree but falling in love with her mysterious pen pal, only known as K, was not one of them.
Relationships: Anna & Kristoff (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 180
Kudos: 160





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the beginning..

_Hello!_

_You may be thinking, a letter in an Oak Tree? How peculiar! Yes, peculiar indeed as I myself am not sure why I decided to write this. Maybe out of pure boredom, I’ve been sitting here for ages now. It’s my favorite spot in all of Arendelle. Or, perhaps it was written as a distraction…_

_You see, I lost my parents a few days ago. It’s been hard for my sister and me, though my sister won’t say or show it. When I have tried to talk to her, I’m pushed away for other “important matters” she calls them._

_Maybe I am writing this more to be heard, to know maybe my feelings will be read by someone out there._

_Oh goodness, that took a sad turn. I don’t think that’s what you were expecting when you found this letter! This is supposed to be a happy place, or so I deem it to be. Under this tree, no sad thoughts are allowed I say. Only happy ones!_

_So, let’s make this a little fun then: What do you do? Do you live in Arendelle or are you visiting? How is your day going?_

_Reply if you can! Or, don’t I suppose, it’s all up to you! I can only urge you through this letter which isn’t very persuasive. Anyways, if you respond or not, I hope you at least got a smile from the surprise of finding this letter!_

_With all my love,_

_A_

Anna bites her lip as she re-reads the letter again, a ramble of sorts that just came out onto the paper. She folds it, standing from her spot beneath the tree and turns to face it’s trunk.

She’d come to this spot for years, had found it by chance when she was younger. Bored and curious, as she was a lot growing up within the castle, she’d taken a chance and scaled the castle wall to explore the forest that grew just beyond.

It had taken little time, a trip or two on a few exposed tree roots, and she’d found it. 

A large oak tree, just up on a hill. It was an old one, large enough that Anna had to lean her head all the way back to just peak the top. Besides the peace that was here, nothing but the sounds of the birds chirping and the occasional breeze brushing through the forest, the view is what made Anna visit more often than none. 

From the base, she could see the castle and some of the village below. If she went a few branches higher, though not too high as she learned the hard way resulting in a broken wrist, she could see all of Arendelle from the port to the village’s end. For hours she’d sit and watch the villagers below, going about their daily lives and she’d envied them. She dreamed of being among them, exploring the town and meeting everyone within. To escape the castle with its empty rooms and enclosing walls. 

There were a few times she’d even dreamed of such a life, only to awaken with a lump in her throat from the realization it wasn’t real.

The hole had been there for as long as she could remember. It assisted in her attempts to climb the grand tree, to protect her books as rain would start to fall, and had hidden the flower crowns she’d created a few times before. Now, as she places the letter within, it holds something else with just as much importance. 

With all that was happening, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to come back to her spot for a while. Not that she wouldn’t try, of course, after the meeting tomorrow she was going to need another break.

With Elsa being thrown into preparing to take the crown in three years time, her presence was needed now in the counsel meetings. She never spoke, only there to be made aware of the situation at hand. 

It was boring to say the least, more than once she had to fight back her yawn as the counsel had gone on and on over topics Anna knew nothing about. So Anna smiled to herself, knowing as soon as tomorrow's meeting was done, she was for sure returning to her spot to escape it all. 

To have a moment to feel free, even if it would be for only a few hours. 

As she made her way back down the hill, taking her time to enjoy the peaceful bliss of the forest for a few moments more, she couldn’t see the figure coming from the other side of the hill.

One that would also sit under the branches of the tree, taking a momentary break in their stressful day. Munching on an apple, enjoying the view till they paused when they heard a rustle of paper as the breeze came through. 

They’d spy the note, curiously eyeing it as they opened and read it. They’d smile, finishing the apple as they read the cursive writing scrawled so delicately along the page. 

There would be a moment of hesitation, themself unsure if they should respond or not. 

But as Anna would find, much to her surprise, they had. 

**A,**

**I guess, hello to you too.**

**I hope things are better now, between you and your sister and I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost my parents too, long ago when I was little. Which I guess is lucky? I never had to deal with the pain of losing them. I can barely remember them. But I know it must hurt, and I’m sorry.**

**To answer your questions: my day is going well for now. Normal day for me, just taking a moment to enjoy the view and an apple. I do live in Arendelle. I work here, have been for a while now. I work with ice. Cutting it and selling it too. Not the most exciting job you were wanting maybe, but that’s it.**

**Funny enough, I’m not sure why I’m replying to your note. I guess it’s because it had actually brought a surprise smile to my face and I couldn’t let your letter go without a response. Owed you that much for crashing your favorite spot. It is a nice place, maybe I’ll come here more often.**

**I hope this letter makes you smile!**

**All the best,**

**K**

And that was how it began.

_K,_

_Oh hello there! Oh my goodness, to say I’m surprised to find a response would be a lie. I’m so happy to find someone has written back!_

_Ice?! Wow, must be an interesting job. You must travel up to the mountains a lot for that. I’m jealous, I have wished to travel to the mountains! I’ve only heard stories and seen some paintings, but from what I know it is beautiful._

_I’m sorry about your parents...losing them is never a lucky thing. I hope you’re managing well for yourself without them. Thank you for your kindness about mine, it means alot._

_Your job sounds amazing! Kind of sounds like you have your own business!!_

_Another sort of questions for you: how old are you? Do you have any pets? Have you been anywhere? If so, what was your favorite?_

_I myself am 15, no pets sadly (though if you count the ducklings in the garden I’d say I have 5) and sadly, I haven’t been anywhere other than Arendelle. I’d love to travel though, to see what the world holds._

_Hope to hear from you soon, mysterious K._

_With all my love,_

_A_

~.~

**A,**

**I’m glad I could make your day!**

**I guess you could say that. I mostly harvest by myself but most of the time I help other harvesters too. Need as much work as I can get.**

**The mountains are beautiful! Hopefully one day you can see them yourself. I’d offer to take you Hope someone can take you up there someday, I’m sure you’d love it. It’s something I think everyone should see at least once in their life.**

**I am 18. I don’t really have a pet. Just a reindeer who helps with halling the ice and pulling my sled. I’d say those ducklings count if my reindeer does. Other than the mountains and Arendelle, I have not been much else. So, I guess my favorite is my cabin up on the mountain side.**

**Hope your days have been better,**

**K**

~.~

_K,_

_Things have improved a little. Still boring and my sister has yet to talk to me about everything but, I’m getting better so I guess that’s a positive._

_I hope so too. Maybe someday I can see them, but I don’t think it will be anytime soon unfortunately._

_A REINDEER?! I’ve heard of people in the mountains herding them and using them for their job, but never met someone who actually had one! That’s amazing!! You must tell me how you came to have him!_

_And your cabin too! That sounds so lovely!_

_...I hope I am not being intrusive with these letters. I don’t have many friends, well any really, and it’s nice to have someone to write too._

_If you ever want to stop, you can! I won’t be upset but don’t want to hold you to doing this if you become bored with me or no longer want to write._

_Anyways, another question, what is your favorite color? Mines pink and green, I can’t choose between the two!_

_With all my love,_

_A_

~.~

**A,**

**I found him, actually. Guess his herd or his mother abandoned him, and I found him in time. He’s been with me ever since. He can be a pain sometimes but, he’s nice I guess.**

**My cabin is small. Nothing big or anything, just enough to get by. It’s nice enough I guess.**

**Does intrusive mean intruding? Sorry. My vocabulary is not...the best. But if so, you’re not. I promise.**

**I will keep writing if you will. I don’t have many friends either. It’s nice to have someone too. I don’t think I will become bored, so you don’t need to worry about that.**

**I’ll be your friend. If you want to be.**

**As for my favorite color, I guess green? Never really thought about it before till now. Can’t really say brown either, I have a feeling that wouldn’t count.**

**Best,**

**K**

~.~

_K,_

_Awww, that’s so sweet!_

_Sounds lovely. Small and quaint is perfect._

_Oh, I’m sorry. Yes intrusive means intruding, or invading one's space to be specific._

_I promise to keep writing as long as you reply._

_And...I want you to be my friend :)_

_You’d be right, brown does not at all count! Green is though, so guess we have something in common then!! What about favorite food? Mines chocolate!!_

_With all my love,_

_A_


	2. three years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a normal day..

Much like everyday, Anna ate her breakfast in silence. 

It used to drive her mad. The deafening silence that seemed to drag on and on, only the slight scraping of utensils against plates & the little sips of morning tea, the only noise to break the lull. 

It’s sad to say she’s used to it by now. I time once meant for mingling and chatting is now mostly a reminder to Anna on how distant her and Elsa had become.

She bites into her toast, taking a glance towards her sister. Elsa sits regal, as she always has, at the other end of the table. She sips her tea as she looks over the documents laid before her, today's paper placed off to the side. 

It’s routine now for Elsa to use every meal time as a moment to review what she can. Whether it be letters from dignitaries, potential deals with other kingdoms, notes from council meetings; the papers were stacked by her plate in a small, neat pile. 

There had been a few times when Anna had tried to speak, tried to engage with her older sister but they were in vain.

~.~

**Try to ask her what she has planned for the day, how she’s feeling maybe? Couldn’t hurt to try. She can’t just ignore you like that.**

_I do, well I did. A few times, but it’s the same as always._

_She just sipped her tea and nodded. I asked her what she had planned for the day and she just...nodded at me. I tried again but she shushed me and said “I have a lot of things to catch up on Anna, you’re distracting me”._

_I don’t even think she heard me at all._

**Well, at least she spoke. That’s a start!**

_I guess._

~.~

Finishing her breakfast, Anna stands. Her lessons weren’t for another hour or so, more than enough time to head to the kitchens as she did most mornings. With a smile at the thought, she reaches across the table to snag an apple for later and turns to leave.

As she reaches the large wooden door, she pauses, looking back to see if Elsa had even moved from her spot. If she’d even noticed her younger sister had gotten up to depart.

With a sigh, Anna realizes her sister hasn’t even so much as flinched. She pushes the hurt down as she leaves, as she has done so many times before.

~.~

“Here for your second breakfast already, my lady?”

Anna giggles as she enters the kitchen, smiling in kind at Gerda, “Not yet, but perhaps in an hour or so.”

~.~

**Is there anyone at all you’re close with? There has to be someone in your household.**

_Well, there is Gerda. She assists where she can; kitchens, cleaning, you name it. She’s always been kind to me since I was little. Though I think I bring her to her wits end sometimes._

**From the stories you’ve told, I couldn’t imagine why.**

_That is very rude of you….but you may be right._

~.~

Gerda playfully rolls her eyes, picking up her rolling pin to point it at her, “Not sure if I should prepare anything for you seeing as you snuck the last of the chocolates, again.”

Anna feigns hurt, placing her hand over her heart, “Gerda, I would never.”

“Yes, as you have said many times now.” Gerda sighs, going back to rolling out the dough, “But it’s not the rats stealing those boxes.”

“You have no faith in me Gerda.” Anna teased, eyeing the bowl of what seemed to be some sort of jam on the table. 

“You make it hard to have faith my--AH, NO!” Gerda cries, smacking Anna’s hand away from the bowl before she can sneak a lick.

Anna pouts, only to smile as Gerda snags a spoon, scoops a bit and hands it over to her. It’s strawberry jam, Anna’s favorite and she hums in delight at the taste. 

“Now that’s all you get till they’re ready.” Gerda said, snatching the spoon away, “Don’t need you eating up all my jam.”

While Gerda is turned away, Anna sneaks a finger into the bowl and swipes more jam before she can see. 

“I hope your hands are clean at least.” 

Anna squeaks in surprise, taking off to the back door before Gerda can come for her. She’s so distracted that as she bolts out the door and down the stairs, she slams head first into something large and solid. 

“Well, good morning Princess.”

Anna rolls her eyes, stepping back as she rubs her head, “I hate it when you call me that.”

“Why? It’s your title isn't it?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I like being called by it.”

“Just being formal.”

“And since when have you ever been formal Kristoff?”

Kristoff chuckles as she turns back to his sled, beginning to untie the ice, “With you? Never.”

“My point exactly.” Anna teases, taking her seat besides the stairs. She watches him intently, biting into her apple. 

She’s known Kristoff for a few years now, and he had become a steady friend during these tough times. He started delivering ice to the castle every other day, and Anna had ran into him by chance. 

Literally.

Much like this morning, she had swiped something from the kitchen. Running to escape Gerda’s tyraid, she’d bounded down the stairs, only to slam directly into Kristoff. He’d been holding a block of ice and their collision had sent the block flying to the ground, shattering into tiny pieces. 

He’d been mad, glaring while she stood and repeated over and over how sorry she was. He didn’t care, he had exclaimed, that was his meal ticket she’d just managed to smash. He ignored her the rest of the delivery, brushing past her as she sat on the side of the steps. Feeling guilty, she’d snuck a bag of food into his sled when he wasn’t looking as an apology. 

The next time he had visited, he had smiled at her, thanking her for the goods.

From then on, she’d sit idly beside the stairs or give Sven a few scratches behind his ear (and sneak some carrots much to Kristoff’s protests) while he did his delivery.

~.~

**Is that all though? Seems quite lonely.**

_I mean, we get some visitors here and there that I’ll chat with. Some people bring goods for the house and what not, and I’ll talk with them but that’s it._

_...it is very lonely._

**I’m sorry.**

_Don’t apologize, at least I have you :)_

~.~

“Where did you go this time?”

Kristoff grunts as he lifts a block from the sled, “Just on the other side of the North Mountain.”

“Isf tfhat a flongf ftrip?” Anna asks, mouth full of apple.

“Can’t hear you with your mouth full Princess.”

Anna swallows, watching Kristoff come up the stairs, “Is that a long trip?”

She saw him shrug ever so, “Not really. A day trip if anything. Sven gets us back pretty quickly.”

Anna turns to the reindeer, who raises his head ever so as if in pride. “You’re the best Sven.” She calls with a smile. The reindeer looks at her then, and Anna giggles as he shook his head at somewhat a thanks. 

“Yeah, don’t hype him up too much.” Kristoff says, coming back down the stairs, “He’s still a great pain in the ass.”

“So mean to him, honestly.” Anna says. She moves then, heading down the stairs to stand beside Sven. “You’re a good boy Sven, don’t let him say otherwise.” Anna says, feeding him the rest of her apple. 

“You act like I treat him horribly.”

“I never said anything of the sort.” Anna looks back in time to see him roll his eyes as he picks up another block. 

“I just don’t baby him, like you.”

“I don’t baby him. I just show him love and appreciation, unlike someone.”

He ignores her then, heading into the kitchen once more. Anna huffs a laugh, turning back to Sven, “He’s such a stinker.”

She could swear the reindeer nods in agreement. 

“You need to work on your whispering.” Kristoff calls, coming back out.

“I wasn’t whispering! If anything, you need to work on your niceness.” 

“I’m nice enough.”

“Says who?”

“Me, and that’s all the approval I need.”

Anna rolls her eyes, leaning gently back against Sven as she crosses her arms, “So full of yourself, honestly. No wonder you're so big, you're filled with your own ego.”

Kristoff pauses, hands around another block, but only for a second as he moves before Anna can really take notice. “You make me sound like an ass.”

“Well…” Anna teases, seeing him eye her as he turns with the block of ice in hand. She laughs then at the annoyed look on his face, “You’re not an ass, Kristoff or I wouldn’t come see you every time you visit.”

“Oh, if that’s the case, let me start being one now then.”

He laughs as he goes back up the stairs, Anna scoffing at him as he goes.

~.~

_I’d really do nothing all day if not for my lessons. Even then, I hardly do anything in them as it is. I don’t recall anything the tutor told me and they know it too. I get berated for it all the time._

**That’s great you get to have that though. I know nothing about anything.**

_Not true! You know about harvesting and mountain climbing and mountains and how a business works._

_I can tell you the history of the last war, like that is even helpful._

**I don’t even know when the last war was so you have me beat there at least. I’ll say that’s a good thing.**

_I suppose, but it’s nothing very helpful._

~.~

Dinner was in a few hours, which meant she had most of the afternoon to herself now that her lessons were over.

With that, Anna ventures out to the castle grounds. She roams idly at first, walking slowly through the gardens, letting her hands brush across the tops of the blooming flowers around her. 

Her true destination is a bit farther off, the one corner of the castle not in view of any windows or guards just in her sight. 

She looks back slowly, to not raise suspicion if anyone was watching her. 

No one was, no one ever was. 

She moves quickly then, coming to the corner and wastes no time beginning the climb up the corner wall. The climb has become second nature to her, she hasn’t second guessed a step in years. 

For a brief moment, she sits on top of the wall, looking out onto the castle grounds. It’s a pretty site, but it’s not the one she longs for. Then she turns herself away from the castle, and pushes herself off the wall. She lands with a soft thud. 

The birds seem to chirp louder here, seemingly welcoming her back to their home. Anna smiles as she begins the familiar walk, making sure to walk slow enough to enjoy the peace around her as she always did.

~.~

_There is just something about it, it’s the only place I feel...happy most days. It’s so peaceful, just the noise of the birds chirping, the breeze blowing the leaves of the trees. Sometimes there are deer too! I saw one just the other day on my way up here._

_For once I just, I feel at peace, all my worries forgotten back home while I’m here. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s the truth._

**No, you’re not crazy. I feel it too. In the mountains, at my cabin, it’s my escape from everything. It’s an odd sense of peace. Well, not odd, it’s comforting. Just an overwhelming feel of comfort, like you’re covered in a fur blanket.**

~.~

There was a part of her that wants to sprint to the tree, knowing that a response awaits her there. It has been two days since her letter was taken, her last one had contained some slips of poems inside.

K had been curious after she had written a line from one of her recent reads into one of her letters. Wanting to know some of her favorite poems that she knew, he’d asked her to send some to him. 

She’d been self conscious when she’d placed the envelope in the tree. She worried that she’d gone a bit overboard, providing pages upon pages of poems she loved and adored. So many in fact, the envelope struggled to contain the bits of parchment inside and she had to tie a piece of twine around it to keep it closed. 

She worried for nothing though as when she’d returned the next day, the whole thing was gone. As expected really.

It has been 3 years, and K never once failed to reply to her letters. It only took 2 of those years for Anna to fall completely and deeply in love with him.

The realization had scared her more than relieved her. To be in love with someone she’d never met nor knew their true name, but it was real and true. Over hundreds if not thousands of letters, discussing their fears, encouraging each other, comforting them when needed and, sometimes, venting their anger and frustrations, proved that it was real. 

He’d been there more than anyone else had been these last few years, more than her own blood, and yet she had no idea who he was. 

He was just K, but that was enough for Anna and more than enough for her to fall for him.

~.~

_I must tell you something, and please be truthful with me. It will seem crazy and I must know that you will not judge me for how I feel._

**I would never do that and you know it. But I promise all the same to not judge your feelings. Is everything ok? ******

_I must confess something I’ve been holding back for a long time, trying to make sense of but finally realized what it was I was feeling. I know now that, though I have never met you and don’t even know your name…._

_I love you._

******I am so sorry to have delayed my response for so long. I did not mean to leave you waiting, I was called away for a harvesting trip that lasted longer than expected. Two days turned into a full week. A story for another time.** ** **

******To answer your letter:** ** **

******I have a confession as well. I have also found myself in love with someone I can not give a face to. The only thing I know are the color of your eyes, a blue that I wish to lose myself in.** ** **

******A, though I also do not know your name, I have also found myself completely, and helplessly, in love with you. I love you too, with all I have.** ** **

********

~.~

Anna could just see the large Oak peaking through the forest. Nerves and excitement getting the best of her, she bites her lip, gathers her skirt, and sprints the rest of the way.

Her excited laugh seemed to echo around her as she came up to the tree, heard by no one but the creatures within the forest. 

She doesn’t hesitate to stick her hand into the hole, laughing once more when she felt the familiar feel of parchment between her fingers. 

Her smile is so wide, her cheeks burn as she looks at the letter in her hand. A single “A” scratched in his handwriting on top of the envelope. 

These letters had become a staple in her dull life, so had K more importantly. There had been a few times she’d thought of hiding in the forest, to wait and see who K could be.

~.~

**Why don’t you?**

_Honestly?...I’m scared. I don’t want to ruin such a beautiful, great thing by ruining the mystery behind it._

**Do you think you’ll ever want to meet someday? No pressure at all but, I would like to meet the person I’ve written for over two years now.**

_I want to, someday, when I work up the nerve. I just don’t want you to be disappointed._

**Why would I be disappointed?**

_That I don’t turn out to be the girl you imagined in your head. That I’m...I’m not who you were expecting and regret it ever happening._

**The only person I expect is A, and from the years of letters we’ve shared, I doubt anything could make me disappointed or want to regret meeting you. Ever.**

_Are you sure? You’re not saying that just to be sweet._

**I promise you, when we finally meet, I will not be at all disappointed. There is no way in hell I’d regret this. The moment I meet you, I will hug you tightly, never letting go. If anything, I’m nervous. I also don’t want you to be disappointed in who I may be.**

_If you promise, then I promise too. The day we meet will be a moment I cherish forever._

_I love you._

**I love you too.**

~.~

Her hands shake as she opens the letter, smiling at the familiar handwriting gracing along the parchment.

Anna sits against the tree trunk, pulling her knees up to her chest. With a sigh, now comfortable in her normal spot, she begins to read:

**A,**

**Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you had many favorites.**

**They were really pretty, and simple too which kind of surprised me. I always expected poems to be this intricate, wordy thing that were hard to get but not the ones you sent. No wonder you love these.**

**They were good to read during my last trip. Helped pass the time more quickly.**

**Meant to tell you during my last letter, word in the village is that Sarah, the one who runs the dress shop, was spotted chatting with George late into the evening. He didn’t leave her shop till the sun was completely down.**

**Everyone says chatting but, between you and me, they weren’t just chatting. He was in there for ages apparently. Good for them really. They deserve some happiness.**

**I hope your lessons went well today. Don’t let your french tutor get to you. I have yet to meet someone with perfect french and I work in the village itself. I’m sure you’re doing just fine.**

**Hope I’m not being too forward, but as I read the poems, I imagined you reading them aloud. It was a comfort, even if I have never heard your voice before.**

**You mentioned meeting soon...I want to too. No pressure on when, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want but, I would like to finally meet you. To give you the hug I’ve been wanting to give you for a long time, hold you in my arms for even just a moment.**

**I think, if you are ready to meet, then so am I. Just say when, I’ll be there.**

**With all my love,**

**K**

Anna reads and rereads the letter again, taking in every word he wrote. 

She clutches it to her chest as she looks out onto the fjord below. It’s crazy, she thinks, how someone she’s never met has impacted her so greatly. Not crazy, no, a wonder in and of itself. 

A surprise blessing that she was lucky to have. 

Soon, she thinks, as she watches the sunset, she will finally have a name and face to the letters

She wonders if she will know him, if she will recognize him as someone she’s seen by happenstance in passing or a complete stranger she’s never met. There is a small chance she’ll know him as she has hardly ever ventured outside of the castle, so she settles on the idea of the latter. 

Which, in hindsight, suits her just fine. Rather it be someone completely new. 

Still, as she makes her way back to the castle, the lanterns slowly being lit throughout the village, a small bubble of fear sits deep in her chest. 

He doesn’t know her title. He knows everything else, down to the color of her room, but Anna has yet to share that one tiny detail. She never mentioned what she did, where she lived, or her family's name. He just seemed to assume it was some nice, comfortable family in the town. 

She wonders, then, if he really will respond as he had promised so long ago. With open arms, a tight hug full of love and comfort he’d been wanting to share with her for years now. Or would he deny her, turn and flee the moment he realized who she is. 

Though K has promised, on many occasions, that it won’t happen she still fears it will. He doesn’t know, won’t know till they meet her true identity and she knows it’s unfair to spring such an important detail on him in such a manner but she can’t bear to write in a letter “you must know, I’m the princess of Arendelle, second to the throne.”

Even in her own head it sounds utterly ridiculous. 

It’s time though, she thinks at dinner, twirling her spoon in her soup as she sits alone at the table tonight. Three years have passed and she is surprised she’s held back this long. If not for the fear, it would’ve happened long ago. 

She almost thinks of telling him no, of just breaking it all together and not replying. Leaving him in the dark, but that thought makes her heart hurt at the idea of him somewhere wondering why. Thinking, wondering what he had done wrong for her to go silent and she can’t do that to him. 

She owes him this, princess or not, he must know who he has shared years of letters with. Who he has spilled his heart and soul to, and her as well.

Anna decides then, as she nestles deep into her covers, pulling the letter out from her drawer to reread in the firelight, that she will meet him. Despite the fear, the guilt, the unknown of it all, she will do it. She will finally put a face and a name to her K, her love, the one person in her world that gets her. 

_Soon_ , she thinks, as she drifts off to sleep as she holds his letter close to her chest, _very soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> def not going to keep with the update every day or every other but, knocked this out yesterday so, here ya go!
> 
> also, writing their letters were so fun and I wanted to do more so hopefully their little bits from their past letters came across ok here. not sure how long this style will go but, yeah.
> 
> some peaceful, everyday stuff...for now :)


	3. the arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna learns some news..

Anna doesn’t notice how jittery Elsa is the next morning. 

How her hands shake ever so as she reads the papers before her, how she only managed to get through one document the entirety of Anna’s meal. The fact her plate still lays full, completely untouched.

What Anna does notice is that there seems to be a small bit of tension suspended in the air. She isn’t sure why or where it comes from, but it’s there. She can’t help but to look around the dining room, curious eyes roaming the space as though the answer will reveal itself. 

It doesn’t though. She almost goes to ask her sister what may be wrong, but as she finishes her tea she decides to ignore it. 

Not like she would get much of an answer anyways. 

She thinks instead of finding time to write her response to K’s letter sometime this afternoon. Anna also doesn’t notice that as she leaves, Elsa watches her exit with pained eyes.

~.~

She’s lounging in the library, flipping through one of her favorite books, when there is a knock at the door.

Sitting sideways in her favorite chair, she leans her head all the way back in surprise, watching upside down as the door opens to reveal Kai. 

Kai is Gerda’s husband and though he assists throughout the castle, he is more of Elsa’s right hand more than anything these days. Which means Anna rarely sees him.

He spies her in her seat, and she expects him to greet her with a small smile.

Instead, Kai looks almost reluctant.

“Princess,” Kai says, grabbing hold of his jacket as he speaks, “The Queen has requested your presence.”

Anna tilts her head to the side, completely confused. 

“My sister wishes to speak with me?” She questions.

“Yes, your highness.” Kai says with a nod, “If you could, she requests you come at once.”

Anna can’t help but hesitate, just taking a moment to look at Kai from her upside down view. In the three years Elsa has been in position, she has yet to call her to her office. 

Let alone speak to her at all in fact.

“Your highness, I must insist you make haste. It is an urgent matter.”

Anna’s eyes go wide. She wasn’t expecting that. Quickly, she moves to sit up, twisting out of the chair and makes her way to Kai.

Again, she is struck by the near grim look that rests on his face. There has only been a few times she’s seen him not smile at her. The few occurrences she’d manage to weasel into some sort of trouble, earning a ear full from not only him but Gerda as well.

Most notably, she’s seen that look three years before.

Anna can’t help the audible gulp as Kai turns to lead her to her sister’s office. 

~.~

Not much has changed within her Papa’s office now that Elsa has made it her own. The dark purple wallpaper still goes along the walls, several paintings of past rulers scattered throughout the room. The bookcase sits full from top to bottom with books, ones Anna has never been allowed to touch. The windows are slightly open, the sun barely peeking through the heavy curtains. 

The grand wooden desk in the middle of the room is the only thing to hint at any change. Anna distinctly remembers papers scattered everywhere, in some form of organization that only her Father knew. Organized chaos her mother had called it. 

Now, every parchment has a place. There are organized stacks set to one side of the desk, on the other side sits separate trays not nearly as full. Some of Father’s trinkets still line the desk, but Anna can tell a few have been moved. Which ones, she isn’t sure, but she distinctly remembers a photo being placed somewhere that doesn’t seem to be there anymore. 

Anna hesitates at the door, unsure of what to do as Elsa hasn’t even looked up from whatever it is she is diligently writing. 

Kai directs her to one of the chairs in front of the desk, and Anna takes it. 

She hears Kai leave, the close of the door and then it’s just them.

Anna can’t help but fidget slightly in the seat in nerves, the crackling of the fire behind her and scratch of quill on paper the only noise in the room. She hopes Elsa can’t hear the thundering of her heart as it beats in her chest. 

As she waits, she notices a pair of eyes watching her on the back wall. There, still hanging formally as it had for years, is the painting of Papa. 

He is holding the scepter and orb, crown sitting neatly on his head from when he was coronated as King. Anna bites her lip, the painting making her heart race even more. She realizes she only ever came in here when she was in trouble. Remembers feeling so small in the room with all the paintings seeming to glare at her for her mistakes. Silently chiding her from their places along the walls, her father’s portrait included. She looks back down to her sister wondering if that was the case now.

There is nothing she can think of that she has done...unless someone finally spotted her trips beyond the castle wall. She tries to think of an excuse, preparing mentally what she could say to define her actions when Elsa speaks, 

“Sorry,” Elsa murmurs, never looking up, “One moment.”

Anna looks at her sister, still leaned over a parchment and writing across the paper. She sees her every morning and every other dinner, but this is the closest she has been to her in a long time. 

So for this moment, trouble or not, she’s going to take her in. 

Elsa looks much the same; hair twisted up in a fancy updo away from her eyes, a long sleeved dark green dress, dawned with a few purple flowers along the chest with gold lining the seems. A simple crocus pin sits at the top of her dress, right at the colar. Dark green gloves, as always, match the dress with small spots of ink on some of the tips. 

Her brows are furrowed in concentration, but even from her seat Anna can see the dark circles under her sister’s eyes. Being Queen has taken a toll on Elsa in more ways than one it seems. 

Anna nearly jumps when Elsa lets out a deep sigh, sitting back to look over what she has written. Her brows are still furrowed as she does, placing the quill back in its place without looking. There is a low hum of what seems to be approval, and then Elsa lays the document down. 

Once again, she isn’t met with a smile as she had expected or hoped, but a slightly grim face. It’s Elsa’s eyes that make her squeeze her hands together tightly. 

Her eyes are filled with the slightest bit of remorse.

“Anna, there is something I need to inform you on.”

Anna can only nod in understanding, her sister’s voice soft yet firm. Every bit the queen she was raised to be. 

“A few weeks ago, we had a visitor from the Southern Isles. I’m sure your tutors have taught you where that is.” 

Anna nods, remembering the visit only just. There had been a moment of excitement when there was mention of a guest, of the potential of meeting someone new. However, the excitement was dashed as quickly as it came. She had been instructed to avoid her sister’s side of the castle as not to intrude on the discussions. It had been an extremely lonely week, more than usual, as she took every meal alone in her room. 

“As you know they sent one of their sons, Prince Richard, to assist in discussing more trade deals with us. Wanting to strengthen our relations as kingdoms.” Elsa leans back, places her hands on her lap, “A deal was successfully created. However, once returning, Prince Richard felt there was potential for a stronger...union.”

Union. The use of the word struck Anna as odd.

“Upon further conversations, we have come to an arrangement.” Elsa looks down at her hands then, the same look of grimace and remorse on her face.

“Arrangement?” Anna questions, heart pounding in her chest. 

“Yes,” Elsa says without looking up, “It has been decided that it would be in our kingdom’s best interest to strengthen our relations by marriage.”

The silence that overcomes the room is deafening. Anna can only stare at her sister, her mouth slightly agape at what she has heard. 

“Marriage?” She manages to whisper.

“Yes,” Elsa nods, clearing her throat and looking back up to her, “Marriage.”

“Who?..” Anna utters out.

“Prince Richard has discussed it with his father, King Augustus, and they’ve decided upon Prince Hans.” Elsa pauses, casting her eyes to her desk, “He is the youngest of the brothers, his lineage to the throne is unlikely though they think he would be a good match.”

This gives Anna pause. She looks away from Elsa, looking down as she thinks. “The youngest son?” Anna questions, “But, why would they want you to marry their youngest son? That doesn’t seem to make much sense.”

“Anna.” Elsa whispers. 

It’s then, as she looks back into her sister's eyes, that it hits her. 

No.

“I won’t be marrying him.”

No, please, no.

“You will.”

All the air in Anna’s lungs leaves at once as she just stares at her sister in complete disbelief. 

“It has all been set. Prince Hans shall arrive here in a few weeks time to assist in arranging the wedding. The ceremony will be two months from now. You’ll have time to know him before, we agreed it would be best to make sure you both were somewhat comfortable with each other...”

“When?”

“Pardon?”

“When did you arrange this?”

Elsa looks at her, tilts her head to the side ever so, “Does it matter?”

Anna wants to scream, wants to yell at the top of her lungs yes, but she can only nod. 

“We finalized the arrangement weeks ago, perhaps a month or so.”

Anna can’t sit anymore, she feels as though she may vomit, and stands. She turns slowly, going towards the fireplace, arms wrapped tightly around herself. 

Her sister is still talking, discussing more details but she can’t hear her. Her ears are ringing too loud to even comprehend what other plans her sister and prince what's-his-face have arranged for her.

Tears slowly form in her eyes as she stares into the flames.

It’s then that it hits her all at once.

Married. 

She is set to be married. Betrothed to a prince she’s never met nor heard of before, from some kingdom in a far off land. Without her say, without her feelings considered at all. She is just another chess piece on the board for them, a simple pawn in their dumb game. 

Once again she is pushed to the side, pushed away completely to another kingdom now to be completely out of everyone’s way. She’d have to leave Arendelle, leave all she knew behind in favor of this arrangement. 

Leave the fjord, the village and its people. No more stealing snacks from Gerda, sneaking past Kai to the kitchens. No more sneaking Sven carrots as she teases Kristoff on his visits. No more walks within the castle garden, no more enjoying the Northern Lights from the comfort of her bedroom window. 

No more sneaking over the castle wall, no more walks within the forest. 

No more oak tree.

No more letters.

No more K.

~.~

**Don’t let them push you around. You are just as strong as they are, stronger in fact.**

**Show them how strong you can be.**

~.~

“No.”

Anna doesn’t realize she has spoken till she hears her sister grow silent. There is a moment, then Elsa responds, “What?”

~.~

**Your voice is just as important as anyone else's. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.**

~.~

Anna closes her eyes, straightening herself up as she turns back to her sister. Elsa is still sitting, looking at her confused. “I said, no.”

There is another pause, until Elsa huffs a laugh. “What do you mean no?” 

“I mean just that.” Anna says, unfolding her arms as she lets them fall to her sides and form into fists. “No, I will not marry him.”

Elsa stands then, leaning on her desk, “It’s been set, deal is done.”

“Well, I say no, so the deal is off.”

“That’s not how it works, you get no say in this.”

“And why not?” Anna yells, surprising herself and her sister, Elsa jumping back at the tone, “It’s my life after all, why do I get no say in this?”

Elsa straightens herself to full height, the Queen now standing before Anna, “I make the decisions here, not you.” she says sternly.

“Yet you take no interest in asking my opinion in all this?”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m your sister!!” Anna exclaims, face red as she yells. She is shaking now. All the hurt, anger and frustration from the last three years has finally reached its peak, “Whether you like it or not, I am. This is my future and my life. You can’t just decide it for me Elsa!”

“I can and I have.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Life is not fair, Anna. You should know that by now.”

Anna bulks as though she’s been slapped. The tears fall then, not out of sadness but out of pure anger. How dare she, how dare she suggest such a thing. Like she even knew half the things she has been through.

~.~

**I know it doesn’t seem like it, but there is more to life than this pain. I promise you.**

**As my Ma says, ‘this pain will pass and when it does, you will be stronger.’**

**And you will A, I swear it.**

****~.~** **

**  
**  
She hesitates for only a moment, but she thinks of K, of his letters, of their potential meeting, “Life may not be fair, as you say, but I know I deserve love as much as anyone else, not some arranged betrothal to someone I’ve never met.”

“And what do you know about love, Anna?” Elsa says, jaw set, “You’ve lived in this castle your whole life just like me. How could you possibly know what love is?” 

“I used to, back when we were a family.” Anna says, glaring at her, “At least I thought I did, but it seems you’ve forgotten we are one, dear sister.” 

Elsa glares at her then, “I’m the Queen Anna, I can not go running around doing whatever I want all day like you can.” 

“Queen or not, you at least can talk to me.” Anna pleads, stepping towards her, “You could at least manage a conversation with your own sister during breakfast.” 

“I have lots to do Anna, I don’t have time--” 

“Papa had time.” 

Elsa freezes then, mouth agape. 

~.~

_It drives me mad, K. How she will sit, buried in her work, ignoring me as though I am not there. There is not a single excuse for it. My Father was in her same position and managed to balance it just fine. So, it’s completely possible and yet, she chooses to ignore me in favor of her duties. Pushing me aside like I’m nothing._

**Tell her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how you feel completely ignored, pushed to the side for no reason.**

**You need to tell her, get it off your chest so it doesn’t weigh on you anymore.**

~.~

Anna grits her teeth, stepping again towards her sister as she sees the Queenly mask begin to crack, “Papa always had time to come to dinner. If not dinner, then breakfast. He always tried to be there for us. He didn’t shut everyone else like you did. You choose to just push me aside like I’m nothing, ignore me as if I’m a servant not good enough to speak to when I’m your sister.”

She pauses then, trying to catch her breath as she wipes the tears from her cheeks. Anna struck a chord, for both of them really, but it was the truth. As she steadies herself, the anger dissipates and is replaced with pain and sadness.

“All I’ve ever wanted,” Anna says, barely above a whisper, “was my sister. Since the day they died, I just wanted you there. I wanted to talk to you, to be there with you, but you shut me out. You left me alone, I…” Anna pauses then, a sob escaping, “I buried them both on my own Elsa. I stood there alone, in front of everyone, while you stayed in the castle. I thought you just needed time, needed space to heal but, it’s been years. Years.” 

She risks looking at her then, sees that Elsa is still standing behind the desk clutching her hands to her chest. The mask has completely crumbled now as Elsa looks at her with nothing but sadness.

“Please,” Anna pleads, “I can’t live like this anymore. I just want my sister. Please, just this once.”

There is a moment, one tiny moment when Anna thinks maybe she has made it through to her. She catches what she thinks to be a tear before her sister looks to the floor.

Anna watches, clinging to that small sliver of hope, as she waits. Her nails are digging into her palm, her heart still pounding in her chest. 

She doesn’t care what happens from here, Elsa could never speak to her again for all she cared. All she wanted was this, was her bit of freedom. To have the chance to have her own life at her own choosing. More importantly, to have a chance with K. More than anything she will fight at a chance for that, for him, for them. 

She almost goes to speak, but then her sister sighs. 

Anna watches Elsa as she takes her seat, but instead of leaning forward onto the desk or even back against the chair, she sits straight up. She sits as she does at breakfast, completely regal and formal. As Elsa looks back at her, her tiny bit of hope evaporates. 

Once more, the Queen of Arendelle sits before her. 

“I have made my decision and it is final. You shall marry Prince Hans in two months time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is work to be done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muse bug has hit hella hard with this. gonna try to give it a few days after this update to not burn out but I already got the next 2 chapters done so lol we'll see how that goes 
> 
> anyways, um, hope you enjoyed?


	4. taking control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna grieves..

Hours could’ve passed, Anna isn’t sure nor does she care. 

All she knows is the sun has set, on the day and on her future. 

She hasn’t moved from her spot on the bed, curled up on her side as she stares at the wall. Gerda had come by at some point, announcing dinner, but still she didn’t move. Her stomach was in knots, the thought of food made her queasy. More than anything, she wouldn’t be able to sit across from her sister after this. To look at her after what she had done, what she had deemed a necessary deal. 

Her tears have dried now, eyes swollen and puffy from the time spent sobbing into her pillow. The pain still sits deep in her chest, rests heavy on her heart. 

Two months.

Two months and she would no longer be Anna of Arendelle. 

Her identity and life would be stripped away, taken in favor of bettering ties with another kingdom. It may seem to benefit everyone; Arendelle, the Southern Isles, Prince Hans, but not her.

No, this was from a benefit for Anna. This was a robbery.

Robbery of her life, her being, her own self. Everyone else’s opinions had been considered, down to the prince she was set to marry, but not hers. Oh no, her own thoughts were not worthy of such consideration. 

She squeezes her eyes close, no tears left to spare but the memory of “You get no say” makes her ache. 

Queen or not, Elsa had no right to make such an important decision without consulting her, without even asking if she wanted this. 

For months she’d let the decision sit, only giving Anna weeks to prepare for her betroval. Once again, Anna had been deemed unworthy and was last to know of what the future held for her now. 

Sick twist of fate to be born a princess, part of a royal family but be seen as hardly anything at all. Not even family, not even a sister.

Nothing more than a pawn, nothing more than a spare used to benefit the kingdom.  
But she was more than that, more than just a spare and a princess to be auctioned away.

She was Anna. 

Though no one seemed to care about that. No one ever did. Even when she was younger, her thoughts and feelings were never considered, always pushed away in favor of others instead. It was always what others deemed best and though her parents claimed to have her best interests at heart, they had a funny way of showing it.

Anna hated history, and had for many years now. She could not despise anything more than having to read over battles from hundreds years past, of political moves made to better kingdoms that no longer existed. What she did want to learn more about was gardening. Wanted to become familiar with the different types of flowers, how and where they grew. Even how to manage growing crops as well, a little dream to grow her own garden some day if not help Gerda in the castle’s own garden. 

She’d voiced her feelings once, only once, as her Father had huffed a laugh at her, giving a speech how she’d benefit more from knowing our past then such commoner things. 

Then there were the languages. French, Latin, all of them really, she never could grasp. They were interesting, sure, but Anna never could manage to master any. Struggling still to even hold a comprehensible conversation with her tutor. Cooking was more of what she wanted to master. The art of making bread, learn how to make tarts with her favorite jam. Create the perfect roast that she could be so ever proud of. 

There had been a time she’d tried to sit with Gerda, to learn with her while she could, but someone had found out about such things. Her parents had been sure to fill her day from beginning to end to make sure she wouldn’t have the time. 

She wanted to read more stories, hear the adventures that were being told across the land, not ones of great war battles. She wanted to ride her horse more for fun and less pointless council meetings that never included her. She wanted so many things, she wanted to be her own self. 

She wanted to be Anna, but she never could be. 

Never would be now. 

Her future was set to continue to be molded and bent into someone she wasn’t, to live as someone else entirely for everyone else’s benefit. Forever told what to do, directed on how and what way, without ever being asked “What is it you want?”. 

This wasn’t living. 

Not even close.

**~.~**

**What do you want?**

**~.~**

Anna opens her eyes slowly, once more staring blankly at the wall before her.

There had been one person, only one, to ever ask what she wanted.

Had asked her what she dreamed of, on her thoughts and ideas of everything. Took the time to know her, to question her on her favorite things. Asked why she loved sunflowers so much, where she watched the Northern Lights from, why she loved fairy tales so much. 

Only one person ever truly, really, wanted to hear who Anna was, what she wanted.

**~.~**

_I don’t know._

**You have so many opinions of chocolate, and yet, you can’t tell me what you want?**

_That’s different._

**How?**

_I get a say in that. I don’t get a say in what my future will hold. It’s complicated_

**Nothing complicated about it. It’s your future, you should hold as much say as anyone else.**

_If only it was that simple._

**It is. What is it you want for your future?**

**~.~**

Dread fills her as she glances to her writing desk, an unanswered letter waiting for her response.

K had never met her, didn’t even know her name, but took the time and letters to know her, to truly know who Anna was.  
He loved her. Not the molded princess she was for everyone else, but just her. Just Anna. 

Now he would never get to know Anna truly. Never get the chance to meet her, see who she was behind the words on the page. 

They’d never get the chance to meet. 

It was over, finished before it could even begin. 

She sits up then, her stomach twisting at the thought of having to respond to K. To tell him what is to become of her. 

How was she to tell him, the man she loved, that she was destined to another? One that she did not love, did not care for as much as him, and had to leave him behind completely. That this bond was to be broken, never to grow and blossom as Anna had dreamed it could. 

Still wrapped in her comforter, she slides off the bed, slowly making her way to her desk. 

The thought of asking to be friends, to continue to write even with her departure comes to mind but is shaken away. In her heart, Anna knows she could never be just friends with him, that her heart would be with him for the rest of her life. 

Writing to him, countries away, married to another man that wasn’t him would be painful. More so than breaking it all together. A gentle reminder with every letter of what they had, of what they could have been. 

Anna sits in her chair, hands shaking as she looks over the familiar handwriting. 

The Gods were cruel for this, for giving her such a glimmer of happiness to simply snatch it away. She was almost thankful for never seeing K’s face, for now she wouldn’t have to imagine the hurt that would come across it as he read her next letter. 

Her heart clenches at the thought of his pain, matching her own if not more so. The thought of him being completely devastated, hurt over these twisted turn of events brings a sob. 

Truly, she didn’t know what would have happened if they met. Only the idea of finally being able to see who K was, to be able to say to him in person how much he meant to her. Now though, now that chance to see where they could’ve gone is snatched away. 

Anna can’t leave him the dark, knows that what she is about to write will break them both, but it must be done. 

With shaky hands, she grabs her quill and blank parchment, looks down at the blank paper and can’t even think of where to start. The words do not seem to come.

It will be a long letter, she is sure of that. Apologizing over and over of how she regrets this more than anything, how she should have fought harder, been stronger as he told her she was. She thinks she has failed him now. 

She wonders if she should still offer to meet before it all falls apart. If they should have one final moment together face to face before life draws them in separate ways. It will hurt, she knows this, but they still owe it to each other to know who they both truly are. 

To know the face and name behind the years of letters shared. 

That goodbye would be cherished more than one final letter. 

Anna leans her head to her desk, another sob escaping her as she does so. Such a cruel twist of fate this has become. 

If only she’d met him sooner, if only she’d gotten the bravery to do it years before. Who knows where they would be now, if they would be together now formally, this betroval forgotten all together.

If only she had taken that chance. 

A thought comes to Anna then, an idea that seems far out of reach and yet within grasps. She sits up, quill still in hand, but she taps it upon her desk as she thinks.

Yes, yes there was a chance. A chance now that she could take to make amends for what has come. It would be risky, but as Anna thinks it over, the plan coming together so clearly, so vividly now, she sees the risks becoming lower and less so.

She’d need a few days, if that. Gather the essentials to assist in her plan, to make sure to douse any suspicions before she went through with it. Play the part just a bit longer.

Yes, Anna thinks, a small smile forming on her face, this could work. 

She looks back to the parchment, taking a breath. 

She’ll do it, she will risk it to be with him. To take that chance of being herself, of taking control of her life. The words come then, confident and sure, and she writes with haste:

__

_K,_

_I have been informed by my sister that I have been betrothed to another, against my own wishes and desires. I tried to be strong, to fight for myself as you have so often encouraged me to do but she would not budge. It has been decided and agreed upon that in two months time, I shall be married off to another._

_You asked me before what I wanted, what I saw for my future. This is not it. I want my own life, a house for myself to cook, to bake, to tend to a garden in the back filled with flowers and all the crops we could manage. Maybe some animals, chickens or ducks as well. I want to be myself and not a person everyone else wants me to be._

_More importantly, I see you. I see you in every aspect of my future and I want it. I want that future with you and nothing else. To be able to sit beside you up in the mountains, finally able to see the views you’ve talked so much about. To aid you in your business, make friends with the villagers you know, sit close by the fire in your cabin under a fur blanket._

_I want you._

_More than anything, I want to have the chance to have a life with you and I’m willing to risk so much to have that with you._

_I have a plan, one that would only take a few days to set and create but one that I am sure will get me away from here and into your arms._

_All I need, all I ask, is for you to say yes._

_It is a chance, a risk I know but I am willing to do it. I love you more than anything else, more than this life I have here._

She hesitates, then, Anna sitting back for only a moment to consider her next words carefully. 

_If you do not feel the same, if you do not wish to take this chance I would understand. If this letter is the end, if I never hear from you again, I will respect your decision. Just know that these three years, these letters have brought me more comfort than anything or anyone else. You, K, have been the only bright spot in my life and for that, I am forever grateful._

_You have made me better through just your comforting words._

_I will await your response before going further. I love you, more than anything, I love you with all my heart._

_With all my love,_

_A_

There is no time to reread the letter, so Anna quickly folds and stuffs the letter into the envelope. She seals, quickly scratches a K onto the front and for a moment just stares.

This was it.

She was giving him a chance, laying her heart on the line for him. Pulling the letter to her chance, she closes her eyes and hopes to God to get the response she yearns for. 

Anna makes quick work getting dressed. She chooses a dark purple day dress, grabbing her black cloak for good measure. She braids her hair, tucks them inside and draws the hood over her head. It is late in the evening now, no one set to be up this hour yet she still moves slowly down the halls to the kitchen. 

She pauses outside the door, listens for any sign of movement just on the other side. But it is still, all quiet in the night and Anna gently turns the knob and pushes the door open. 

It’s empty.

Quickly, she moves to the back door, opening and closing it as softly as she can.

The night air is cool and brisk, sending a chill up her spine. She looks around, checking to be sure that no one was out on the grounds, no guards patrolling the walls. 

Seeing nothing, she darts towards the familiar back corner. 

She slips over the wall, crickets replacing the birds from the day before to greet her as she moves into the forest. 

It’s haunting at first, the darkness within the forest is overwhelming but Anna knows the way. Could walk it blindfolded if needed so she makes it to the familiar Oak in no time. 

She comes up to the trunk, the hole within its base just at eye level and stops for a moment. 

Anna looks back to the letter gripped tightly in her hand, then back to the hole. It was high time she took control of her life, she thinks, starting with this. She furrows her brows as she steps forward and places the letter inside.


	5. morning after

It’s the soft, distant chirping of birds that brings Anna from her dreams. Her head aches, her nose stopped up from crying the night before. She cracks her puffy eyes enough to see the sun peeking just so from her curtains. She groans, burying her face into her pillow. 

Never a morning person, it was normal for her to not want to welcome the new day. After the events of yesterday, however, she wanted nothing more than to lie in bed all day if she could manage it. 

Sleep had evaded her last night. Not for lack of trying as she had collapsed into her bed once she’d returned from her late night journey. However, her thoughts had kept her awake, and had caused the tears to form once more. 

It was not just the argument with her sister that repeated over and over, Elsa’s voice harsh and cruel when she said her decision was final, that weighed on her. Nor the painful reminder that she was set to leave all she knew behind within a few months time. 

No, she found herself second guessing everything. The letter to K more than anything.

Had she been too forward, too rash in her decision? Had she not been convincing enough? What if he said no, what if K thought their love was not enough to fight for as she had believed?

What if he didn’t respond at all?

The anxious thoughts had caused a moment of panic for Anna, her heart racing and tears falling as she sobbed into her pillow. 

If that was not enough, her dreams were filled with hands pulling her every which way. Anna trying desperately to resist but having no strength, no weight against their pulls. Angry, harsh voices yelled at her, directing her where to go and what to do. 

She’d awaken from that nightmare with a start, but fell asleep soon after hoping for dreamless sleep. 

Luck was not on her side, as the nightmare to follow was worse.

Anna had escaped the castle, ready to leave, standing beside the Oak tree. She waited, and waited, and waited for K to come. Time flew by around her, days and nights passing rapidly, the world moving around her. Still, as she stood there in wait, he never came. 

She’d awoken to tears falling down her cheeks. 

To say she was exhausted was an understatement, from lack of sleep and crying out her pain, her body had nothing left. 

It’s not just weariness that keeps her in bed. If she waits long enough, she thinks, she will miss breakfast. Which is completely fine by her, as she can’t stand the thought of sitting across from her sister this morning. 

She doesn’t trust herself to not begin yelling at Elsa once more, not able to hold back the anger she holds deep inside. More so, she can’t have the gentle reminder, as her sister reads over the papers and her documents, of how she thinks so little of Anna. 

Anna isn’t sure when she falls back asleep, for merely a moment or an hour it is unclear, but the next thing she knows is she awakens to a soft knocking on her door.

“Your highness?” She hears Gerda call, but Anna gives no answer. 

A moment passes and then Anna hears the soft creak of her door as it opens. 

Opening her eyes, she watches as Gerda walks in with a tray in hand. “My lady, I brought you breakfast.” Gerda says, not looking to Anna who has not moved, “Eggs and toast with strawberry jam and a pot of tea with cream and sugar as well.” Gerda moves to the table in front of the fireplace, placing the tray down gently. It’s then as she places the tray down, she peeks over at Anna.

There’s eyes meet, only for a moment but Anna catches the soft smile on Gerda’s face, the way her brows are furrowed ever so. Gerda moves, fixes a cup of tea without another word. Once ready, Gerda comes to Anna’s bedside, placing the tea on the nightstand. 

Anna is curled up, her face half buried beneath the comforter. As Gerda places the tea down, she looks over to Anna. It’s then Anna sees the understanding in her eyes, the bit of concern written on the old woman’s features. 

“Your lessons were canceled today, dear.” Gerda murmurs softly. “Figured you needed a break for once.”

Anna is hit with the understanding that word must have traveled through the castle on her future arrangement. Not trusting her voice, Anna simply nods in thanks. 

Gerda, seeming to understand, nods back at her with the same soft, knowing smile.

“Take all the time you need, my lady.” She says gently, before turning to leave the room. 

****

**~.~**

Anna manages to leave her bed in favor of the breakfast set for her. The smell of the eggs and toast had made her very much aware how hungry she was.

She moves slowly then, enjoying the peace and quiet of it all as she dresses for the day. 

There is no rush, no need to scramble to get anywhere. She has the whole day to waste away, but as the morning drags on she can’t help but wish there was something she could be doing.

She’s made her way to the back entrance of the kitchen, sitting on the side of the stairs, one leg swinging. It is almost comical how perfect the day is. The sun is warm, a nice cool breeze coming across the fjord. Birds are chirping all around, a bell echoing from the docks from a few incoming ships. 

Any other day like this, she’d be laying among the flowers in the castle garden or up in the Oak Tree, watching the village go about it’s day. 

Not today though. 

Today she has no energy or desire to go enjoy anything. 

It’s childish, Anna knows, to mope but, she deserves one day at least to do so. It helps that she hasn’t seen a single sole all day, everyone seemingly busy with other things or maybe they were taking advantage of the nice day.  
Either way, it’s nice to not have to answer to anyone for a moment, to avoid potential whispers as she passes or sad, knowing smiles. 

Anna leans her head back, letting the sun beat down on her face. 

It’s an odd comfort, one that keeps her from biting away at her nails. Her left hand has suffered greatly from all the picking she has done from her anxious thoughts. It’s been a long time since she’s been pushed to do so, but as they say old habits die hard. 

She tries to focus on the birds, on the sound of the breeze blowing; on anything but her own thoughts. 

“Long night, Princess?”

Anna jumps in surprise, looking around frantically before her eyes find Kristoff. She’d been so lost she hadn’t heard him arrive. 

She lets out a breath, hand going to her heart to try and slow down it’s rapid beating. “Yeah,” She murmurs, “You could say that.”

Anna can tell something is different in Kristoff today. She can’t place it, but as she goes to unstrap the ice, there is a slight tension in his shoulders. His jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed. She watches him untie the ropes a little more forcefully than usual. Not to mention, he is extremely late on his usual early morning delivery..

“Everything ok?” Anna asks softly. 

Kristoff pauses then, sighing before he turns around. “Yeah,” he says with a smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes, “I’m ok. Just a long day.” His eyes roam over her, and Anna can’t fight back the blush that comes to her cheeks over his gaze. His smile falls, a look of concern now replacing it, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“That’s rude of you to say.” 

Kristoff rolls his eyes, Anna smiles a small smile at the gesture. “I mean, you look down. Like something is wrong.”

Anna’s smile falls immediately. She bites her lip, ponders for a second if she should even tell him. Might as well, word will travel at some point. “I’m getting married.”

Kristoff stops short of taking the first step up to the kitchen, ice block in hand. He looks over at her, a look of complete surprise. “Oh…”

Anna just nods, unsure herself what to say. 

He continues inside, speaking once he comes back out, “Congrats then.”

Anna huffs a bitter laugh, “Thanks.” she says coldly. 

Kristoff continues to work, grabbing another block, not picking up on her tone, “I didn’t know you were courting anyone.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Ah,” Kristoff says, going up the stairs once more. “Arrangement?”

Anna nods.

“Well, least your future is planned out I guess.” Kristoff calls as he comes back out. 

Anna furrows her brows at his receding back. “What?”

“I mean, I thought this was what all Princesses wanted right? Or royals in general guess? Be married off to a Prince Charming to live happy ever after?” Kristoff says. Anna can fill the anger bubbling up once more, her jaw clenched tightly as he continues, “You get to settle down, have the castle and family you always wanted. I just thought this was every girl's dream?”

“To be married off to some stranger they’ve never met, never even heard of? To be shipped away to some unknown kingdom for the sake of some agreement? To marry out of duty and not love?” Anna nearly yells, her chest heaving in anger, “You think that’s what I want?”

Kristoff just stares at her, eyes wide as she glares at him. 

“I don’t want this.” Anna says, feeling the familiar burn as tears form, “I never wanted this.”

Kristoff stays silent, shuffling a little under her gaze. They’ve never been close, never sharing their personal life or anything of the sort. 

But for him to assume such a thing about her, after years of knowing each other still hurt either way. 

“I’m sorry.” he says, looking at her with regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t.” She says, closing her eyes as she leans back against the wall, pressing her palms to her eyes. “I get it. Everyone thinks that’s all we want. A prince to come and take us away, to be married off and swept away to a far off kingdom to live out their dreams. But that’s not my dream, not even close.” Anna takes slow deep breaths, trying to gather herself. “I’ve never had a say in my life, comes with the title I guess but I don’t want this. I want a say in my life, I want to be myself and not someone everyone wants me to be.”

She sniffles as she removes her hands, blinking at the light as she looks up. The look on Kristoff’s face is not one she expects. She can’t quite place the expression, what it is he is feeling as he looks at her with squinted eyes. 

Before Anna can begin to ask, he shakes his head, coughs lightly as he makes his way back up the stairs. 

Anna looks back to her lap, legs now crossed and hands folded as she tries not to pick once more at her nails.

“I’m sorry.” Anna looks over, Kristoff now kneels beside her on the steps. “I’m sorry I assumed. I...I shouldn’t have. I really am sorry about what I said and...and everything else.” Anna looks away, shrugs. “I hope it can at least all work out in the end for you.”

Anna nods, keeping her eyes in her lap as she feels the tears coming back. She keeps her head down as she hears him move to continue his duty. 

Closing her eyes, she cherishes this moment while she can. Even with all the banter and teasing, she would miss him. 

There is a sudden weight in her hands, resting gently on her lap and Anna opens her eyes to find Sven resting his head on her. His large eyes look up at her with what Anna thinks is understanding. She realizes Kristoff let him off his reigns to come sit with her.

It makes her heart soar.

Anna looks over to see Kristoff wordlessly moving towards the kitchen and their eyes meet. He smiles at her and nods. 

Sven snuffs softly, head tilting a little and Anna looks back to smile at the animal. She runs her fingers through his fur, petting his neck and head in comfort.

It takes much longer for Kristoff to finish his delivery, but Anna doesn’t mind in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short, little filler but aye more Kristoff so who can complain lol


	6. an answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna gets her answer..

Anna groans in frustration, rolling over to stare at her ceiling once again.

She thought that her lack of sleep the night before would make her completely exhausted and bring sleep to her quickly. That wasn’t so. 

The entire night, no matter how much she tried, no matter how long she stared at the ceiling, the wall, the fire; sleep would not take her. 

It’s a cruel trick, Anna thinks, how she had hoped as she got ready for bed earlier that evening that she would not have to deal with any nightmares tonight. She got her request, but only because she hadn’t slept a wink. 

Her thoughts kept her awake, going through several different scenarios and what ifs. 

If she did not leave and refused to move away, what trouble that could bring to her and her kingdom. 

If she did, in fact, move away with this Prince Hans and married him. What life in the Southern Isles, if she remembered correctly, would be like for her.

If she rejected his proposal upon his arrival, refusing to hear otherwise. Would they drag her away, force her down the aisle?

If the Prince arrived and managed to sweep her off her feet, be the man she dreamed of.

If she discussed things with her sister, patched things up before her potential departure or just left things where they lied and never spoke to her again. 

If Elsa would even want to speak with her, if she would even allow that much after what had transpired.

If she had never met K, how different things would be. Would she be the same girl she once knew years before, or would she have become who she is today?

If she would have been able to get through the years without his letters and comfort, if she would’ve overcome the grief and pain in time or not at all. 

Would things be easier without him? 

In retrospect, in a way maybe, but then again she would not be who she is now. Before K, she never would have stood up for herself. She would have bent to their will, going through with the arrangement without one complaint. 

Would she have been happy doing so? She isn’t sure. She thinks possibly her younger self, filled with the fairy tales she’d read in the library, may have found it romantic. To have her so-called prince charming come to sweep her off her feet, whisk her away to a magical, far off land to live happily ever after. 

That idea now makes her stomach queasy, the thought of being given away to the highest bidder.

Anna lolls her head over to her desk, spying the small clock sitting on top. She squints, trying to read the time in the dim lighting of her room.

It was nearly 4 am. 

There is no use in trying to sleep, she realizes, until she gets peace of mind. With that, she forces herself out of bed. 

All day and majority of the night she thought of what K’s response may be, if he left one at all. Anna had planned to go first thing in the morning to the tree, not able to wait till after breakfast to get her response...or lack thereof. 

There was a good chance he had not found time to respond, or even make it to the tree yet to retrieve her letter. 

Still, something pulled her to go check. 

Though incredibly exhausted, Anna dresses quickly to sneak back through the castle. As she places her black cloak back on, she takes one deep breath before moving towards the door. 

She sneaks through the castle with ease, running into no one, as expected in such early morning. Making her way through the kitchen and to the castle wall, she doesn’t hesitate when she stands in front of the dark forest. 

It’s dark, the small sliver of the moon lighting her way but it is not bright. She should be scared, terrified at how dark it is, but she’s not. The cool night air mixed with the crickets chirping throughout the forest give her comfort in a weird way. 

Like the birds during the day, the crickets seem to be beckoning her in, welcoming her into their home.

The only moment of hesitation comes when she sees the Oak tree come into view.

Immediately, Anna’s pace slows, her eyes never straying from the tree. As she draws closer, her heart begins to race.

She comes to a stop just short of the familiar tree. The hole is just above her, unable to see completely inside as it’s just out of eyesight. With shaky breath, she stands on her tiptoes, peering into the hole just so.

Tilting her head up just slightly, her eyes widen as she sees a piece of parchment lying within the hole, one that she recognizes immediately as not her own.

He’s responded, and the thought makes Anna terrified instead of the usual bubble of excitement that would fill her.

Her heels come back down with a soft thud. Anna’s mind races, blinking rapidly as her heart thunders in her chest. 

For the first time since starting these letters, Anna doesn’t immediately move to grab the parchment from inside. She turns, reaching out to place a hand on the trunk to hold herself up. Even still, she falls against the tree, slamming down onto the Earth. 

Leaning her head back, she stares up at the sky as she tries to catch her breath, tries to slow her racing heart. The stars are beginning to lose their shine, the sky becoming a dark shade of blue. In the distance, she can hear the birds starting to awaken. 

She closes her eyes.

This is it.

The answer she has longed and also feared lay just above her. 

It was a terrifying thought that her future lies within the answer written upon the parchment. But also, in an odd way, thrilling.

What if he said yes?

Her plan was not completely thought out. There are some minor details to work out, some things he must do on his own side to assist in this scheme Anna has created. She herself has bits and pieces to manage before the plan is ready to execute, but it would take no time at all to do so.

There was time to map it all out with him, make sure that there would be no hiccups or issues in every step. She was sure they could both manage to create a nearly flawless plan. 

There was still the chance of being caught, Anna knows this. The risk is great, she could potentially find herself in massive trouble. Not to mention K could very much be thrown into the dungeons if they were found out. It would be so easy to claim he had kidnapped the Princess, ignoring the truth of the matter to save face. 

Elsa would, to keep the reputation of the kingdom intact. Then again, Anna could very well be thrown into the dungeon too. Her sister had bidded her away for the sake of her kingdom, lord knows what she would do to protect her reputation, to keep the truth of why Anna had left a secret as well. 

The thought doesn’t surprise Anna, not really. She could almost see Elsa’s furious face, hear her yelling for the guards to take her away.

Even so, the risk of it all would be worth it. 

Even if it was just for a mere moment, if their plan was found out the moment it was executed, if Anna could just see K’s face for just a second it would have all been worth the punishment awaiting them. 

To have a life with him, to see the cabin he spoke so much about, to see the views and places he wrote in detail to her. To be able to see his brown eyes, hold his hand, get the hug she had dreamed so long of having. 

To even have a chance to say his name. 

Then again, what if he said no?

That potential idea was what gave Anna the most dread, what kept her lying awake.

In retrospect, she would understand, truly she would. The risk of it all, not just for her but for him was tremendously great. No matter a commoner or a royal, whoever he may be the punishment for taking her away could be substantial. 

Then again, he had no idea of her royal background, only knew she was from a wealthy family of sorts. 

Though, there was a chance that if they did execute the plan, he could very well refuse to go further once they met, once realizing exactly who she was. 

He could become furious, angry at the fact she played him for a fool to drag him into such schemes. Risking his life as she did so to escape such a lavish life.

Anna believed that through the years of letter, their relationship and bond was solid, capable of withstanding anything. He may not do so after such a confession. 

He could very much decide that this, her identity, was a sign to leave this all behind. To move on from such a childish game and forget the whole thing entirely. 

If that was his request, she would respect that.

If there was a no scrawled in his familiar handwriting sitting above her, she would accept it. 

Though Anna knew, deep down, even if he asked to forget it all she never would. There was no way, no matter how hard she could try, that she would ever forget the kind hearted man that had there for her. 

She would put on a brave face upon the Prince’s arrival, hopefully having cried out her pain before. Though she knows, no matter how kind or caring he may be, no matter how their marriage went, Anna would and could never truly love him.

Her heart belonged to the man who took a chance to reply to a random letter left in a tree.

Anna wonders, if he says no, if he would still be willing to meet. To give them both that peace of mind of who was on the other side of these letters.

He could still say no to that too, an easy way out in a sense. Without a face or a name, the mourning of the loss could be easier for them both. Without knowing, it would not complicate the process of moving on, of leaving the other behind. 

She hopes he will give her that satisfaction and peace of mind to at least give her that. If not anything, if not a potential future with him, at least grace her with his true identity. 

If it made more pain, caused her heartbreak to be even more great than it would be, she could live with that. But she could not bear to live her life never knowing who he was. 

She would ask, she decides, suggest to have at least that piece of him if she couldn't have him completely. 

To have a face and name to the person that held her heart.

Anna opens her eyes, a few rays of sun cresting over the Fjord in the distance. The sky becomes an array of colors; pinks, purples, oranges, yellows, blues. She’s seen a few sunrises in her time, but they still manage to take her breath away each time.

**~.~**

**You think the sunrise in Arendelle is beautiful? You should see the ones in the mountains. The way the light reflects on the snow, against the ice, makes the colors in the sky even brighter. Then the heat hitting the icicles in the trees, making water drop from them. There’s like a..tinkling to it, a little music to greet the sun as it rises.**

_That sounds absolutely magical!_

**It is, it truly is.**

_I hope one day, some day, I’ll be able to see it._

_To watch the sunrise with you._

**You’ll have to get up exceptionally early, not sure if you’ll like that.**

_It would be worth it, to have that with you._

**Someday, I swear it, we will have that moment.**

**~.~**

So many promises made, on both sides, but now would they keep them?

Would there be a chance to?

Anna takes another deep breath, realizing she only has so much more time before the staff in the castle would awaken for the morning duties. 

With the dawn, comes a new day and with it, an answer she must know and accept. 

Accepting her fate, Anna stands, pushing against the trunk to steady herself. Her hands are shaking, so she grips her skirt to steady them as she turns to face the hole. 

She takes a step forward, releasing her skirt with still shaking hands and reaches up to grasp the paper. 

It’s small, tinier than any other letter she has received. Pulling it out, she sees that it isn’t even in an envelope this time but instead a small folded up piece, as though placed with haste. 

As though the response he left was one that was simple and short.

She realizes, as she turns the small folded paper, that the paper is in fact her own. K has seemingly ripped a piece of her paper, of her last letter to leave her a response.

The recognition sends her heart racing once more.

With shaky breath, she begins to unfold until she has one final bit to flip. Unable to bear to watch, Anna closes her eyes and looks away as she unfolds to reveal the response. 

It’s right there, his answer in her hands but she can’t bring herself to look. 

****

**~.~**

**I love you. More than anything, more than I can even understand myself, I love you.**

**~.~**

A moment passes, then Anna slowly turns, looking straight ahead at the tree.

It’s now or never.

Anna, without another moment more, looks down to the paper. 

It’s one word, scribbled in his handwriting, not as neat as his other letters but as though he was in a rush.

As though he was doing it before he changed his mind.

Anna only stares at the word, mouth agape and eyes wide. 

The fear disappears, revealing determination and a bubble of excitement as she reads the word again and again.

**Yes.**


	7. the last night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final evening in the castle..

Dinner, as it has always been, is quiet. The air though is thick with tension, neither Anna nor her sister daring to even glance at the other. 

Every meal has been this way the past week now, the tension so incredibly thick it’s as though a cloud has settled into the room. 

Anna has no desire to speak with her during their meals, letting the small noise of utensils scraping the plates or bowls keep her calm. There are many things she could say, could scream at her sister from across the table but she holds it in. Her poor teacup has had to take the brunt of her glares. 

Tonight though, tonight she has a burning urge to speak.

**~.~**

_It won’t be till much later in the evening till I can leave. Need to use the night as cover to be able to get out without being spotted._

**How much time will you need? If you can manage, come Thursday it will be a new moon. Will give you more cover and make it easier.**

_That’s only a week, that should be more than enough time!_

**~.~**

Anna’s hand shakes as she brings the spoon to her mouth, making sure to do so ever so slow to draw out the time at the dinner table.

She is surprised how quickly the week passed, Thursday arriving faster than she could’ve ever expected. The day K had mentioned the day, she fully prepared for the week to drag on as it seemed to do most times she was excited for something.

The week flew by in a flash however, days going by as quickly as they arrived. 

The entirety of that time, Anna had been full of excitement. She tried to hide it, keep it under wraps to not draw attention to herself, to not bring suspicion on her immediate change in tone.   
To her knowledge, her actions had not alluded any suspicion from anyone.

Now though, now she was scared she may ruin it all.

She just needed to get through dinner, one more evening of awkward, painful silence and she would manage to put her plan into place. 

It was hard now, harder than it had been all week, as her excitement was now completely consumed with nervousness. 

Anna looks up, glancing over at her sister for not the first time this evening. 

****

**~.~**

**Are you sure no one will suspect anything?**

_I promise, no one pays enough attention to me as it is. They won’t suspect a thing._

**What about your sister? You don’t think she’ll be watching you closer now after the argument you had?**

_Seeing as she has done her usual routine of completely ignoring me at every meal, not even so much as looking at me, I highly doubt it_

**~.~**

Anna tries to ease her spoon back into the bowl, trying to hide the shake in her hand. She hasn’t dared touched her tea, knowing full well it would give her nerves away as she set it back down on its plate or spilled onto her dress.

As expected, Elsa has paid little to no attention to her and Anna desperately wants to keep it that way. Wanting to make things seem business as usual. 

She looks back down to her soup, stirring it as she thinks.

This is her last dinner here, her last meal within these castle walls. 

Not to mention, if all goes as planned, the last time she will ever see Elsa.

The thought makes Anna want to speak, makes her want to apologize for everything she said. She knows her plan may potentially break her sister, cause her even more pain than Anna’s words had created before. Apologizing and then running off could be the worst combination too, teasing her sister with hope to only yank it away as soon as it came. 

Still, Anna can’t help wanting to say something, anything to her. Especially tonight. 

She can’t, she knows she can’t. Any apology or words in general gives risk to arouse some sort of suspicion. The last thing she wants is her own sister to start caring now, as sad as that sounds. 

So Anna sits, bringing the spoon to her lips once more as she pushes down the urge to speak once more. 

She watches her sister again, seeing as she eyes the document before, taking sips of soup in between as she does. 

It’s odd really, as she watches Elsa before her, how she finds she is able to push the urge to speak down much easier. 

It’s then, as Anna reaches for her teacup with steadier hands, that she realizes she does not owe her sister anything.   
Years now, Elsa has not once tried to speak to her, let alone bothered to look at her during dinner. The documents and papers continue to hold her attention, holding more importance than the family that sits across from her. 

It drove Anna crazy for so long, drove her to tears many times at the thought that she, her sister’s last living relative, meant so little to her. The idea used to crush her. 

Now, watching as she continued the same routine, even after the argument, even after Anna had confessed to her feelings, laying it all out in the open; she felt no sadness, no pain, only bitterness, anger & annoyance. 

She had laid it all out on the table, pleaded with her sister for even the simplest of conversations, and yet even now she did not change. It was as though Anna had yelled at a brick wall. 

She’d wasted her breath that night, she will not waste more now. 

Anna jumps slightly as she hears a chair move across the floor. Elsa is standing now, eyes still on the document in hand as the other are tucked into her arm. Anna watches her as she takes another spoonful of soup, her sister never looking at her as she moves around the table and walks towards the door.

There is a murmured “good night” that Anna just barely hears, and Anna hums her own back. 

She waits till she hears the door open to the dining room open, then a moment later close. 

Anna takes a deep breath, setting the spoon back into her bowl. She takes in her surroundings, looking over the room for the last time. 

The room that had once been filled with small talk, laughter and smiles now only to be filled with silence and tension. 

She hopes to never have to experience such solum meals ever again, and she smiles to herself as she realizes she never will.

With that, she pushes her chair back, takes her tea cup with her as she downs the last bits. She’ll need all the caffeine and sugar she can, but really her own adrenaline should be enough to get her through tonight.

****

**~.~**

_My sister usually departs first at dinner, I’ll wait for her to leave before going with the plan._

**When do you normally have dinner?**

_At sunset usually, she always leaves right as the sun goes down._

**Right, I’ll be sure to start preparing as soon as night comes.**

**~.~**

Anna grabs a few rolls that had been presented for dinner, stuffing as many as she can into her pockets. She grabs an apple & orange from the centerpiece as well, then moves towards the door.

She tries hard not to run, to not scurry to her room as fast as she can but she resists. The staff is still working, preparing for the evening and she must hold back to not draw attention to herself.

Not that she would really, no one ever watched her as it was. 

Anna lets out the breath she was holding when she closes her bedroom door. For a moment, she leans her head against the door.

She only has a few minutes before Gerda will be coming to assist in getting ready for bed. With that thought, she moves to her bed, getting on her hands and knees to look underneath. Anna pushes aside an old toy box to reveal the bag behind it. 

It’s a travel bag, one she remembered having stuffed in the back of her closet as she never once needed it. It’s large, about the size of a potato sack. Pulling it out, the weight has significantly grown as she added more to it. 

She opens it, pulling the bread and fruit from her pockets, placing it with the others nestled in with the others. 

****

**~.~**

_I’ll try to grab some things from the kitchen to bring. It won’t be much, but still something._

**No need to, it won’t be a long trip to the cabin and I have enough for both of us.**

_I know...think of it as a thank you. It’s not near enough, I know, but I can’t not do anything._

**Just be sure to meet me at the Oak tree by midnight and that will be thanks enough.**

**~.~**

Anna tests the weight of the pack, knowing it will be heavy but she can manage. She tried not to pack too much, bringing three more dresses, another pair of boots, some winter attire just in case and other small essentials.

Most importantly, tied neatly together with a ribbon, are his letters. 

She can’t bear the thought of departing with them, let alone leaving any evidence of their relationship for them to find after she leaves so she made sure to pack them first. 

Anna pauses as she sees the familiar handwriting, smiles to herself as she thinks soon. So soon. 

Footsteps coming up the hall pull her away, Anna moving to shove the bag back under the bed with haste. 

By the time Gerda opens the door, Anna is standing in front of her vanity beginning to unbutton her dress. 

****

~.~

It takes little time, as per usual, to assist in preparing Anna for bed. It’s a routine set in stone, one that has hardly changed at all over the years.

Anna watches from her bed, tea in hand as Gerda continues to prep the fire. 

If there was anyone she would miss, anyone she would regret not getting to say goodbye to, it was Gerda.

The old woman had been nothing but kind to her ever since she was young. Though her duty sure, she did so with such heart and love that Anna considered her part of the family more often than not. 

All evening, as Gerda helped prepare her for bed, Anna could feel her heart racing and she wasn’t sure on why. 

It’s now she realizes that this is it, this will be the final time she ever speaks or sees Gerda ever again. 

She’d be saying goodbye to the one person in the whole castle that truly cared for her. Yet, she wouldn’t be able to really say goodbye as she had to continue to act as normal as possible. 

Still, the thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes. 

“All set my lady?”

“Yes Gerda,” Anna calls, clearing her throat to hide the pain in her voice, “Thank you so much.” Anna tries to emphasize on her thank you, and tries to implore how truly thankful she is for Gerda and her kindness throughout the years.

It won’t be enough, there are no words that could ever be enough for what Gerda has done for her truly. 

“Of course dear,” Gerda says, turning to her now as she wipes her hands upon her apron, “Is there anything else I can get you? I know you haven’t been sleeping well, I can also brew some special tea that could help you.” 

Anna smiles, a lump forming in her throat and not trusting herself to speak, she shakes her head.

“Well, if you're sure.” Gerda says, moving to Anna’s bedside, “If you change your mind, I’m a ring away, alright?”

Anna swallows, trying desperately to hold it together. “Thank you Gerda, truly.”

Gerda nods, “No trouble at all my lady.”

“No, Gerda, I…” Anna pauses, then reaches out to grab hold of the woman’s hand gently. Gerda looks at her, confused, “I mean it. I truly am grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”

Gerda smiles softly at her, and Anna tries desperately to fight back the sob that wants to escape her, “It is my pleasure.” Gerda says, patting Anna’s hand, “Always has and always will be.”

Anna smiles back to her, her lip wobbling ever so. 

“Now enough of that,” Gerda says with a small sniff and another pat to Anna’s hand, “Off to bed with you.” 

Anna nods, handing her the cup and then moves down into the comforter. She watches as Gerda takes the tray and heads to the door, turning once more to look to Anna, “Goodnight Anna.”

“Goodnight Gerda.”

Goodbye, Gerda. 

As the door closes, Anna lets the tears fall. Then she begins to count. 

****

**~.~**

_Once Gerda leaves for the night, it’ll only take a few moments before it’ll be clear for me to head to the kitchens. From there, I should be able to move from there to the tree with ease._

**I’ll be waiting as patiently as I can. Though, I’m sure it’ll run thin with anticipation to see you.**

_You sound like me, little patience for anything._

**I’m meeting the woman I love, how could I have any patience?**

**~.~**

_198._

_199._

_200._

The only sounds Anna hears is the crackle of her own fire, her heartbeat as it thunders in her ears. There are no footsteps moving up and down the halls, the castle becoming quiet. 

As expected, now with the royals asleep, the rest of the staff has begun to do so as well. 

Taking a deep breath, Anna pulls the covers off and begins to execute her escape plan.


	8. escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's time to leave

Anna moves quietly yet quickly as she changes. Though the castle and the staff have gone to bed, risking making any type of sound could lead to her being caught. 

So she is mindful as she moves, remembering every squeaky floorboard, which drawers and doors creak as they are opened. 

The dress she wears is simple, another day dress of sorts, but she makes sure it’s nice. The skirt is an olive green, lightly colored rosalin lines the bottom of the skirt in soft purples, blues and greens. Her bodice is tan though with another shade of green along the outline, it compliments her skirt perfectly. With a very light blue shirt underneath, complimenting the bits of blue along the rosalin on her skirt, she thinks it should be good enough.

Yes, she may be trying to sneak out of the castle, her goal first and foremost, but most importantly she will be meeting K for the first time. She’d rather not show up completely in black, as though dressed for a funeral. 

Their meeting, whether successful or not, should be a nice one and showing up in all black may put a damper on it all. 

Still, she makes sure to tie her black cloak over tightly, the material long enough to hide most of her dress as she moves. 

As Anna looks in the mirror, working to braid her hair, she finds her hands shaking. 

She has to pause, taking a deep breath to collect herself. 

There are many reasons to be nervous, she knows this, but she can’t be. There is too much at stake, too much being risked for her nerves to get the best of her and ruin what could be her future. 

She has to stay calm, for her sake & K’s. 

Taking one final deep breath, Anna looks back to her mirror. Clenching her jaw, she finishes her braid with a new feeling of determination. 

Once finished, she moves to her bed, pulls the bag from underneath and places it on her back. 

This was it.

Anna looks around her room, taking it in for the final time. Too many days and countless hours she spent held up in this room, one she used to love and cherish so much.

Now, it feels more like a prison than home. The pink and green wallpaper along the walls, placed there since childhood. It used to bring her joy, now a reminder of how things used to be. Those brief years of happiness, of fun, of laughter and smiles. 

But as she grew, as she started to observe, she saw how much things were not all happiness and smiles. It was full of judgement, control, sprinkled in with tiny moments of joy with her family. 

It's a reminder of her loneliness, of the emptiness she felt within these walls. A room once seeming to be so large, now so incredibly small and suffocating. 

She wants to hate it, more than anything Anna wants to curse the room and the painful memories it holds. She finds that she can’t. As much as she hates it, it was still a part of her. 

The young, naive child grew into a strong, independent woman within these flower covered walls. Witnessing her growth through the years. 

Anna looks over the room once more, knowing she will never forget it though she still tries to ingrain the scene to memory. 

Accepting her time here was done, she turns and moves towards the door. 

****

**~.~**

_It’s an easy slip down the halls and into the kitchen, from there it shouldn't take me long at all to get up to the tree._

**What if you run into someone?**

_I won’t._

**But what if you do? What will you do?**

_I’ll think of something. But it won’t happen, I promise._

**~.~**

In the years Anna has snuck out to the Oak tree, she has never once ran into anyone.

Not one.

There have been many close calls sure, Anna thinks as she peers around the corner to make sure it was clear. She had nearly slammed into one maid who had been late finishing her chores one evening. Thankfully, Anna had covered quickly by proclaiming she was going to the kitchen, grabbing a late night snack. 

Another time, she hadn’t made it out of her own bedroom door. Gerda had appeared at her door, making Anna scramble to her bed to hide the dress she’d already put on. That had been a very close call, Gerda eyeing her as she’d entered the room. 

She’d changed immediately after Gerda had left, not wanting to risk it that evening. 

Still, Anna knew the castle better than anyone. Had spent years roaming the empty halls, learning how to move around without being caught or seen. 

She makes it to the kitchen easily, not a sound or a peep from anyone within the halls. Opening the door just enough to sneak in, Anna slips through and closes the door with a quiet click. 

She leans her head against the door, sighing in relief that she was nearly there. Only one more door, a quick hop over the wall and she’d be gone.

She’d be free. 

“Anna?”

Anna jumps so hard, she knocks her head against the door. She turns quickly, rubbing idly at her now stinging forehead. 

There, standing near the fire, was Gerda.

It is quiet, Anna staring with wide eyes at a very shocked Gerda. 

No, no no no she wasn’t supposed to be here. No one was supposed to be here. 

It can’t end like this. Not when she was so close, not when K was just beyond the door. 

Anna watches Gerda look her over, the old woman’s eyes stopping on the pack on Anna’s back. 

This wouldn’t be the end, she couldn’t give up now. 

She can’t, she won’t. 

She swore to herself she would take control of her life, would take the reigns away from those that worked to control her path. 

This would not stop her, no one could.

Not even Gerda. 

As Gerda looks back to her, Anna’s eyes fill with tears. Her heart is pounding now, the sound pounding in her ears. 

Her jaw trembles as her lips part, her eyes boring into Gerda’s, begging for understanding. 

“Please.” Anna whispers, pleading. 

It is quiet once more, the tears falling freely down Anna’s cheeks. Gerda still stands by the fire, eyes never leaving Anna’s. 

Then, slowly, Gerda begins to walk over to her. 

Anna takes a breath, unsure what the woman is about to do. Would she demand Anna return to her room? Scold her for even attempting such foolish things? Promising to never speak of this as long as she went back now, throwing away her plan. 

Telling her that whatever it was she was thinking of doing, what she wanted to do, was not worth the trouble. 

To keep this all a secret, just between them, till their dying days.

As Gerda drew closer, Anna held her breath, bracing herself for a possible berating. For her to demand an explanation, with the familiar furry she’d seen a few times from Gerda over the years. 

Maybe she wouldn’t be angry, maybe just confused and that Anna could deal with. A furious Gerda was harder to navigate, harder to negotiate and talk with. When Gerda was angry, there was no defusing till much later. 

Anna braces herself, preparing for the reprimanding to begin. 

It never comes. Instead, Anna’s jaw drops as she feels Gerda wrap her arms around her, squeezing her in a tight hug. 

Anna blinks, completely taken aback. 

Feeling Gerda squeeze gently, one of her hands moving up to the back of her head, Anna slowly wraps her arms around her caretaker, the woman who’d been there for her more than anyone else within the castle. 

Anna buries her face into Gerda’s shoulder, muffling the soft sob that escapes her. 

She isn’t sure what this means, unsure of what the woman is implying by this gesture, if she is comforting her only to berate her soon after. Nonetheless, she appreciates it. 

It pains Anna to realize she can’t remember the last time someone gave her a hug. 

They stand together for a moment longer, Anna softly crying into Gerda’s shoulder. 

She needs to speak, knows she needs to ask her what exactly this means but she can’t bring herself to. She wants to cherish this moment for just a second longer, no matter the outcome set afterwards. 

Then, Gerda beats her to the punch, “I hope you find happiness, Anna.”

Anna sobs openly now, realization of what her words mean. 

Somehow, somehow Gerda knew the pain Anna was feeling. Knew that Anna no longer wanted to be in these walls, did not feel happy nor joy here any longer. 

Bless her, she knew that Anna was trying to leave, knew there was great implications and trouble to come if she let her go, let her escape it all and yet, she was going to let her. 

Anna has never been so thankful, so incredibly grateful. 

“Me too.” Anna manages to murmur, feeling Gerda softly rub her hand along the top of her head. 

“I’m sure you will.” Gerda says, and Anna can hear the shakiness in the older woman’s voice. 

When they pull back, moments later, their faces are both red and puffy from tears. The old woman shakes her head, “Goodness, I don’t think I’ve cried like this in a long time.”

“I’m sorry.” Anna says, smiling sheepishly. 

“Oh no, they’re happy tears I assure you.” Gerda says, bringing her apron up to her face to wipe the last few tears from her cheeks. 

Anna furrows her brows, “Happy?”

“Yes,” Gerda says with a sniff, “Not every day you see the little girl you’ve helped raise become such a strong woman.”

Anna huffs a laugh then, nearly goes for another hug but she realizes too much time has passed.

Gerda has always been able to read her so easily, and she nods, “Yes, I think you best keep going. Everyone else has gone off to bed so you should be good from here.”

Gerda guides her, holding Anna’s hand and patting it gently. 

“Thank you.” Anna says as they come to the door. “Truly, Gerda, for everything. I can never thank you enough.”

“Stop it,” Gerda says with a teasing tone, “You going off to live out a happy life for yourself is more than enough thanks for me.”

There is so much more Anna wants to say, so much more she wants to thank Gerda for, but the chime of a clock ringing the hour echoes through to the kitchen. 

“Better get going.” Gerda says, opening the back door. “More time you spend here, the more chance you’ll get caught.”

Anna nods, squeezing Gerda’s hand one last time and goes through the door.

It is a cool night, the moon hangs full & bright in the sky. 

Anna takes a few steps down the stairs, takes one last look behind her at Gerda.

She smiles at her again, Gerda’s lip slightly wobbling as she does so, then “I’m so proud of you.” she says, barely above of a whisper but Anna still catches it.

Anna smiles a wobbly smile, unable to speak as she watches Gerda close the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know, I'm dragging it out. I'm sorry! I promise next chapter will be the moment we've been waiting for. Would've put it with this bit but it was WAY too long for my liking. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed :)


	9. greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the moment finally arrives..

It was strange climbing up the castle wall for one final time, to find how easy it was to hoist herself up and over. 

Anna thought that it may be hard, that there may be a moment of hesitation as she did so. 

The moment never came though, no moment of regret or unsureness, but there was a bit of nostalgia. 

As she sat a top the castle wall, Anna found herself taking in the view. If she were lucky, this would be the final time she ever saw these castle walls.

The castle looked dark and hollow, a description that fit the vast structure perfectly. There was a time, when Anna was little, that the castle had wowed her. When she would stare at the greatness of it with a large, wondrous smile and bright eyes filled with astonishment at the grand building.

Now, the castle is far from grand. It is a large monument that reminded Anna of all the pain and loneliness she felt. A chaste reminder that her life had its own walls, its own barriers built to keep her on the path she could not choose. 

Even with the painful memories, Anna finds herself smiling for the first time at the view. 

Smiling at the fact she never, ever would have to see the solemn structure ever again. 

She finds herself wanting to say ‘thank you’, and she furrows her brows at the thought of saying such to a building. It is, after all, not a person but then again she has talked to paintings many times before in her life so this isn’t too far from unordinary. 

Still, if not for the pain the castle held, she wouldn’t be here now. She wouldn’t be willing to risk so much to escape it. It was as though the view from the wall, the dark reminder she got every time she saw the castle as she retreated to the forest, had slowly pushed her as much as the people that resided inside had. 

It encouraged her, whispered to her to leave, to be free from it’s heavy grasp. 

Anna takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as her eyes roam over the grounds one more time. Without thinking, she finds herself nodding towards the castle, a silent thank you, then turns & hops off from her post. 

****

**~.~**

Surprisingly, yet thankfully, Anna makes it to the tree first. After sitting her pack against the tree, she spends a few moments scoping the area around her just in case. Though after a few moments, she gives up.

K is nowhere to be seen, and though it brings a bit of worry, Anna is also thankful for at least a few more moments to prepare for their meeting. 

She’s excited, undoubtedly so, but she is still very much nervous for how this will go. He still does not know her true identity, does not yet know who exactly it is he is going to help escape. Does not yet know the high risk he will run by stealing away the Princess of Arendelle. 

The possibility of him changing his mind the moment he sees her, the moment he realizes it all, is still there. The thought of him seeing her, shaking his head and refusing to go any further, ignoring the love that he claims to have for her, sits heavy with Anna. 

She pushes it away though, hangs on to the promise he made her of being here, of hugging her the moment he lays eyes on her. 

Anna wrings her hands as she sits against the trunk of the tree, waiting impatiently for a sign of K’s arrival.

It’s quiet, calm, the completely opposite of the whirlwind of emotions stirring within Anna.

She is unsure how much time has passed, but she knows it’s been longer than expected. The idea that he changed his mind starts to grow, starts to overwhelm the bit of excitement she has. 

The idea of returning to the castle if he did indeed change his mind, if K never shows, is one Anna refuses to acknowledge. There was no way, no matter what K’s decision may be, that she was returning to that life ever again. Ships came to the harbor every day, coming and going as they pleased and Anna thinks she could bargain for a place aboard one of them if needed. 

Perhaps she could find a harvester, convince them to let her go along with them up to the mountains where she could try to find K. Ask around and plead for help in finding him. Though she has no idea his name, no real idea of his features at all, she wouldn’t stop till she at least saw his face. Knew the name and face of the man that had claimed to love her but left her to her own demise out of fear. 

She’d beg, plead with him to reconsider. Let it cause a scene if it did, she wouldn’t care, the only thing she cared about was the man who’d refused her. 

Anna doesn’t want to think about that scenario though, she bites her lip as she pushes the scene away as best she can. It is still late in the night, still plenty of time for K to arrive.

Still though, much time has passed and she has yet to see any sign of him. 

A gentle breeze blows from the harbor, the tops of the trees swaying with it ever so. Anna wraps her cloak tighter around her, though the breeze is not cold it still sends a chill up her spine. 

She hears it then, a slight rustle of paper and Anna stands with a confused look on her face. She immediately turns to the hole in the trunk, peering in on her tip toes and sees an unfolded paper lying within. 

Anna tilts her head slightly in a bit of confusion. Odd, she didn’t expect a letter from K. Not since their last exchange of letters the day before. The worry within her grows once more, scared of what the note could say. 

Furrowing her brows, she reaches and grabs the paper. The light from the full moon is bright, just as K said it would be, making it easy for Anna to read.

****

**~.~**

**A,**

**I’m sorry if I’m late. I wanted to make sure everything was ready and fully prepared.**

**Please don’t worry, I promise to be there as soon as I am able.**

**Wait for me, I’ll be with you soon.**

**With all my love,**

**K**

**~.~**

Anna is unsure why the tears come, why she giggles in joy at the realization that he was, in fact, still coming. But they do and she does as she sits back down, clutching the letter to her chest.

He hadn’t left her, thank god. 

There is a brief moment of shame at the idea she’d even considered it, that she would ever think he would leave her like this. 

Still though, it was a fair moment of fear, one that surely anyone would understand if they were in this situation. More importantly, he would understand it as well if he knew. 

For a time, Anna sits against the trunk of the Oak tree just listening to the night. Crickets are playing their songs all around her, the breeze brushing through the trees softly, the bright full moon engulfing the night sky as it is surrounded by the bright stars; it’s a moment she wishes she could hold onto forever. 

It’s a beautiful moment, a peaceful one. 

It’s comforting, even while being alone in the pitch dark. 

A rustle in the distance startles Anna from her peace, making her jump at the sudden disturbing sound in the night. 

She stares off towards where the sound echoed from, only to hear the noise once more. Her eyes widen as she realizes this was it. K was here. 

Anna gulps at the realization, standing quickly. She pats down her dress, pulls the hood of her cloak off her face to have it in full view in the light of the moon. She pulls at her braids, running her fingers along them to make sure they were still well intact. 

The rustling draws closer, Anna biting her lip in anticipation. 

Her heart hammers in her chest as she sees the silhouette of a man appear from the edge of the forest. She can’t make much out, not yet, but from here she can tell that he is a tall man. The moonlight catches his height, his broad shoulders and large build. 

He is a man, more so than any prince or dignitary Anna has ever seen in paintings and books. 

The figure stops when they emerge from the trees, seeming to stare at her as she does him. 

Her breath is shaky, heart racing, hands fighting to stay still at just the mere dark silhouette of the man Anna has loved for so long. 

As much as she wants to run to him, to jump into his arms, she can’t seem to make herself move. She is frozen in place, much as K is as well. 

After a moment, K moves closer, only a few more steps and Anna fears her heart will beat out of her chest at the rate it is going. 

She wants to speak, wants to say something, anything, but no words come. Neither of them seem to be able to say any words, both unsure of what exactly to say. 

He stops once more, mere feet away, the darkness still covering most of his features but Anna can see a sash around his waist. He’s wearing an Ice Harvester outfit, she realizes, and the outfit almost seems familiar. The tint of purple in the sash specifically seems to scream at her.

There is a soft creak, Anna seeing K raise up what seems to be a lantern. She watches him move his free hand to it, another soft creak and Anna holds her breath as he begins to open the shutter. 

He does slowly, as though as fearful as she is to finally see the other’s face. The light peaks just so from the shutters until the light shines brightly now, no longer hidden.

The light is not the only thing no longer concealed, and Anna’s eyes widen as K’s face comes into view in the lantern light. 

The air in her lungs rushes out of her all at once, her jaw left hanging open in complete shock. 

There, standing before her, with the same look of complete & utter shock, is Kristoff. 

No one moves, one dares says a word.

They just stare, both completely taken aback at the realization.

This whole time, these past 3 years, she had been talking to and fallen completely, intensely in love with Kristoff. The man she saw nearly every day, who she teased relentlessly, who she saw as nothing more than a friend. 

He was the one telling her of his adventures in the mountains, of the views he’d seen from his cabin, the people he’d met in the village. More importantly, had told her how much he’d wish to share those moments with her, how much he completely and truly loved her with all he had. 

Kristoff, it was all Kristoff. 

How had she been so blind to it all? How had she not seen? The reaction from just the other day, his hesitation when she’d mentioned her arrangement. 

She realizes now the look she’d seen on his face, the one she couldn’t quite place. He’d looked at her in confusion, in uncertainty, surely wondering if it was mere coincidence that she and A just so happened to both be betrothed. 

Now it made sense to Anna though, the schedule of his letters, the timing of it all. It was always when Kristoff was in town, when he came back to deliver for the castle. She’d never noticed, never even considered it because the idea was too far from being possible.

But it had been, it was completely possible. 

Kristoff standing before her proved that. 

Now though, the fear came once more. The fear that Kristoff could very much turn and leave, refusing to go further. He knew her title, knew her importance to the kingdom, had to know what continuing forward could possibly entail if he was ever caught. 

The risk was grand, especially for one who’d begun his business from the ground up, who had no one else in his life except her. 

Anna’s lip began to wobble, tears beginning to form as she stood in anticipation, waiting for him to say anything.

To do something other than stare at her in disbelief. 

No words come, not from him nor her. For once in Anna’s life, she is completely speechless, unsure of what to even say. 

Still though, behind the shock of it all, this is the man that loves her. It strikes Anna at once, fully and completely that she was now face to face with the man that told her in hundreds, if not thousands of words of how he loved her. 

How he dreamt of meeting her, of showing her the world he knew, of hearing her laugh, seeing her light blue eyes, of seeing her smile. 

As shocking as it may be, K was real, he was here and he was Kristoff. 

More importantly, he loves her, and she him.

So she moves, slowly, cautiously towards him. The idea that he could turn and run comes to her so she tries to be gentle in her movements. 

Kristoff continues to stare, watching her as she comes right up to him. Anna leans her head back just so to be able to keep eye contact with him. Her hands are clenched against her chest, squeezing so tight, trying to keep her nerves at bay. 

The light of the lantern shines in Kristoff’s eyes, his honey browns seeming to sparkle in the dark of the night. His cheeks are red, from embarrassment or from the trip to the tree, she isn’t sure, but it’s endearing nonetheless. She’s close enough now that she can even see the few freckles scattered across his face, and the view gives her a brief moment of courage.

Anna takes a shaky breath, willing herself to speak, “Kristoff?”

It’s a question. One she is sure he hears and knows, one that she needs to hear the answer to. No matter what that answer may be but she hopes, pleads with wide eyes that it’s the one she wants. 

Anna feels a tear fall in the silence, Kristoff still staring at her though his features slowly soften. The tension leaves him, the furrow in his brow gone, his eyes soft as he looks at her now with a small smile. 

There is a sudden clatter, the lantern falling to the ground and Anna gasps as his large arms wrap around her. She stands still, unsure of what is happening till she realizes he is, in fact, hugging her. 

Kristoff is so large, Anna’s head barely makes it to the top of his shoulder, his entire body seeming to cover her. It’s overwhelming, but for many reasons than just the size of him. 

It’s been so long since he’d made the promise to her, swearing the first thing he’d do when he saw her was hug her tightly. To give her the embrace he’d longed to give her.

He’d kept his promise, even after such a surprise. 

No words are said, nothing is spoken, but none are needed as Anna feels the love radiating off of him.

She slowly wraps her own arms around him, burying her face into his chest as his arms squeeze her gently. Her tears fall freely now in pure, unadulterated joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept wanting to work on it more and more till finally I said enough and posted it. I'm sure I could've edited it even more but, anyways. 
> 
> ta-da!


	10. chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> to the cabin..

No words are spoken as they make their way to Kristoff’s wagon. 

No words are needed at the moment, and quite frankly, Anna is still unsure what are the right words to say. It still feels new, awkward almost even though there was so much between them already.

They had held each other for who knows how long; minutes, hours, Anna wasn’t sure nor did she care. The comfort of it, the feeling of his arms around her, how she seemed to fit perfectly under his head, was something she never wanted to escape. More importantly, the fact that he kept his promise despite the shock of the reveal. He did not run, did not demand an explanation; he had opened his arms to her with a smile and held her close. 

Kristoff was a man of his word, the hug proved just that along with the fact his feelings for her were still there. 

Anna could’ve stayed there in that moment forever. 

They remain quiet the entire trip down the hill, winding through the trees of the forest and through the empty streets of Arendelle. It’s odd, to Anna at least, seeing such a usually busy and loud village so incredibly silent and still. It’s eerie, making her feel as though everyone could hear every step they took along with her pounding heart. 

Though they had met, they were still not out of the woods quite yet. The risk of being caught still hung in the air. 

It makes her nervous, makes her look every way as they move. Every shadow, every small sound keeps her on edge the entire trek. 

A steady comfort comes from his hand, one that she’s held onto since they left the Oak tree. She hasn’t let go, hasn’t tried to nor wants to. Kristoff hasn’t moved either to release their grasp, holding her small hand in his. He squeezes it gently every so often as they make their way, signalling to her to be careful or to stop. 

Thankfully, they make it to the edge of the village with no trouble. She follows behind Kristoff as he guides her through a few more trees till she sees his wagon along with Sven lying in wait. 

Animals are not super expressive creatures, but Anna swears Sven has a look of complete shock when he awakens. His eyes are wide, jaw dropped ever so and Anna can’t help but giggle at the site. 

Kristoff chuckles beside her, the sound creating butterflies in her stomach. She’s heard it numerous times before, after many sarcastic remarks, but now it’s different. It seems to mean more now than it did just mere days before. 

“I know bud, I know.” Kristoff murmurs as he walks over to pat the reindeer on the neck, “I was just as shocked as you.” 

Kristoff looks back, softly smiling at her and Anna can’t help but blush under his gaze. She ducks down, biting her lip to keep herself from giggling once more. She feels almost foolish, acting like a young school girl seeing a boy for the first time. 

He squeezes her hand gently, willing her to look back at him. She does, peeking up at him through her lashes and his smile is bigger now. It’s as comforting as the hand she is holding and for that, she smiles back at him.

For a moment, they just look at each other, neither wanting to break the other’s gaze. It’s not till Sven grunts in impatience that Kristoff breaks away, looking back at the reindeer and coughing slightly. “Sorry Sven, uh....” He walks over to the wagon, motioning for her to climb in, “after you?”

He helps her into the front seat of the wagon, still holding her hand, and minutes later they are moving. 

Anna takes a deep breath then, letting it out slowly and into the cool night. It’s then that it all hits her. 

She’d made it. She was free. 

She was gone, never to hopefully set foot in the castle ever again. She realizes how she has called it the castle for so long, wonders when it changed from simply being called home. It’s been a long time since the grand walls ever felt truly like a home to her.

When they’re a good ways up, Anna feels a sudden pull to look back. She hesitates for a moment, then finally turns to look down below to Arendelle.

It’s a strange sensation, like the moment back on the castle wall. The castle and village are in plain view now, the entirety of Arendelle laying below her and she finds herself wanting to say goodbye once more. 

But it wouldn’t be goodbye, not really. Anna thinks maybe, if enough time passes, she could come back to the village. Not to live, but to visit or to help Kristoff on his deliveries if anything. She can see herself now, standing beside the wagon, chatting with whatever customer has that day as Kristoff moves the ice inside. Her sitting in the front of the wagon, dangling her feet and Kristoff leaning against the side as they wait for customers in the village square. 

The more she imagines it, the more it makes her smile. The idea of such a simple, easy life between them makes her giddy.

No, this was not a goodbye, this was a ‘see you soon’. 

“Hey.” Anna hears Kristoff whisper. She looks over to him, sees him eyeing her with a bit of concern. It’s the first time he’s truly, really spoken to her. “You ok?”

Anna nods, her smile growing soft at his concern. 

“Are you sure?” He asks, his eyes looking down then back to her, “If...if you’ve changed your mind--”

“No.” Anna says softly, as she turns back around. She finds his hand once more, pulling it from the reigns, grabbing hold with both of her own and squeezing it gently in her lap. “I’m ok. I..” She breathes a laugh, looking back to his soft brown eyes, “I’m more than ok….I’m-I’m so happy, you don’t even know.”

Kristoff smiles at her, but it’s different than before. This one does not seem to reach his eyes. Anna can see the small bit of doubt, the unsureness beginning to brew within him. “Good.” He says, and he pulls his hand from her grasp. 

Anna nearly protests, goes to ask what’s wrong, but she watches as he hestinantly, slowly, puts his arms around her shoulders. 

Really, it’s more along the back of the seat, giving her space in case she wants it. Anna doesn’t though, she wants him as close as she can have him now that he is here. 

Since Kristoff had taken her hand, she had prayed he wouldn’t let go. Not just because of the steady comfort it gave her during their trek down. Holding his hand, feeling him gently squeeze her fingers, was a steady reminder that he was here. That he was in fact real, aiding her escape and that this was, in fact, happening.

Anna feared, more than anything during their trek down that at some point she would awaken in her castle bed. That this was all an elaborate dream and if he let go, he would disappear. 

She wonders, eyeing his hand that sits just behind her along the back of the wagon seat, if he too had thought the same. If that was why he had held her hand so tightly, squeezing her hand as a reminder to himself that she was still there. 

This all didn’t feel real. That they had finally met, finally was able to put a face and name to the one that they had professed their love to in so many words, and neither had run in fear or dismay. 

No. Instead, they had embraced each other, holding on to each other and the realness of it all. 

So she grabs hold of his hand, pulling it down gently so his arm now rests fully across her shoulders, his arm curling down across her chest. Anna takes hold of his hand once more and rubs her thumb across the back of his glove.

She peers back up at Kristoff, catching his surprised eyes and the blush on his cheeks and giggles. 

There is still lots to be discussed. Many things left to talk through and judging by the concern behind Kristoff’s eyes, she knows it will come sooner rather than later. 

For now though, as she leans her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes, she will enjoy this moment of peace with him. 

Will savor it just in case. 

****

**~.~**

She’s unsure when she falls asleep, but Anna awakens when she feels the wagon come to a gentle halt.

“Anna.” She turns her head into his chest, hiding the growing blush that comes at the sound of him saying her name. Again, the butterflies stir. “Hey,” Kristoff whispers gently, running a gloved hand along the crown of her head, “We’re here.”

Anna opens her eyes slowly, blinking as her eyes adjust. 

Before her sits a small cabin. The night keeps most of the details of the structure hidden, but just the site of it makes her smile all the same. 

“I um...I know it’s not much.” Kristoff says, letting his hand fall to her shoulder as Anna sits up. “I may have talked it up a bit more in my letters.”

He had mentioned his cabin many times, giving Anna as much detail as he could. She’d wanted to know every aspect of it, know every small thing about the cabin he’d built with his own hands. 

Kristoff always seemed shy to talk about it, not wanting to make it seem like such a grand place but back then and especially now, Anna loved it. 

“It’s perfect.” Anna said, looking over to Kristoff who looked down at her with a nervous smile. “It’s exactly as you described it.” 

Anna feels a gentle squeeze on her shoulder, sees his smile grow at her words and it makes her heart sore. 

Nothing else is said as he works to unhitch Sven and unload the wagon. Anna helps where she can, moving her bag and other things Kristoff had stowed away to the front of the cabin. She stands and waits as he takes Sven over to the small barn beside his home. Anna had heard much about that too, had asked about all the animals he had (4 chickens and Sven), if he had a garden (a small one in the back), what all he kept inside (hay mostly). Seeing it now all in front of her was almost overwhelming. 

She’d never thought she’d be able to see it all, to be able to lay her eyes on his home. 

Now, here she stood just outside the door. 

She doesn’t dare go inside without him, waiting patiently for Kristoff to return. Anna knows she could simply go in, begin to unpack but she thinks it would be wrong. This is his home, one he made with his bare hands. His own personal space that she was throwing herself into and he was letting her. Though it was now technically her home as well, she felt it best for him to guide her inside, to let her in. 

Kristoff comes back a few minutes later, lantern in hand. He goes to open the door but Anna sees him hesitate for just a second, hand hovering over the door handle. Before she can even ask, he opens the door and stands to the side, letting her go in first.

Anna looks to him as she enters, giving him a small, reassuring smile. The furrow in his brows softens just so but the frown stays. 

It’s simple, quiante, just as he had described in his letters. 

A small kitchen with utensils hung and stored where he was able to find space. A fireplace along the back wall, a pelt lying in front of it. A table and chair stand nearby, one that Anna knows Kristoff had spent a week creating after being held up in the cabin during a particularly bad snow storm years before. 

The bed is small. A simple thing tucked towards the far wall under one of the two windows, pelts lying on top of it as well. A single chest sits at the foot of the bed, holding all his things. 

It’s modest, homely and in Anna’s eyes, the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. 

No more large empty rooms that gathered dust. No more long stretches of endless hallways. No more dragging silence, only the echo of her footsteps to be heard. Anna can still hear the crickets chirping outside, watches as Kristoff kneels to make a fire that soon begins to crackle in its place.

No, no more of such grand, hollow things. Now it would be this, a small and comfy home that she hopes, prays she can stay in forever. 

As Kristoff finishes setting the fire, lighting the candle that sits on the table, Anna moves to the bed and takes a seat. She engrains the site to her memory, smiling as she takes it all in. She watches Kristoff bring in the few bags from outside, then closes the door with a soft click when the task is done. 

Before he turns to face her, he rubs the back of his neck, a sign of nervousness that Anna has grown to know over the years. His shoulders are tense, pulled nearly up to his ears, and his free hand rests heavily against the door.

“I’m sorry.”

Anna blinks, tilting her head as she furrows her brows in confusion at his back. “For?”

Kristoff takes a breath before turning to her, his eyes staying to the floor and avoiding her gaze. “For this.” He gestures around them, eyeing over the cabin, “I...I know it’s not anything great. Not the castle you’re used to and everything...but, it’s all I have.” 

Anna’s features soften, a small smile forming on her face, “It’s better than the castle.” Kristoff huffs a laugh at her. “It is, you...you have no idea how grateful I am that it’s not like the castle. Kristoff…” Anna says, biting her lip as he looks at her now. His shoulders sag slightly at her next words, “It’s better than I could have ever imagined it.”

“You’ve...you’ve imagined it?”

Anna’s smile grows as she nods. “Many times. Ever since you told me about it. I always imagined, thought of what it looked like. How amazing it must be, to live in something you’ve built yourself. Every time you talked about it I would hold on to the idea of it, imagine your cabin sitting in waiting.”

“Waiting?”

It was Anna’s turn to feel slightly embarrassed, “There were...there were several times I thought of running away. I didn’t know where it was, obviously, but I... thought about it many times. Running to your cabin, to you. To escape it all and come here where things just seemed to be more...simple.”

She fiddles with her hands, wringing them as she hears his boots along the wooden floor. He’s in front of her now, and Anna looks up to watch him kneel before her. Kristoff looks at her, Anna now a bit taller than him now and it’s odd being able to look down at him. She can see the same bit of concern hidden in his eyes, the one she’d seen stirring only a few hours before. He takes one of her hands in both of his own, his gloves now gone and the feel of his skin on hers creates a spark that makes Anna gasp. He holds it gently between his own, rubbing her hand idly as he does. 

“Am I what you expected?”

Anna bites her lip. 

In all those years, she’d never really imagined who he would be. In the beginning, sure, she’d wondered who he was, what he looked like, and thought about what features he may have.

But as more letters came, as they spoke more and more, Anna decided she didn’t care. 

What she cared more about was the kindness that was in his heart. The sweet things he’d write about her, things he wanted to share with her. How he’d let her write pages of letters on her feelings, on her dreams, on her hopes and he had responded in full with pages of his own. Talking her through her pain, cheering on her hopes and dreams, supporting her in being herself, to speak for herself, be who she wanted to be; being there for her as much as letters could allow. 

He was no prince, sure, but she didn’t want a prince. 

Anna wanted the man that though nameless and faceless, had stolen her heart with his caring words. 

She wanted him.

She wanted K.

Having it turn out to be Kristoff, the boy she’d befriended so long ago, had joked and teased so often to the point of tears of laughter, who asked about her day, gave her advice, listened to her complain about petty things, sharing the most outrageous stories they’d heard; being the friendly, kind ice harvester that she’d come to cherish so dearly was an added bonus. 

Anna places her free hand on top of his own, looking back to him as she leans in just so. 

“No,” She says, being truthful to the fact she never would’ve expected it to be him. She smiles though as she continues, “You’re better than I expected.”

Kristoff smiles at her, a smile Anna can’t wait to see more of now that she is here, that she will get to see every day as long as fate will allow. He huffs a soft laugh, one Anna follows with a soft giggle of her own. 

It’s all still new, still fresh even after so many years of chatter between them. 

Kristoff leans forward ever so, and Anna follows him till their foreheads rest gently together. She watches him for a moment, taking in the fact that her K, her Kristoff was truly here before her. 

The man she loved, the man she cherished so much, was here. 

Anna thinks she could kiss him, could lean forward and do it so easily. She thinks he may even do it, may lean in to close the space between them. But neither move, not wanting to ruin the moment they have now. There would be plenty more time for kisses, Anna thinks, a small blush creeping up at the thought.

The air of awkwardness still sits in the air, more of a mist than a heavy fog but still it lays around them. At the moment though, neither seem to notice or pay it mind. It can be dealt with later. For now, it’s just them, finally alone, together. 

She watches as Kristoff closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath and Anna follows him. They sit, hands held tight, as they breathe in the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent...so much time nick picking this. I know I know, it may not be the reunion you’d think but we will get there I think sooner rather than later but we going kinda slow. but we will get there, bear with me!


	11. first morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first morning together..

Anna finds she is incredibly warm the next morning, her body curled against something large and solid.  


She awakens slowly, keeping her eyes closed as she lets herself just listen, feel everything around her. 

Last night could easily be passed off as a dream, that she was in fact awakening in her bed back at the palace, if not for the soft breathing she hears just above her head. 

They’d sat, foreheads together, hands clinging to the other’s for so long, not wanting to break the tender moment. 

Till Anna had yawned, and Kristoff had chuckled at her as she blushed furiously. 

“Long day for us both, huh?

She’d nodded, smiling fondly. Until, she’d watched him go towards the door, preparing to leave.

“Where are you going?”

He’d turned then, looking over his shoulder at her with confusion. “To the barn?”

Anna stood then, confused herself. “Whatever for?”

“I...I was going to sleep there?”

Anna blinked at him, “Why?”

“I didn’t...I wasn’t sure if you…”

She walked up to him, watching him struggle to get out the right words till she laid her hand against his cheek, “I want you here.”

He’d stared at her, as though making sure he’d heard her right. “You’re sure?”

Anna had smiled, nodding, “I finally have you here, I don’t want...I don’t want you to go.”

That’s how they had found themselves curled up in Kristoff’s bed, at first both laying side by side and staring up at the ceiling. 

Anna had reached for his hand, grabbing hold and smiling to herself when he heard him take a shaky breath. 

There was a gentle tug and Anna found herself following, being pulled close against his chest. His other arm draped over her, rubbing circles along her back. Still clutching his hand in hers, she hummed at the comfort. 

Such strong, large hands being so gentle, so comforting.

Feeling bold, she’d lightly kissed his knuckles, keeping her eyes closed as she did so. 

She didn’t have to see to know he was blushing once more, and smiling too. 

“Goodnight, Anna.” He’d whispered gently, kissing the crown of her head. She’d murmured a reply before gently being lulled to sleep. 

It was the best sleep Anna has had in weeks, months, years really. To have the weight of him beside her, to be tucked up against him, it was a comfort she didn’t know she needed. 

She sighs as she feels his hand brush a hair from her face, barely brushing her skin as though she may break. It comes to rest on top of her head, letting him be able to tenderly run his thumb along her brow.

The tenderness of it brings a smile to her face, and she swears she can hear his own forming. 

“Morning.” He whispers, as soft as his hand had been.

Anna opens her eyes with a hum, taking in how the rising sun seems to make his eyes glow. “Morning.” She says, keeping her eyes on his. 

He smiles at her, a lopsided grin that Anna has seen many times before.

“You snore.”

Anna blinks at him, before realizing he’s teasing her. It’s surprising, the feeling of familiarity that comes with the teasing tone. Then again he’s teased her for years now. It seems to sit differently, now knowing who he truly was. 

She bulks, smacking him on his chest as she chuckles. “I do no such thing.”

“How would you know? You’re sleeping.”

“I just do.” She huffs, frowning at him. She desperately fights to smile as she continues to chuckle, biting her cheeks to keep it from forming.

She fails miserably. 

Kristoff’s chuckle dies slowly, a smile still on his face but his eyes now serious. “I thought…”

Anna’s smile falls, knowing what he was going to say.

She herself had thought it to be a dream too, one she was terrified would result in her awakening in the castle within her own bed. 

“Me too.” She says, leaning her head against his chest, closing her eyes as she feels his arm tighten around her. “I was so afraid I’d wake up and you’d be gone.”

Kristoff sighs, one Anna feels with the rise of his chest, the air tickling the back of his head. She slips her hand up and places it over his heart, feeling it beat under her palm. It’s reassuring, not that she needs much of it, but it's comforting all the same. 

“I know.” he murmurs in her hair, “I know.”

Once again, Anna finds herself in a moment she does not want to leave, wants to lay with him, her head against his chest and his sitting on top of hers, all day if they can.

Her stomach, as it growls loudly, has different plans. 

Kristoff chuckles once more, murmurs something about breakfast and starts to move. 

Anna stays lying in the bed, watching as he sits up. 

There had been a moment that night, when they’d begun to prepare for bed, that the awkwardness had returned. Anna had seen shirtless men before, in books and paintings, but seeing it first hand was different.

She’d blushed fiercely, scanning over his large chest, one sculpted by muscles no doubt created from years of hard work. How long Anna had stared, she doesn’t know, but she does know that when she looked back to Kristoff’s face he was blushing just as much as her. 

The awkward mist was now a thick fog, and Anna was not going to let it consume them. Not now. 

So she had smiled, teased how yes, he would do nicely. 

Kristoff had stared at her, blinked then blushed once more as she smirked at her. “You’re not bad yourself.” He played along, making Anna turn red all the way to her toes. 

Now, seeing it again, Anna continues to stare. His back was just as muscular as his chest, watching as they move as he stretches in front of her. 

He peaks over at her then, smirking when he catches her eye.

He moves to the kitchen, grabbing eggs from one of the cupboards and pulling a pan from another. She watches him intently as he places another log on the fire, adjusting it so the pan could sit well on top of it. Then, after a minute or so, Kristoff cracks a few eggs into the pan then places it into the fire. 

Moments later, he presents her with a plate and instead of moving to the table, he joins her in sitting on the bed.

It’s quiet as they eat, a comforting one though Anna has a question that needs answering. One that he himself had asked last night that she wants to know the answer to.

“Kristoff.” She says, turning her eyes to him. He hums as he takes another bite, “Am...Am I what you expected?”

He pauses, then finishes his plate. Anna can see the way his brows furrow ever so, as though he was thinking carefully on his words. She thinks to maybe take it back, to forget about it but she needs to know. Must know what he thinks of her. 

He finishes his plate quickly, places it on the floor as he sighs. He turns to her as she sits cross legged on his bed, biting her lip in anticipation. 

“Honestly?” He questions, she takes a breath as he starts, “I...never, ever expected it to be you. I mean, I had wondered but I never could have thought, you know?”

She nods in understanding. Never in a million years would she have thought Kristoff was the one writing to her, so she can only imagine how he felt knowing it was the princess of all people writing to him.

“But…” He says, taking one of her hands in his, “I won’t lie in saying that I...I had sometimes hoped it might be you.”

That made Anna gasp, eyes wide in bewilderment. “Wait, what?”

Kristoff huffs a laugh, turning to look to the fire, “There may have been a time I had a crush on you.”

“Really?”

“Don’t act so surprised.” Kristoff says, looking to her with the same smirk she was growing to love, “You’re beautiful Anna, anyone could see that.”

“But...but you did.”

Kristoff nods, furrowing his brow in confusion at her words.

“I just...I never realized...never knew.” She says, feeling bashful now.

“In your defense, I hid it pretty well.”

“I suppose,” Anna says, thinking, “I was...I was so focused on the letters, our letters,” she emphasizes, “that I, I pushed away the feelings I had.”

“Wait, you liked me?”

Anna smiles at him, nodding. Kristoff’s shocked expression makes her giggle, and soon he follows after her. To think, they’d both liked the other without even knowing, without even realizing. 

When the laughs die down, Anna sees the serious look return to Kristoff’s eyes, his smile gone in favor of a grim face. The awkwardness returns, the same thick fog that had set in the night before. “What is it?”

“Anna,” she’ll never tire hearing her name come from his lips, she is sure of it, “Are you sure about this?” Anna tilts her head at him, confused. He looks away from her again, staring intently into the flames of the fire. “I’m...I’m no prince, as you can see. I barely have anything other than this cabin, my business. I don’t have any fancy buildings to my name, no titles, no real money. It’s just me and this, that’s all I have. I...I want you to have someone that can fully give you what you deserve and, I don’t know if I can do that Anna.”

Her brows are furrowed now, a deep frown forming on her face, “Kristoff, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t sure.” She moves then, knees tucked under her as she places her free hand on her shoulder, willing him to look at her but he continues to stare into the flame. “I don’t want a prince, I don’t want buildings or fancy titles. I don’t care about any of that. All I want...Kristoff, all I want is you.”

“You say that now,” he says, almost too soft for Anna to hear, “but what if...what if you regret it?” He looks to the floor now, “What if I’m not what I appeared in the letters?”

Anna shakes her head, confusion slowly turning into anger. “I won’t.”

Kristoff grunts, moving to grab his plate and hers, then stands with a huff as he goes to the kitchen. “How can you be so sure?”

The confusion shifts away, and anger and annoyance slowly begin to grow within Anna as she stands, arms crossed. “I won’t.” She repeats, “I won’t regret it. Never.”

He shakes his head at her, his back to her now as he places the plates with the skillet. Anna clenches her jaw, frustration building. 

“If you weren’t the man you were in the letters, I wouldn’t be here.” Anna says, determined. That makes Kristoff pause, so she continues, “You would have left me alone at the tree, may have told me no from the start. You would have left me to my own devices if you weren’t who you said you were. You could have ran the moment you realized who I was but you didn’t. You stayed, you wrote me, you said yes.”

Worry begins to consume her, hoping to all things that he doesn’t already regret all he has done and wanting to send her back. Giving up before it can even begin. 

“I’m just an ice harvester Anna.” Kristoff says, still refusing to look at her. “You’re a princess I…”

Anna’s shoulders sag, her arms falling as she takes slow steps till she is behind him. “I know.” She whispers, gently wrapping her arms around his torso. Any other time, she would joke at how vastly large he was, how her arms barely were able to wrap around him at all. 

Another time, she thinks, if there is one. 

They stand there for a moment, Anna resting her head against his spine. They breathe together, feeling the other. She nearly cries out in relief when she feels one of his hands take hers. “That doesn’t matter.” She murmurs into his back, squeezing his hand gently for courage. “Titles, positions, money. It doesn’t matter Kristoff I...I still love you all the same.” 

It’s the first time she says the words aloud. She’d wanted to the moment she’d seen him, the moment he had held her but she couldn’t find the courage, couldn’t find the strength to finally let it out. 

Kristoff squeezes her hand, then gradually turns to face her. Anna looks up at him, surprised to see a brim of tears forming in his eyes that she realizes matches her own. 

“I love you too.” He says, raising his free hand to cup her face. “I do, I...Anna, I love you.”

Anna’s smiles so large her cheeks hurt, a giggle mixed with a relieved sob escapes her. “Say it again.”

Kristoff smirks at her, leans down ever so and whispers, “I love you, Anna.”

“I love you too, Kristoff.”

It’s strange, how saying something you’ve said to each other for so long can have a deeper, stronger meaning now. To have the one person you love say it to you, but not in letters, in words, with your name; it hits harder than any written words ever could. 

Tears spill over as Anna beams up at Kristoff, relief and excitement bubbling in her. It’s then that Anna seizes the moment, closing the space between them and kisses him. 

It’s chaste, a simple press of lips but it sends a shock through Anna like she’s never felt. She’s surprised him, can tell by how his body tenses under her hands, how his hand stills in hers. She goes to pull back, to give him a moment, when she feels his hand move from her cheek to the back of her head, fingers tangling into her hair as he pulls her back to him to kiss her once more.


	12. daily things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> learning daily chores...

“Have you named them?”

Kristoff chuckles, “No I haven’t.”

“And why not?”

He shrugs, “No reason to really.”

Anna pokes his side, “There is a reason, they need names.”

“I know,” He says, looking down at her, “You’ve told me once before.”

She pauses her antics, looking up at him slightly confused, “I have?”

He nods, “In a letter, once before. I mentioned I had a few chickens and your first question was if I’d named them.” He smirks at her, “You said nearly the same thing when I said I hadn’t.”

Anna blushes as she looks away, embarrassed by the thought that she didn’t remember such a conversation. Would he be hurt to know she couldn’t remember? “I’m sorry...I don’t..”

“Hey,” He squeezes her hand, willing her to look back to him, and she does, finding his eyes soft, always so soft when he looks at her, “It’s ok. It was a long time ago.” 

She returns the smile sheepishly, remembering the kiss they’d shared just moments ago and with him looking at her with his lopsided grin, how much she wanted to steal another.

Before she can even think to make a move, he nods over to the barn, “Come on then.”

“Can I still name them?”

“Only if you want to.”

She does, much to Kristoff’s teasing, and they were simple enough. Sunny for the yellow hen, Autumn for the brown one, Olaf for the smallest of the bunch, a fluffy, white hen, and Grumps for the Rooster.

“Grumps?”

“He tried to peck me.”

“Anna, you had seed in your hand.”

She shrugs, “He charged at me and tried to peck me, he’s a grump so he will be named Grump.”

Anna swears that the rooster glares at her as she leaves.

****

**~.~**

“He’ll try to get you to brush him longer, but he only needs a quick rub down. Nothing else. He just likes the attention, the big ham.”

Sven looks up at that, seeming to be offended by the name calling. He snorts at Kristoff, which sends a few bits of hay and slobber his way. Anna giggles as Kristoff groans while he wipes away the muck, Sven shaking his head as though he was laughing along with her.

“Nothing wrong with a little attention, is there Sven?” She says, scratching behind the creature's ears. The creature looks to her, smiling appreciatively. 

“You say that now, just watch, he’ll keep you here all day if you’re not careful.”

Anna hums, “I wouldn’t mind.” 

“I would.” Kristoff says, teasing. 

“And why is that?”

“Keeps you away from me.”

Anna blushes, watching as he takes the two steps towards her and wraps his arms around her waist loosely. She doesn’t wait then, standing on her tiptoes and leaning in. He meets her half way with another soft, tender kiss that makes Anna feel like she’s flying, soaring above the clouds. 

Sven doesn’t seem to enjoy the moment as much, as a loud grunt comes minutes (was it minutes?) later. 

****

****

~.~

“Have you ever thought about a goat? Or a sheep? Oh, or a cat?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It would be another animal to feed and take care of plus,” Kristoff says, “Sven gets easily jealous.”

“But the goat could eat the weeds and give him company. And a cat could keep the mice away!”

“True but…”

“And a sheep could give you wool! I can knit, a bit at least, Gerda taught me as much as she could and I can make you a sweater or OH! A blanket or even a hat, a new one.”

“I like my hat just fine, thank you.”

“How long have you had it?”

He shrugs.

“See! I could make a new one, a really soft one if there was a sheep.”

“Maybe,” Kristoff says, closing the barn door. “It’s not a bad idea.”

Anna smiles, raising up to kiss him on the cheek. “See, I have good ideas.”

“Never said you didn’t.” He teases. 

“Still, I have the best ideas.”

“That...remains to be seen.”

She giggles, leaning her head against his arm as they move towards the back of the cabin hand in hand. Another idea pops in her head, “Oh, how bout a pig?”

“Absolutely not.”

****

**~.~**

The garden, much like everything else here, is fairly simple. It sits behind the cabin, a neat little square with a few vegetables growing, some spices, and some flowers that Anna thinks may be weeds.

Still, it’s perfect. 

“I’ve always wanted a garden.” Anna says, running her hand along the tops of a few waist high crops that Kristoff said were corn. 

“You didn’t have one at the castle?”

Anna shakes her head, “Not like this. Our garden was more just the castle grounds. Some flowers planted around. All our food we bought from the village. It’s fine, of course, helped the village and the people but I always loved the idea of growing it myself.” 

There had been a few times Anna had mentioned such an idea to Gerda. Unfortunately, it would fall on deaf ears. Gerda, of course, had loved the idea but no one within the castle was as keen to it. It was another duty, another chore that no one wanted to do. Anna had nearly suggested she herself could tend it to, but again, it would be more teaching and learning before she could fully handle it on her own. 

Something that she knew no one would really want to assist with either. Still, the thought of getting her hands dirty, to tend to it during the day, to feel accomplished at the fact that she had achieved something was something she’d longed for. Would make her feel as thought she’d accomplished something for once.

Kristoff crosses his arms along the top of the hoe he’d brought along, laying his head on top of it as he eyes her, “Well, is there anything specific you want to grow?”

Anna shrugs, “I’m willing to grow anything really…”

“But?”

“...but I’ve always wanted to grow flowers.”

“Not surprised.”

Anna rolls her eyes at him, smirking, “Not a lot. Just...a few. Or one really.”

“Which one?”

“A sunflower.” Anna smiles, looking back to the small, sprouting cabbages. “We never had them growing at the castle, not often anyways. But Gerda always managed to snag one or two when she’d make trips to the village in the summer, bring them when she could for me. They’re my favorites.” 

Kristoff smiles at her, tilting his head, “They’re not the easiest to come by but...maybe next time I make a delivery, I can try to see what I can find. I’m sure someone in the village is selling seeds.”

Anna looks at him, smiling at the thought of her own sunflowers growing. Though the idea of him returning to Arendelle sparks a feel of dread deep within her. 

****

**~.~**

There’s not much laundry, but they decide to do it all the same. Something for Anna to learn, she says, to burn more time.

So they walk to the nearby river, Kristoff carrying the tub & washboard. 

There is a silence between them that’s comfortable, one that Anna feels no desire to break. Normally, any bit of silence has her on edge, uncomfortable by the stillness. At the moment, however, it’s nice. Nothing but the sound of the birds, the slight breeze rustingly the trees, the sound of rushing water in the distance. 

When they do arrive at the river, after showing Anna how to use the waterboard, they talk.

It’s as though they’ve known each other for years, which in hindsight they have, but the easiness of their conversation does not go unnoticed by her. 

The awkwardness between them has left, completely evaporated and leaving behind an air of ease and contentment. No, not content, happiness, joy. 

They talk of his week, what news Kristoff has heard in the village and the latest gossip. 

She shares, now that she’s able, what she can about the castle. He doesn’t have many questions, though Anna suspects he is holding some back out of respect, but it’s nice to finally be able to speak about it all the same. 

“How did you get the job at the castle anyways?”

“Bit of luck really.” Kristoff says, taking a shirt from her to wring out. “I’d just started, the new guy you could say and one of the older harvesters mentioned how a delivery was needed to the castle. He usually did it but he was too busy to make it. I overheard and volunteered.”

“Wanted to see the castle, huh?” She teased. 

He chuckled, “That and the money was good. Really good actually, better than most sales I make in the square.”

“And you just kept going.” 

Kristoff shrugged, wringing the shirt once more, “After that, I kept getting the requests and handling it so it became my job. The guy didn’t seem to care, took a duty off his plate I think, and I was glad to do so.”

“Me too,” Anna says with a smile, glancing up at him as he blushed just so, “Don’t know what I’d done without you honestly.” Anna said, scrubbing her dress against the washboard. “Was always nice to talk to someone outside the castle for a change.”

He pauses after she answers, a turn from the ease and flow they’d had for a while now. It makes Anna look up, seeing him stare into the water, shirt still in his hand. 

“Kristoff?”

“You said you were lonely.” He says, keeping his eyes to the river, “I knew it had to be hard, but now, knowing you were in that huge castle alone like that for so long…I had no idea...”

Anna pauses her own work, going to him and taking the shirt gently from his hands. She places it in the bucket before taking the shirts place, having his arms wrapped around her, her hands on his chest. 

“It’s ok,” She murmurs, smiling gently at him, “I’m ok.”

Kristoff smiles meekly at her, a storm in his eyes that Anna has not seen before but one that does not bring her much concern. It’s not one of turmoil or anger, but hurt and sadness. His hands clutch her dress, his arms growing tighter around her so she is as close as she can be to him now, his head leaning against her own. “You’ll never have to live like that, ever again Anna.” He whispers, a secret made between them, “I swear it.”

Another promise, one that Anna knows he will keep as he’s already kept many before. She bites her lip before nodding her head, words escaping her. She lets her kiss speak for her, pouring as much love into it as she can. His hand moves to the back of her head, fingers tangling into her hair as his other hand squeezes her hip. Her own hands find the nape of his neck, nails grazing softly along his scalp. 

She could do this forever, she thinks, kissing him, being with him. With all she has, she hopes she can.


	13. inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> change is inevitable..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give a huge THANK YOU to all you lovely people who have found this fic. I appreciate and love every kudos & comments so much and thank you thank you thank you for all the love. keeps me going :)

Days go by, and then a week. 

A routine has been made between them, one that came easily. He awakens before her, something he teases her on relentlessly with a smirk, and makes breakfast for them both. 

Anna will tend to the chickens while Kristoff gets hay for Sven. They tend to the garden together, pulling weeds, watering and observing the plants to make sure they grow good and strong. They make a new row just for her future flowers, ready for new seeds whenever they come. 

She’ll watch as he tends to his sled, help where she can as he makes a fence for the chickens. They both tidy the cabin when it needs it, sweeping and dusting, washing what needs washing. 

Most days they’ll finish early, leaving them to their own devices. 

Kristoff took it upon himself to teach her how to make bread one afternoon. She’d failed the first time, resulting in a hard, flat brick that even the chickens struggled to eat. He’d tried a piece, and though she could tell it was an absolute disaster he still told her with his lopsided smile that it was a good first try. Her second and third were much more successful, merely four pieces left now to show for it. 

Other days they sit by the river, feet soaking in the cool mountain water. Sometimes they sit in silence, other times they chat about anything and everything. More often than not, they find themselves tangled together, kissing each other senseless as they lay on the river bank. 

Some days they’ll walk, hand in hand, down paths that Kristoff knows well. Just yesterday he had led her to a small valley nearby where wild flowers were blooming. They’d laid in the flowers, holding each other, talking, kissing, watching the clouds, kissing some more. Anna continued to find stray pieces of grass and weed tangled within her hair.

Evenings become her favorite time. It’s quiet, still within the cabin, nothing but the sound of the crackling fire. They always find themselves sitting in front of the fireplace, a blanket shared between them, Anna leaning into Kristoff’s lap as he holds her in his arms. It’s comforting, soothing to rest in his arms, to feel his chest move as he breathes, to feel his lips against her brow as she dozes. 

Before, it used to bother Anna to go to bed early. Especially if she’d had a day where she’d done nothing, it felt as though she was extremely lazy for finding sleep so early. Now though, finding sleep early is rewarding. Something she deserves after doing and achieving so much during the day. 

It’s an added bonus when she finds herself nearly asleep in his arms, the feel of him lifting and carrying her to the bed, a soft murmur of ‘I love you’ the last thing she hears before sleep overcomes her. 

****

**~.~**

Something is different today, Anna can sense it. There is an odd air of tension it seems between them now, one that wishes to snap.

He’d been quiet all morning, making Anna uneasy. 

They’ve been so comfortable with each other, a surprising alternative to the awkwardness she was so sure they’d have to get through. Now, it seems, they’ve taken a step back. 

As the morning wares on, she realizes it is not an awkward tension that lies, it’s pure tension and she isn’t sure why.

Kristoff avoids her gaze, not wanting to meet her eyes. She’d watched, as she fed the kitchens as he murmured something to Sven, something she couldn’t hear and the look on his face created a solid form of dread sitting in her stomach. 

Something was wrong, and whatever it was he was keeping it from her. 

He continues to stay silent during their come over of the garden, only murmuring a yes at her offering to go to the river.

It’s then, on their way down, that she finally snaps, completely done with it all.

“Enough of this.” She demands, pulling her hand from his, coming to a stand still on the path. He stops then, a step in front of her. He looks at her confused and it only makes Anna more angry. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie.” She says, arms crossed now as she glares. “You’ve acted distant all day, you won’t even look at me.” At that, Kristoff’s shoulders slump, his confusion falling from his face. “What is it Kristoff?”

The silence annoys Anna but she fights the urge to say anything. She can tell that he is thinking, working through what it is he has to say. 

Though the words seemed to come easy when writing, speaking them was a whole other thing for Kristoff. He needed time, a moment sometimes to really get his words in order to be sure he said the right thing.

This was most definitely one of those times. 

“I have to go back to Arendelle.” 

He looks at her as he speaks, regret in his eyes, worry on his face and the dread that was sitting in Anna’s stomach grows in size, enough to make her nauseous now. 

She knew it was coming, feared when the moment would come but it was too soon. They needed more time, just a little more time. 

“Why?” Anna manages to say, a lump forming in her throat. 

“I have a business to run.” He says, “I have deliveries to make that I have to tend to. Plus, we are running low on supplies I...I don’t have a choice Anna.”

Anna nods, looking down at her shoes, “Ok.” She says, clearing her throat as she looks back up to him with a small smile, “So a day's trip, then?”

“Anna…”

She knew it wasn’t a one day trip. He tended to deliveries on the daily, having multiple shipments to make throughout the week. The fact he’d been able to put them off this long was a miracle in of itself. She wondered how much it hurt him, how much it cost to take so much time away to be with her as it was. To be away from potential income, from money he very much needed. 

Anna doesn’t realize she’s begun to cry until he comes to her, wiping his thumb gently along her cheeks to wipe her tears away. 

“I won’t be long.” He whispers, “I’ll try to be as quick as I can.”

Anna shakes her head, closing her eyes, “That’s not what I’m worried about.” She opens her eyes to find him confused once more, and her lip wobbles as she speaks, “The princess...I’m missing, Kristoff.”

It’s then realization hits him, his eyes widening in understanding. 

The princess of Arendelle was gone, missing in the night. There was no doubt a search would be made, an effort to find her. Especially with a prince on his way to retrieve his bride in weeks to come. 

They could be questioning every villager, every merchant, every sailor and ice harvester alike. Including Kristoff, especially Kristoff. No doubt word would get around that they were friends, that they may have been close. They’d want to ask him, talk to him, see what he knew. 

Would he be able to lie? To keep the secret that waited for him at his cabin from them? 

Anna had faith he would but the risk was still there and so was the guilt that he would have to risk this all for her. 

What if they wanted him to come to the castle, to be questioned by the Queen, her sister?

What if they’d questioned Gerda, able to manipulate the truth from her?

What if they were just waiting for him to arrive, already knowing he was a part of it somehow, to take him away, to lock him up never to see daylight again?

What if…

It’s then she feels his thumb brush of her lip, realizing that she had spoken all her thoughts aloud through her tears. 

She looks up at him, his eyes so soft, always so soft for her and it makes her heart hurt at the idea of never seeing those eyes again.

“No more ‘what if’s’ ok?” She nods, tears still falling freely. He smiles softly down at her, “If we want to keep suspicions off of me, I have to go back to what I did before. I have to go back or they’ll know something is up.”

“But what about..”

“I asked for this week a while ago.” He says, knowing what she was going to question. “They won’t suspect anything from it.”

“Are you sure?”

Kristoff sighs, his smile falling and he leans down to her. He kisses her, soft and gently, his tongue running along her lower lip. Not for the first or last time, a spark shoots up Anna’s spine at the feeling.

She grabs hold of his wrist, trying to force herself to focus on his lips, on his kiss, on the feel of him and nothing else. 

He pulls back, just enough but still leaning his head against hers. 

“I knew what I was getting into the moment I said yes.” Kristoff says, “I knew the risk, and I still took them, I’m still willing to take them. For you Anna, I’ll do it for you.”

The tears come again, forming in her eyes at his words. Anna goes to apologize, opening her mouth to speak but he shakes his head.

“No, don’t you dare apologize.”

She can’t help but smile, trying to fight back the laugh that wants to escape at the notion he could already read her so well. 

Instead, she bites her lip, and says, “Just come back to me, please.”

This he didn’t expect, as Kristoff pauses. He looks at her, Anna nearly losing herself in his eyes before he finally speaks. 

“Anna,” Another promise, another one he will make that Anna knows he will keep. It’s comforting but also worrisome at how many promises he has made her. More promises to keep, more promises to potentially be broken. “I promise, swear, that I will always come back to you.”

The rest of the day goes as any other. They sit by the river, finishing the loaf of bread and eating apples they’d found the day before. 

The tension is gone, though the dread sits firmly within Anna. She hides it well, laughing and smiling that she nearly fools herself that everything was ok. 

It’s when the evening comes, as they sit by the fire that the fear returns at full force. Anna can’t help but wonder if Kristoff can hear how her heart hammers in her chest, how she has watched him all day. How she has tried to engrain the image of him into her mind just in case. 

She doesn’t doze off by the fire tonight, instead she is awake as he carries her to the bed. Instinctively, she curls up to his side, wrapping her arm around him as much as she can. She nuzzles her head into his chest, willing herself to remember how he feels, how he smells. 

Kristoff falls asleep first, the hand that was stroking her back stilling and his soft snores following soon after.

Anna stays awake, moving her head gently to look up at him. 

She takes in the view, the image of him so at peace, and wills herself to remember. 

As she falls asleep, she hopes, prays to whatever gods there are that they will allow him to keep his promise.


	14. day trip

Morning seems to come too quickly, the sound of chirping birds bringing Anna out of her restless slumber. 

Thankfully, Kristoff has yet to move. He still lies beneath her, his chest rising and falling under her but she knows he is awake. It’s confirmed as such when she feels a hand come and begin to stroke her head, his finger moving through her hair. 

Seems she is not the only one being selfish this morning, wanting the sun to rise slower or not at all. 

Too soon, a few rays of sun begin to peak through the windows, bringing a glow around the cabin. 

Anna wraps her arms around her chest tightly, burying her face against him, hoping it may be enough to convince him to stay. 

It’s not. 

She feels him sigh, placing his hand on the back of her head but she can’t bring herself to look at him. She can’t. 

“I have to.”

Anna can’t help the small whimper that escapes, a lump forming in her throat. His other hand moves to her arm, pulling gently to bring her up and up to him. 

Finally, regretfully, she looks to him, seeing the same look of sadness and fear reflected in his eyes. 

He brings her close, stealing a kiss from her, his lips moving slow and easy against her own. He is savoring the moment as much as she is. It’s then she understands, realizes that he is of course just as terrified, just as worried as she is. 

The risk is high, he knows this and accepts it, but the idea of never seeing each other again shakes them both. 

It’s almost a comfort, to know she is not alone in her worry, but knowing her mountain of a man was just as terrified as she was made the dred sit heavy within her. 

Too soon Kristoff pulls back, ending their kiss, resting his head back against the pillow. Anna looks down at him, now propping herself on her elbows. 

It’s a view she wants to see again and again, one she can not fathom being taken from her now after finally making it here.

There is something Kristoff wants to say, can see it in his eyes but he stays silent as he slowly moves to stand, leaving Anna sitting in their bed. 

She watches as he prepares, knees drawn close to her chest at the site. When he is done, he still moves to prepare her a small breakfast. 

He sits the small plate of toast and jam beside her. It’s surprising to hear her stomach growl as her stomach is in complete knots. 

He sits beside her, wrapping both his arms around her. She leans against him, closing her eyes to take in what could be their final moment. 

“I promise to be back before sundown.”

His whisper makes the tears come fast and heavy, falling down her cheeks as he pulls away. 

He kisses her once more, the lopsided grin sits uneasily on his face. It’s fake, not reaching his eyes and Anna suspects it’s hurting him too having to leave her. 

Finally, sadly, he moves to the door and with one final smile he looks to her. “I love you.” He calls, and the sun gives away the tears that are forming in his own eyes.

“I love you too.” Anna says, trying to smile in return. It’s wobbly, as fake as his own, and with the click of the door he is gone. 

It’s then she falls back into the bed and sobs. 

****

~.~

Anna awakens a while later, nose stuffy and eyes red from tears. She is slow to move, taking her time to get ready for the day.

It’s eerie doing it alone, to not have the familiar banter she is used to now echoing throughout the cabin, to not have the feel of a large, steadying hand spanning her back, working to tie her dress. Now, it’s silent, empty. 

The toast he left for her is now cold, but she makes herself eat. He’d want her to, would want her to take care of herself and she will do the best she can till he returns. 

It takes a little more time to tidy the cabin than usual. The shelves he can usually reach are too tall for her, having to stand on top the chair to reach them to dust. She removes the ash and brings in more firewood for the fire for tonight, needing three trips instead of his usual one. 

The sun is bright, warm on her cheeks as she comes to the barn. She feeds the chickens, Grump surprisingly calm this morning. She has half a mind to wonder if they know, that today is not an easy one for her. 

Sven’s absence is also glaring, the large reindeer usually so quick to come up to her and nuzzle against her. 

Too quickly she tends to the garden, nothing much needed. There are no clothes needed to be washed and as much as Anna wants to try, she simply stares at the chicken fence in progress and decides against working on it to help Kristoff. 

With that, she has a whole day left to do whatever she wants. The river isn’t far, she could easily go down and wade within the shallows if she wanted. There are two books in her things she could read, bask in the sun on the front porch of the cabin. 

Instead, she just sits, staring off into the forest and at the worn path that leads away from her. 

Kristoff was no doubt already in the village. 

Had he been stopped at the edge of town? Searched and questioned about what he potentially knew about the Princess’s disappearance?

Would they wait for him to make his delivery to the castle, question his timely absence during the same time as her departure? 

Would a soldier do it, or would Elsa make an appearance and do it herself? Trying to show true worry over the unknown of where he sister is, hiding the fact her newly set deal was falling apart now?

It’s a bit of gratification, knowing that Elsa’s scheme had completely fallen apart now. Anna wasn’t a bit sorry, happy that such a selfish idea imploded on her sister. What she gets for not even thinking of the lives it would effect, what the true cost would be. 

She imagines that the entire staff would be questioned on what they knew, Gerda being the first. Anna knew full well Gerda wouldn’t bend, standing tall against any and all questioning. No doubt she’d get the harshest round of questions as she was the closest to the princess. 

Anna could see it now, Gerda standing smugly against her sister, denying up and down that she knew anything at all. 

Bless her, if there was anyone she missed within that castle it was her. 

Still, there was the possible chance someone knew something. Saw her sneak away, saw a letter she wrote, a villager seeing them escape through the night not realizing the significance till news broke of her disappearance. 

Then again, would news have broken out? The idea again came across Anna’s mind that potentially, her sister had decided to keep the news quiet. Hiding the fact that the crown Princess had gone missing, disappearing into the night. Last thing she needed was word to get out of such, for it to get back to the Southern Isles.

Even if that was the case, Kristoff would no doubt be questioned as he was a usual visitor to the castle. 

With a groan, Anna throws her face in her hands, hating that her mind was allowing her to think of all the worst case scenarios. 

It’s no surprise when the tears come, Anna completely overwhelmed by it all: the loneliness, the emptiness, the fear.

She sobs, shoulders shaking, her cries echoing into the forest for no one but the birds to hear. 

****

~.~

She’s making bread, distracting her thoughts as best she can by focusing on the directions Kristoff had told her before.

It’s not hard to remember, but still she makes herself focus on every task, every ingredient, every movement to think about anything other than him. 

She’s so focused, so pulled into kneading the dough that she nearly misses it. Just out of the corner of her eye she catches it, movement coming through the trees.

Anna doesn’t hesitate, pulling as much dough off her fingers and not willing to wait to see the familiar sled come into view to run outside. 

She wipes her hand on her apron, running quickly to the door but her hand pauses on the doorknob.

The thought of it potentially not being Kristoff comes to mind.

If they were searching the village, no doubt they would search nearby areas too. What if it was a soldier? A group of soldiers scoping the area for her?

Her hand shakes now at the thought, of opening the door to be face to face with a familiar green uniformed man. 

It’s not till she hears it, his voice calling her name that she throws caution to the wind and barrels out the door. 

There he stands beside his wagon, chest heaving as though he ran up the path himself, disregarding the wagon entirely and barreling towards his home. 

_Their_ home. 

Anna stands for a moment, smiling so big her cheeks burn as she takes in the site of him. 

Him, Kristoff, back and smiling at her with so much love that it makes her heart swell. 

She runs, leaping into his arms as he spins her around and he holds her close, both laughing in complete and utter relief.


	15. reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> worries & self doubt

“They’re looking for you.”

The reality of Kristoff’s words hits Anna harder than she expected.

In hindsight, she knew they would most likely be looking for her, she was the princess after all. Yet to hear it said aloud, to be told that they were in fact doing so is something different entirely. 

They’re sitting in the field, coming to have a quiet evening picnic for dinner to celebrate his return home in a sense. It had been Anna’s suggestion, one she wasn’t sure he’d be in favor of as it seemed silly but he’d smiled at her, her favorite lopsided grin and had agreed in earnest. 

She’s leaning against his side, his arm draped around her as they watch the sun set and Anna keeps her eyes to the setting sun, not wanting to show Kristoff the fear that sits within her. 

“Ivar found me as soon as I came into town, pulled me aside to tell me what was going on.” Kristoff pauses, taking a breath and sighing as he continued, “Guards have been questioning everyone since the day you left. A few homes have even been searched. Rumor has it they’ve even sent letters to ships that were docked that night to return for questioning.”

Anna already knows the answer before she even asks, “Did they stop you?”

“Yes,” he says, “they’re stopping anyone coming into the town too. Don’t think they realized who I was but they asked me my business, if I was local, where I was heading, where I was the night you disappeared.”

“Did they say why?”

“Oddly enough, no. They haven’t told anyone why they’re questioning everyone, keeping your disappearance a secret.”

“And the people?”

“More annoyed than anything really, especially Ivar.” That makes Kristoff chuckle, “Said it was bad for business, frightening the town folks from even wanting to stroll the streets. Keep people away from buying our ice but we fared well enough.”

“They’re...scared?”

“Some are, understandably so. Guards have been patrolling the streets more than usual, questioning anyone they come across that they don’t recognize. It’s intimidating, to some at least. Think it’s more the secret of it all, not telling them why they’re doing what they’re doing. The unknown makes people nervous.”

Anna hums in response, still staring off at the now changing sky. Her heart is racing, guilt gripping her heart tightly. 

The town was now being turned over, people becoming scared all because of her. She can imagine, see it in her mind, the guards patrolling the village, questioning all they come upon, intimidating every villager that resided in Arendelle. They wouldn’t do so in kind, they’d be harsh, upfront, demanding answers from all they talked to. 

The thought of them searching a home, tearing it apart to find any clue of her breaks her. The town didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve to be made to live in fear because of her choice. 

They were innocent, having no clue of her actions nor even if they had seen her, knew who she even was. They’d hardly made public outings in the last few years, it was completely possible the villagers had not a clue what Anna even looked like. 

That wouldn’t deter the soldiers from searching and their harsh form of intimidation, creating a thick air of tension and fear within Arendelle.

“This is all my fault.” She says, barely a whisper. She isn’t sure if Kristoff hears her, hopes he hadn’t but his arm tightens around her. 

She knows what’s to come, what he will try to say before he even speaks, “Anna…”

“It is.” She says, looking down to her lap, still unable to look at him. “They’re...they’re scaring the townspeople over my selfish choice.”

“It wasn’t a selfish--”

“But it was.” Anna cries, feeling the tears beginning to form, “I left because...because I wanted my own life, to make my own choices. To be able to choose who I wanted to love and not forced into a loveless life.” She takes a shaky breath, “I never considered, truly thought about the repercussions of it all, of what my sister could do I…”

“You deserve your own life as much as anyone else does, Anna.”

“But at what cost?” She knows she is being too harsh, blaming herself too much for this but it doesn’t sit well with her. The guilt builds, constricting tighter around her racing heart. “For the people of Arendelle to fear their own leaders, to fear the ones that are supposed to protect them?”

“Not everyone is afraid, most are just confused.”

“But that’s still my fault. If I wouldn’t have left, if I would’ve stayed--”

“You’d be miserable.”

“Arendelle would be at peace, this wouldn’t be happening.”

“You can not take full blame for what is happening Anna, especially when it is not entirely on you.”

“How is it not all on me?”

“Your sister is keeping everything quiet, not wanting news to spread of your disappearance at the chance it will make it across the sea. Is that not selfish of her too?” Anna closes her eyes as he feels him move her, lifting her up and onto his lap, holding her against her chest. “If she is the leader she claims to be, why not let her people know of what’s transpired? Why keep secrets from her people in favor of confusing them, of making them scared?” She grips onto his shirt, trying to hold his words as the truth. “Your sister is risking the wellbeing of your kingdom, of your people all to save face from the truth getting out and getting to the Southern Isles. She’s buying time in hopes you’ll return to seal the deal she’s made.”

“I should’ve left a letter.” Anna says softly, opening her eyes and watching his hand on her arm, how he lightly graces his fingers along her arm in comfort. 

Kristoff kisses her temple, “Maybe, but I doubt it would’ve done much.”  
They sit in silence, the sun setting before them until it disappears into the darkening sky. Colors of all shades are above them and around them, encircling them as they sit within the wild flowers. Birds are still chirping their songs, but crickets begin to join them, cicadas buzzing louder than them all. A few stars begin to appear, lightly shining in the dark blue sky.

Anna feels Kristoff’s breath along her neck, and feels as he moves to rest his head against the top of her own. 

“Do you…” he pauses, and Anna waits patiently for him to continue, “Do you regret your choices?”

That makes Anna sit up, moving to straddle his lap to be able to look down on him fully. 

The movement surprises Kristoff and takes him back. Though behind the shocked expression, Anna can see the hurt and unsureness in his eyes; the pain and fear that she had mistakenly put there by speaking on her own self doubts. 

It was not on purpose, she knows this, but just like she questions herself and so many things, he himself has the same self doubts. 

The sadness makes her heart aches. No matter the outcome, the waves that may come from her choice, never in her life would Anna regret choosing him. Choosing the life with the man she loved fully and deeply.

Anna wants to tell him so, wants to speak such words to him but they escape her. She is rendered speechless, unsure how to convey how she feels in words alone. 

So she lets her lips talk for her: finding his lips and kissing him deeply, letting her love for him spill in the way her lips move along his, how her hands run up his neck to his scalp, how she hums at the feel of his tongue meeting hers. 

He holds her tight, arms wrapped now around her waist, hands spanning her small back and not for the first time she feels how large his hands are in comparison to her. 

She pulls back, panting slightly as she looks into his brown eyes. Cupping his face, Anna runs her thumb across his cheek before she speaks, “I will never, ever regret choosing you.”

Kristoff smiles at her, his hands squeezing her waist in affection. “And I never will either.”

Anna smiles, the tension slowly leaving her, “I’m sorry if I ever made you think…”

Kristoff shakes his head, his blonde shaggy hair moving with him, “You didn’t.” He moves his hand, one of them coming to cup the back of her head, “You are a caring person Anna. You love and care deeply for all, I know this.” Her smile is wider now, butterflies stirring within her at how softly he says his words. Words only meant for her. 

“No one more so than you.” 

That brings a blush to his cheeks, one that makes Anna giggle at the sight. When she stops, he speaks again, “I love you, Anna.” He says it so softly, so full of love that Anna wants to cry at the sound. “Big heart and all.”

At that, Kristoff pokes her side, tickling her as Anna falls back in laughter. Kristoff holds her steady, keeping her close to his chest as she screams in laughter at his touch.

He stops, Anna slowly catching her breath and cherishing the sound of his deep chuckles. To hear him laugh, to see him smile so wide is better than any sunset Anna has ever seen.

“I love you too, Kristoff.” She says, leaning back to him now. “And thank you.”

He runs a hand through her hair, smiling at her, “Always.”


	16. late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unanswered questions..

Not for the first time, Anna finds herself thankful and amazed at how easy things are between her and Kristoff.

From the start, when they’d decided to meet, to run away from it all, she’d expected things to be awkward. A tension lying between them in the form of a thick smog, heavy and uneasy, that would take so much time to disappear. 

Anna had imagined, before knowing the identity of her lover, that things would move slow, painfully so. Neither wanting to push boundaries, to make the other uncomfortable, both being unsure of their movements and what to say to the other. Which really, is silly when you think of all the things they’d spoken about in the letters over the years but it’s easier to write words, to write out your feelings than to speak them openly. 

The moment Anna had seen Kristoff, the moment she’d realized he was in fact the one behind the letters, her K, her love, she mentally prepared for the awkwardness to settle in. 

For a moment it had, the air had been thick with tension and shock, both standing stock still in the lantern light. 

She was sure, then, that the relationship would take much more time to build, for walls to be broken down between them; for the comfort they’d built within letters to settle openly, for the walls of tension to collapse. 

Anna was an open person to a default sure, willing to talk to anyone after so much time left alone in an empty castle. Her walls and barriers could come crumbling down easy, but Kristoff? He was different, always having walls from the moment they’d met years before.

Some parts had begun to crumble, to crack as more time went on but they still remained tall and firm, unmoving no matter how much Anna pestered him.

Though he may be her K, the one who spoke so freely on his love for her, how much he cared and wanted to be with her, he was also Kristoff who was closed off to most. Rough around the edges, a grump in a sense who trusted very few after such a rough upbringing. 

So it had been surprising that with a large smile, Kristoff had hugged her, letting his wall begin to fall and the awkward tension lying in wake to fall with it. 

It had been then that Anna knew this would be completely different and not at all how she had imagined. 

There had been moments when the awkwardness crept in, sure. That night for example, Kristoff had been unsure to even place an arm around her. 

Now he moved freely, confidently, no hesitation or worry in his movements. In her own right, she spoke openly, no longer afraid to hold back her thoughts, to speak her mind as she pleased.

More often than not, the awkwardness would follow when kisses became too heated, too intense for them both, hands moving over as much of the other as they could. They couldn’t touch enough skin, feel enough of the other, kissing for as long as they could without coming back for air. On many occasions Anna found herself in his lap, her legs on either side of his own, losing herself to his touch as he kissed his way down her neck.

They would pull back though, always stopping before it would get too far, both blushing and gasping and oh, how Anna longed for the day they never stopped, when they kept going. 

But Kristoff was an honest man, so sweet and good that he’d never push, never make the move for more and Anna knew she’d have to be the one to do so. 

Someday. 

For now, though, she’d wait. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sure, oh gods no, she was surprised at how sure she was, how she hadn’t even hesitated at the thought of being with him that way. 

It was more of wanting to savor this, what they had now, not wanting to rush anything. They had time, more than enough now Anna thinks that there would be another day for that.

Till then, it would be shy giggles after hot, full kisses, and bright blushing faces as they moved off one another, untangling their hands from each other's hair and garments. The awkward tension that comes after would, like most times, disappear as quickly as it came.

They speak without hesitation, smile widely and laugh loudly, tease relentlessly, and touch without so much of a second thought. 

Even now, with Kristoff holding her close to his chest, rubbing his fingers idly up and down her back as they lay in his--their bed. There is sureness in his movements, in his touch, in the way he holds her close, kisses her with such fierceness. 

There is no doubt, no apprehension; just love. Pure, strong, powerful love that makes Anna smile. 

****

**~.~**

He’s late.

The thought is one Anna had fought to avoid, fought to push down and out of her mind. 

There is no fighting it now with the sun set, the darkness creeping into the mountain side. The fire burns, crackling within the cabin. 

Anna can’t remember when she started crying, if it was before the sun had fallen or as night had crept into the cabin, forcing her to light the fire. But at some point, the tears had begun to fall, dropping to the floor as she wept.

She sits now staring at the flames, wrapped in the too large fur pellet that he is meant to be entangled under with her. The stew sits untouched, still warm but quickly going cold. She’d wanted to wait to eat it, and wanted to surprise him at the fact she’d remembered an old recipe Gerda had taught her. 

It had tasted heavenly, making Anna hum in delight when she dipped a spoon in to try. A fresh loaf of bread sits beside it, ready to be torn apart and dipped within the stew. Anna had all but drooled at the smells, of the baking bread and boiling stew, that she’d had to walk outside to keep herself from diving in.

Now, the smell of both makes her stomach turn, a solid weight of knots sitting in her chest.   
She keeps waiting, hoping to hear the familiar sound of hooves approaching, to maybe hear him call out to Sven in excitement. To hear anything, anything at all to let her know he was home. 

But the night is still, the fire the only sound and she sobs openly now, the tears falling faster as more time passes. 

The fear settled in quickly, engulfing her and making her gasp for breath. It holds tightly to her heart, creating horrid thoughts of what could have become of Kristoff. 

So many different scenarios, so many worst cases that it only makes Anna sob harder. 

She buries herself into the fur, letting it catch her tears as they fall, muffling her painful sobs that wrack her body. 

It was only a matter of time, she thinks, berating herself for being so careless, for not worrying as much as she should have. She had been at first, so worried and thankful every time he came through the door. Looking back now, she knows he became too comfortable, too sure that he would always come home. 

**“I will always come back to you.”**

He’d told her, he promised her. But it is hard to keep promises, let alone one so strong as that one.

They should’ve been more careful, had thought things through but now it was too late. Who knew where Kristoff was, what had become of him. If the guards had caught on, if Elsa had realized somehow he was involved, if he’d been ratted out by someone within the castle; she’d never know. 

She curls in on herself, moving to lay down as her body is too exhausted, too weak to stay up anymore. 

If he was here, she would lean into his chest, sigh happily as he kissed the top of her head. There would be no tears, no fear weighing heavy within her; it would just be them, holding onto each other in peace.

Anna regrets many things, one particular question she’d been too shy to ask, too nervous to inquire. Now, she may never get the chance and the realization makes her want to scream. 

The last thing she thinks, as sleep overcomes her is if only, _if only._

****

**~.~**

Anna awakens suddenly, unsure what has brought her out of her restless slumber.

She is still on the floor, the fire still burning but not as bright, showing that she’d been asleep for some time. 

She blinks slowly, not daring to move as she lies there, eyes puffy and nose stuffy from her crying.

Then she hears it, the unmistakable sound of the door creaking and she realizes she awoke to the sound of the door opening as she now hears it shut. 

Anna sits up, turning to find Kristoff looking at her with so much worry, his brows creased in concern. He moves to her, mouth opening with what is sure to be an apology but Anna doesn’t wait. 

She moves, running to him and slamming into his chest, tears coming once again. His arms wrap around her, his face buried in her hair and as she cries, she hears him repeating over and over and over, 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Anna pushes back, smiling as she is filled with complete relief at the sight of him, bringing her hands to the back of his neck to pull him down and down till her lips find his. 

She’s desperate, pressing fully against him, moving her lips forcefully against his own, her hand grabbing hold of his hair. 

They’ve been like this before, desperate with want but always quick to push back, to stop without going too far, Kristoff always the one to pull back first. 

Anna decides though, as she moans at the feel of his tongue on her lips, his hands grasping her waist tightly and entangling into her hair, that there was no stopping.

Not anymore. 

She would never go another day regretting never asking, never being able to know what if. 

All her life she never inquired about things, never pushed to get what she wanted as she didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. Left pondering in her room alone at night wondering what if she had, what if she’d spoken up.

Old Anna would have stayed quiet, too afraid to speak her mind and her wants & needs. But that was then, this was now and now, Anna knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn’t going to sit back quietly either.

She wanted Kristoff, wholly and fully, she wanted to be with him and every way she could. 

Kristoff moves to kiss down her neck, finding the spot he’s come to learn always brings a sweet moan from Anna. As he sucks and kisses his way down, Anna brings her hands to his chest, and with shaky hands moves down slowly, ever so slowly, grazing her nails as she does. She stops when she finds the bottom of his shirt, and as she moans once more at the feel of his teeth biting lightly on her neck, she tucks her hands underneath and presses them on his bare chest. 

This makes Kristoff pause his exploration, pulling back slowly and Anna’s heart begins to race. 

This was it, it was now or never as he looks down at her with a quizzical look. Anna swears she can see the same storm brewing in his eyes that was sure to be reflected in her own, and it gives her courage to finally speak.

“Make love to me?”


	17. finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first time..

For the first time since seeing Kristoff, Anna thinks he looks almost boyish. The surprise look on his face, his eyes wide, mouth agape slightly at the questions she has left hung in the air. 

His hands have stilled, one sitting upon her waist while the other still rests at her shoulder, tangled in her long hair. He is completely frozen to the spot, jaw moving slightly as though he is trying to muster words but nothing seems to come. 

Anna can’t help the smile that comes, the small giggle that escapes at Kristoff swallowing before finally speaking.

“I…” his voices cracks, he coughs, “...what?”

Anna’s smile softens, her hands running softly along his neck, up to the base of his scalp and feeling his hair between her fingers. “I said,” she nearly whispers, “make love to me?”

She stands on her tiptoes now, seeing if somehow the new height will add to her seducing. It doesn’t seem to do much as Kristoff still stares, licking his lips before speaking once more, 

“Anna…”

“Please.” Anna says, nearly pleading, “Kristoff I...I can’t go another day not knowing, of wondering what if…”

Kristoff sighs, his hand that sat within her hair moving to cup her face. Anna can still see the storm in his eyes, though not near as strong as it had been moments before. Still, it’s as though it sits in wait, wanting to brew but waiting for the moment to bloom. 

“Anna.” He says, so tender and soft, “Anna…” 

For a moment, a brief moment, Anna worries he may deny her. If the reason he always stopped, always pulled away was not from not wanting to push her. Instead that he did not want her, he did not want to be with her in that way. 

Anna begins to think, to find the words to say if that becomes the case, building up the strength to fight back the tears if he says no. She would respect it, of course, but the notion he does not want her would sit so incredibly heavy with her. 

“Anna…” He says once more, leaning in till their foreheads touch. Her name is barely a whisper, said as though it is a secret just between them and when they stay like this, foreheads together and breathing in so close, the world could be burning and all Anna would see was Kristoff. 

She can see every faint freckle across his nose, the small bags beneath his eyes, a scar going down his forehead above his left eye. More importantly, she sees the storm, the one now beginning to stir and brew larger with every breath he takes. 

“Are you sure?”

Anna can’t help the gasp, the excitement that is sure to grace her face at his question. She bites her lip, trying to hold back the large smile that wants to bloom and nods. 

“Anna,” A whisper now, a secret between them, “Anna, I love you. I love you more than anything but if you...you aren’t sure..I..I don’t want…”

“Kristoff,” she interrupts gently, grabbing hold of his hand. It makes her heart race at his tenderness, at the slight fear hidden behind his words. She knows why he’s afraid, understands what this next step will mean for her. 

Maidenhood had always seemed like an odd thing to Anna, the concept seemingly thrown vastly out of proportion, in her mind anyways. To see a woman as sacred, as only being whole by merely just that and nothing else seemed utterly ridiculous to be quite frank. So many women casted aside through history, scratched from history books, shamed in romance novels that Anna had poured through over the years of her solitude. Every time it happened, Anna would grow annoyed, nearly frustrated at such a concept.

Why shame a woman for giving something that is hers to give away? Why chastise someone for doing what she wants, for making her choice? Why hold a woman to such a standard when the men in the same books would have several mistresses and scandals?

It was ridiculous, Anna had decided one late afternoon within the castle, and therefore she wouldn’t believe such nonsense. Come what may, the rumors and harsh words, but this was hers and hers to give alone. 

No one could judge her for her choices, for choosing a man she loved wholly and deeply. Who in turn loved her with everything he had, had shown such with risking his own life to help her get to him. 

She sees it now, the love radiating from his eyes, the love that has him wanting to be sure, wanting her to be ok with all of it. 

It makes her smile, a lump forming in her throat from the sight, and says, “I have never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Kristoff stares at her, a small smile gracing his lips and he swallows before leaning forward to capture her lips again. 

This time, the touch is soft, tender as his touch, moving slowly along her own lips. The heat is there still, pooling slowly deep in Anna’s belly, but the tenderness that comes from his touch, from his kiss nearly makes her heart burst. 

They kiss for a time, still slow and languid, until Anna grows a bit impatient. 

Moving her hands once more to his shirt, she moves her hands beneath it, pushing up and up till she feels his heart beneath her hands. 

Kristoff moves back then, arms moving to remove the vest that blocks her movements, then stills. It was her pace to set, and Anna was going to be sure to take her time, to absorb every moment she could of this. 

When her hands find his shoulders, his shirt following close behind as it bunches up with her motions, she licks her lips at the site before her. She’s seen his chest many times now, but never has she savored it as she does now. 

Kristoff moves, pulling the shirt over his head and gods watching the muscles move causes Anna to gulp. 

She stares, still staring when she moves back to him, placing her hands back against his chest as Kristoff dips his head. His lips find her neck, pressing soft kisses down and down, moving till he meets the top of her dress. 

Anna’s eyes close at the feel of his hands finding her waist, moving back and up to where her ties lie. Slowly, as he kisses and savors her neck, he unties her, running his hand up her back & moving to take off the garment. 

It’s then, Anna realizes, her hands are shaking. From excitement yes, but also the tiny ounce of fear that sits in the back of her mind. 

But as Kristoff moves, so slow and gentle, always so gentle, to remove her dress, she opens her eyes to the realization that there was no fear to be had here. She stands before him in nothing more than her chemise and corset, a site he has seen many times before, and yet the look in his eyes speaks, no, screams of how beautiful he sees her. 

He finds her lips again, running his tongue along her own, shooting a spark up her spine at the feeling. Her hands roam across his chest, feeling every breath and heartbeat. Kristoff’s hands still rest against her back, stroking lightly as they move up and down. 

Once more, his hands work behind her, this time untying her corset. It takes little time before Anna feels the piece begin to loosen, until it’s nearly hanging off of her. 

She feels Kristoff’s hands move to the bottom of the corset and push up gingerly, a question in his movements. Anna answers by raising her arms, leaning back away from him to allow enough room for him to remove it. 

Anna doesn’t wait for Kristoff, leaning back to kiss him once more as soon as the corset falls to the floor. Mostly out of pure lust and want, but also the bit of anxiety that comes with realizing what is to come. 

Kristoff must feel the bit of fear within her, senses it somehow has he wraps his arms tightly around her, engulfing her so all she knows is him and nothing more. 

All her senses are filled with Kristoff, completely overwhelming her and calming her hammering heart. Another reminder that again, there is nothing to fear here. 

He pulls back briefly, bending down and Anna watches him place an arm behind her legs and with a surprise squeak, scoops her into his arms. 

Anna giggles, placing her hands on either side of his face, “You’re adorable.”

“Aren’t I supposed to call you that?”

“Yes, but I can call you that too.” She says, kissing him, “And you are.”

That makes him roll his eyes, bringing another bout of giggles from Anna at the site. He tosses her onto the bed, Anna barking a laugh at the gesture. She leans up on her elbow, watching as Kristoff moves to remove his boots. 

There is a hum in the air, one that gives Anna goosebumps and she isn’t sure if it’s from the site of Kristoff muscles working and moving in front of her. Perhaps, and most likely, it’s the storm forming within Anna, the heat beginning to fill her belly from the notion of what was to come. 

Anna has to hold back a gasp when Kristoff fully stands, hooded eyes looking her over. His gaze is so intense it causes Anna to blush, but she is unable to look away. 

Moments before, he had looked like a young boy, so shocked and surprised at the request she’d made. 

Now, as he climbs onto the bed, coming up and over her, he is completely different. He is every bit the mountain man, sculpted and created by the environment around him. From his shaggy hair, his lightly tanned skin, his tense shoulders, the rough beginnings of a beard forming on his chin; the way he looked at her as his, his and his alone. 

It was nearly primal, the notion of _you’re mine_ within the stormy eyes that peered down at her. He is laying on her now, arms on either side of her head to keep some weight off, but the feel of him against her fully, the comfort she feels from it was different.

They had laid together every night since they’d come to the cabin, have held each other close out by the river and in the flower field, and cuddled many nights by the fire. None of those gave Anna the feeling like she has now. This sense of comfort mixed with complete want is one she is unfamiliar with but one she welcomes all the same. 

Placing both hands on either side of Kristoff’s face, Anna pulls him down to her, bringing his lips to her own and letting the new feeling consume her. 

It takes no time till the want has completely overwhelmed her, Anna’s mind merely screaming at her for more. 

With steady hands, she moves her hand through his hair, down his back and to the top of his pants. 

The moment her hands rest on top of the rough fabric, Kristoff rolls his hips with a groan. Anna can’t help the gasp that escapes her, the feel of his hips rolling into her feeding the fire burning within her. 

But she wants more.

_Needs_ more. 

As Kristoff’s hand runs down, coming to stop at her knee & finding the hem of her chemise, she moves her own hand around to the front and pulls at the ties of his pants. 

They both pause, and Anna opens her eyes to find his staring right back at her. 

She’s sure, so sure, and mentally chastises herself for having her small moment of pause. She should be confident, as confident as she was when she asked him minutes before to make love to her, and yet she can’t help the way her heart is pounding in her chest. 

But then Kristoff smiles at her, the same tender smile she holds so dear, and the breath she didn’t realize she was holding escapes her. 

Kristoff moves first, slowly moving down to her calf, squeezing it tenderly before moving back up though this time underneath her chemise. 

Anna can’t help but close her eyes at the sensation, the feel of his rough, large hands moving up and up. Nearly engulfing her thighs, spanning her waist, and as he moves she is acutely aware of the gown moving up with him. 

She doesn’t dare open her eyes, not yet. His hands feel too good, stirring the embers burning deep within her. 

His hand finds her chest, pausing for hardly a beat, before venturing up to cup her breast. Anna gasps as he squeezes gently, rubbing a thumb idly over her nipple. Her chest rises up slightly on its own accord, begging for more of his touch, of more of him. 

Anna finally opens her eyes as he pushes the fabric over her head, leaving her just in her knickers. 

Kristoff is looking down at her with such affection, with so much love. Her hands come to rest on his shoulders, blushing at the intensity of his gaze. 

“You’re beautiful.”

Anna smiles, unable to bring herself to speak. Instead, she leans up to kiss him. The feel of his bare chest against her own is heavenly. She holds him close, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to feel as much of him as she can. 

She’s aching now, her core screaming for something, anything to ease the tension building within her. So she rolls her hips, trying and failing to keep the whine from escaping. Kristoff gets the hint, moving his hands to her breast.

As he does, Anna works to his pants, untying the strings quickly and she pushes down as far as she can.

Before Anna is able to fully push it past his hips, Kristoff quickly moves off of her, wasting little time as he stands and pushes down on his trousers. 

Anna blinks.

She has seen naked men before in the form of books and paintings, seen images of bare men carved into white marble. The romance novels in the castle library made her blush at the description of the men within the books, creating an image in Anna’s head of the hero within her tales. 

The paintings and descriptions pale to the real thing standing before her now.

Anna does not realize she is staring until she hears a slight cough, looking back up to find a nervous Kristoff looking down at her. 

“Anna…” He manages to say, his jaw working as though he is trying to find the words. There are none needed though, none at all.

Just action.

With that, Anna sits up, eyes still steady on his as her hands find the ties keeping her knickers on. 

His eyes go wide as they follow her movements, gulping as she scoots and pushes the last piece of garment down and off. 

Never in her life has she felt so vulnerable, so absolutely bare in every sense of the word. There was nothing left between them now, just the air and space between them. 

Kristoff is now the one staring, his cheeks turning a bright red and Anna can’t help the giggle that comes at the fact. 

“Never seen a naked woman before?” She teases, easing the tension between them. 

Kristoff looks back up to her, slack jawed with a hint of a smile, “I...I have but…” He blinks, shakes his head, “Anna, you...you are so beautiful and I know I said it before but... _God's_ Anna.”

She blushes, one she is sure goes all the way to her toes. “Come here.”

He moves, his eyes never leaving hers as he crawls back onto the bed. Anna’s legs spread instinctively, accommodating his body to hers and once he is lying on top of her, they both freeze. 

Neither want to move, both soaking in the new sensation of their bare bodies pressed against each other. It’s amazing, so many sparks going off at once, every one going straight to Anna’s core. 

She’s aching, desperately so, and it makes Anna want him to move, to do...something, anything. So she breaks the moment, leaning up to kiss him, her tongue darting into his mouth. He groans, his hands beginning to move again and god’s she wants more, _needs_ more.

“Kristoff.” She gasps, begging, pleading as he begins to kiss down her neck. 

Moving as slowly as his lips, his hand moves down and down till Anna nearly screams when it finds her center. She throws her head back, her chest arching as he slowly moves a finger down and up, barely touching her. As everything else he does it is done with such a tender touch, his rough fingers feeling tremendously better than her own ever did. 

She’s so wet, can feel it with every stroke he makes, then she gasps as he slips his finger slowly, so slowly, into her. It’s more than her own fingers could ever do, stretching her in the most delicious way.

As Kristoff nibbles her ear, he pulls out and eases back in once more, making Anna groan at the feeling. He continues the movements, seeming to listen to her every sound and move and soon enough, he is moving faster now. 

The heat begins to build within her, a rope ready to snap at any moment with every pump of his hand. It’s when his thumb moves to her center, rubbing her sensitive nub that Anna finally bursts with a groan. She sees stars as she cums, eyes squeezed shut, and everything around her seems so far off, a world away. 

She is gasping when she comes down, eyes blinking open to find a very pleased looking Kristoff smirking down at her. 

Anna has half a mind to throw some sort of teasing comment to him, to ask if he’s ever done this before, but then he is moving again. He takes out his fingers, positioning himself till Anna realizes with wide eyes that his erection now rests just at her core. Kristoff stills, reading her every expression, moving a strand of hair from her face and then cupping her cheek. She is sure she looks terrified, something she is most definitely not, but she isn’t surprised by his question when it comes.

“Are you sure?”

Anna nods, licking her lips before she finally speaks, “Yes.”

Kristoff nods, murmuring a soft ok. 

Still cupping her face, still looking down at her, he gently begins to press into her. 

Anna gasps, the feel of his length slowly entering her. It’s a new feeling, one that neither she nor his own hands could ever recreate. He moves carefully, his eyes never leaving hers as he presses into her, stretching her as he moves. 

There is suddenly a pinch of pain and Anna winces at the feel, squeezing her eyes shut. She knew there would be pain, had read about it many times but it still shocks her nonetheless when it comes. Thankfully, the pain disappears as quickly as it came.

“Are you ok?” 

Kristoff, for the first time that night, sounds completely terrified, and when Anna looks at him his face is nothing but absolute worry. 

“Yeah.” She says, placing a hand against his cheek with a smile, “Yeah I’m--I’m ok.”

Nodding, Kristoff begins to remove his length from her as gently as he entered her, only to ease back into her once more with a roll of his hips. 

This time instead of pain, there is a new feeling that comes at his movements, one that Anna has never felt before and makes her gasp. With every gentle thrust she feels it, but it’s not enough, she needs more. 

“Faster.” She whispers, the spark she felt before beginning to grow.

With a groan, Kristoff begins to move faster, pumping into her now. 

Anna cries out, her arms moving to his shoulders to have something to hold onto. She groans as he continues to pump into her, Kristoff now ducking his head to begin to kiss and suck along her neck. She is only somewhat aware of the noises coming from her as he picks up his pace, focusing more on the feel of him, of being surrounded and filled with everything Kristoff. 

The ember that began so dull before begins to burn and grow until it's nearly a full fledged flame, so much stronger than any other she’s ever felt before. As it builds, Anna grips rightly to Kristoff’s shoulders and back, her nails lightly digging into his skin. 

Within her own sounds, she hears Kristoff murmuring into her ear a mix of her name and I love you’s. Only ever meant for her to hear. 

She’s almost there, the dam nearly ready to break when she feels Kristoff tense above her with a groan. He pulls out of her, panting as he does and Anna looks down to see his hot cum spill onto her stomach. There is a bit of disappointment as she realizes she won’t reach her peak, the flame dwindling away unsatisfied.

Then again, Anna thinks to herself, it just means they will have to have another go later. 

She smiles as Kristoff collapses next to her, his arm half haphazardly thrown across her stomach. He rolls his head, looking to her with his own smile and tightens his arm and pulls her to his side. Anna giggles as she snuggles against him, kissing his shoulder as they catch their breath. 

Some of Kristoff’s hair sticks to his forehead, so Anna moves her hand up, brushing his bangs off his face, taking in the sight of him. She wants to take in this moment, as she does every moment she spends with him, and ingrained it to her memory. He eyes her with complete wonder, his eyes hooded before finally closing as he puts her hand at the back of his head. He’s so relaxed, so at peace, and so incredibly happy; just as she is. 

Legs intertwined, arms around each other, the feel of his skin pressed against her own, Anna closes her eyes; never having felt so content, happy and loved ever before in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh not my best chapter, but I can't look at it anymore lol hope you enjoy and so sorry for the delay


	18. inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was only a matter of time...

Anna awakens to the feel of fingers running through her hair and she smiles as she feels Kristoff’s lip press against her forehead. They are still entangled together, Anna’s arm wrapped around as much of Kristoff’s body as she can manage. She lies on top of his chest, his heart beat a steady rhythm that could easily lull her back to sleep. 

If not for their bareness and the dull ache between Anna’s legs, she would have half a mind to think last night was a dream. She hums at the image of it all, of the satisfaction of finally being completely and fully with Kristoff. 

Well, not completely satisfied. 

The thought brings a new ache to Anna’s core, one that she knows Kristoff could satisfy. That only he could only ever satisfy. 

Smirking mischievously, Anna rolls her head till her chin is propped on his chest. Kristoff is looking at her with hooded eyes, a small smile on his lips. It had been a long day for them both, Anna can see the bit of exhaustion in his eyes that she knows is more than likely in her own. There is also, as always when she looks at him, the same look of pure, honest love.

It makes Anna’s center ache even more, instinctively squeezing her thighs together for any bit of friction. 

Lazily, she runs her nails across his chest, causing Kristoff to twitch every so often at the feel. Then she moves her hand down and down, till she finds his length. Kristoff gasps, unable to keep his eyes on her as she lightly drags her fingers up and down his shaft. 

It twitches up towards her fingers, growing hard with her movements, and Kristoff fingers that are tangled in her hair grab the back of her head. When she takes hold of his length fully in her hand, Kristoff throws his head back against the pillow, groaning at the feel. It takes little time before he is hard in her grasp, and when he is, Anna moves to straddle him.

It was her turn to please him, to show him the love and admiration he showed her last night. Though as Kristoff brought his hands to her, one cupping her breast while the other held tightly to her hip as she slowly lowered herself onto his length, she was sure he would satisfy her all the same. 

****

**~.~**

There is a new air of excitement whenever Kristoff returns home. Not to say Anna wasn’t excited before, she always was, but now it’s different.

Now, there is no hesitation, no need to stop before they go too far. 

Now there is nothing keeping them from chasing the spark of desire along the river’s edge, Anna gripping tightly to Kristoff’s shoulder as he takes her against a nearby tree.

Now Anna is able to watch the sky change from it’s bright array colors, watching the stars appear as she sees her own as Kristoff brings her to her peak with his mouth. 

Now Kristoff seems to struggle to get out of bed now, not wanting to depart from her. Though most times, it’s from Anna able to keep him beside her with a rock of her hips, her hand stroking his length or even her tongue. 

Anna thought she could never love someone more than she did but with every passing day, her heart seems to want to burst with every new moment spent with Kristoff. 

****

**~.~**

It’s on a rare day off for Kristoff that it happens.

Anna was busy feeding the chickens in their new pen, one they had put the finishing touches on just yesterday afternoon, spreading the seeds out for them all to enjoy when she hears it. 

For a moment, she thinks she is just hearing things, shrugging as she goes back to feeding the chickens. Though after a moment, she realizes that no, she did hear something.

Hooves.

Anna takes a few steps away from the clucking chickens, trying to focus more on the sound. She realizes that is not in fact just one set of hooves, oh no, it is several sets off in the distance. It’s while she stands, straining to hear that she notices the sound becoming louder, stronger. It hits her then in utter horror that they are getting closer, coming straight for them. 

Moving with haste, she turns and dumps the last bit of seeds into the pen, and heads to the back of the barn. For a second, she thinks of running into the woods, hiding within the trees. She thinks no, she doesn’t want to go too far, can’t risk being seen by anyone and though the forest is thick it wouldn’t be able to hide her near as well. 

Not to mention that she doesn’t want to be too far, can’t risk not knowing what happens while she hides within the woods.

Instead, she turns to the back of the barn door. There were several different places she could hide, in fact, immediately one comes to mind. So carefully, quietly, she opens it just enough to slip in and closes it with barely a sound. 

A grunt from behind as she enters her makes Anna jump, turning around to see Sven looking at her wide eyes. He grunts again, a warning Anna thinks and she nods at him in semi-understanding as they both can hear the hooves rapidly approaching/

She has to hide, now. 

She looks up at her idea, spying the small hay loft just above them. It was just big enough to fit two or three bails of hay, and maybe one small enough person could wedge themselves between the hay and the barn wall. 

Anna moves to the ladder, climbing carefully with soft steps up the and up, reaching the top when the hooves seem to be right outside the barn doors. She thanks her lucky stars that Kristoff had not yet come to tend to Sven, leaving the doors still closed shut, hiding her from view of whomever it was it may be outside.

Though, Anna has a feeling she knows.

She prays, hopes she is wrong as she crawls her way to the far side of the loft, squeezing herself between the wall and hay. It’s a tight fit, one that is stuffy and extremely uncomfortable but safe from view of anyone who comes up to see.

Her heart is hammering in her chest, beating so loudly that it takes her a moment to realize the group has come to a halt. There is a brief moment of silence, only broken from what she thinks is the sound of people dismounting, several in fact along with a few muffled voices too far to hear. Then there is the sound of the cabin door opening and closing, heavy footsteps along the porch.

“Can I help you?” Kristoff asks, and Anna can almost see the annoyed look on his face, hiding the worry she is sure he is feeling deep down. Possibly wondering where she was, if she was safe and hidden.

“Afternoon sir.” A man speaks with a confident, bellowing voice, “We are here under the orders of Prince Hans of the Southern Isles.”

Anna blinks, eyes widening, _What?!_

“Last I checked, we are not in the Southern Isles.” Kristoff says, “This is Arendelle is it not?”

There is a pause and Anna wonders if the man who spoke is taken aback, thrown off by Kristoff’s words and his gruffiness. She wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first this man, whomever he was from the Southern Isles, had yet to face such hostility from the start.

Then again, Anna thinks, showing up as they go to someone’s home would bring hostility from anyone really.

The man coughs, begins to speak once more, “Then surely you are aware that your Princess is missing?”

Anna gulps. 

“Actually, I was not aware of it. Though that explains a whole hell of a lot of things that have happened in Arendelle.”

“Come again?”

“They’ve already searched everything.” Kristoff says, gruffly, “Stopped every villager and trader within the town nearly every day. Searched every shop, home and even boat that was docked. They tore the village apart and never once told us why. Only kept asking if we’d seen the princess and that was it. We assumed maybe she had disappeared, guess we know for sure now.”

There is another pause before the man begins to speak again. 

“Yes, well, either way Prince Hans is betrothed to marry the Princess in weeks time. He arrived weeks ago to begin the process, to meet his bride to be, and was shocked to find that she was missing.” The man clears his throat, “For what seems to be a while in fact. He has requested we search every home, within Arendelle and surrounding, for her highness.”

“Arendelle already performed a search.”

“Yes, well, obviously not a good one if she has not been located. This is why we have been instructed to re-search everything top to bottom.”

“Maybe she isn’t in Arendelle anymore. Has anyone considered that?”

“Yes, in fact, her majesty has already spoken to the several captains and merchants who were here that day. None have seen the princess aboard their ships.”

“Ever thought that they were lying?”

The man huffs a laugh, “I find it hard to believe one would lie to the Queen.”

“Sure you do.” Kristoff says, and Anna smiles at what she is sure was an eye roll. “Listen, you have no authority to search my home. You are not from here.”

“We are soldiers of the Southern Isles.” _Soldiers?!_ “As captain, I have authority to lead such searches even on foreign soil.”

“And as a citizen of Arendelle, I have every right to refuse a foreign group coming into my home.”

“It is merely a search sir. Won’t take long, not afraid we will find something are we?”

“Other than the fact I live alone? No, but you have no business going through my property.” Kristoff pauses, Anna imagining him standing his ground, arms crossed, eyeing over the group of soldiers before him. “I’ll tell you the same as I told the Arendelle guards, I have no idea where the princess is. She isn’t here. I have not heard or seen anyone that would even fit the description of royalty up here. Even if I had,” Kristoff says with a pause, “I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Sir, I’d be careful with your words, I could hold you to treason.”

“Treason?” This makes Kristoff scoff, “You’re on my home soil, you have no power here.”

“I am a Captain of the Southern Isles battalion, a part of Prince Hans’ royal guard, I have more authority than you.”

“And still a soldier. You can’t hold me for treason.”

“Aye, I may be just a soldier, but I am still a _soldier_.” There is a sound of a sword unsheathing and Anna panics, placing her hands over her mouth to keep her from screaming.

They wouldn’t, they couldn’t. 

Could they?

It would be so easy, so simple to kill him without anyone ever knowing. 

“Either let us search your land, or refuse and I can not promise it will go well for you.”

“Threatening me now? That’s rich.”

“Will you let us search?” The man yells, more than likely right in Kristoff’s face, sword drawn. 

No doubt it would take one false move, one wrong word and these men could easily end things here and now. Worse thing, they would not even care to do so. 

As Kristoff said, this wasn’t their people, nor their land. If one Arendelle villager died, so far up in the woods as well, no one would ever suspect the soldiers. It would be easy, so easy for them to hide it all. To put an end to this little spat to do the work they had requested. 

Anna gulps, trying to calm her beating heart and twisting stomach. If the soldiers of the Southern Isles were like this, so harsh and cruel, then Gods could only imagine how this Prince Hans could be.

No doubt he had encouraged them, asked them to do whatever was needed to find her. The fact the soldiers, the captain himself were so quick to act as he had without any hesitation showed he feared no reprimanding for whatever he would do. 

Meaning, Anna realizes, they cared little for the people here, for Arendelle at all. They were here for the prize, and nothing more: her.

There is a deafening silence, one that brings tears to Anna’s eyes. If he refuses, Anna could not imagine having to find his broken body once the soldiers had left, to hear him die below her as she tried to stay silent, to stay still. 

That was if they didn’t find her.

Surely if she was found, there would be no peace after that. Kristoff would be accused of kidnapping and treason to the crown, and who knew what the captain would do then. There would be no reason to keep him alive, no reason to hold back their weapons as they do now. 

Kristoff would be a dead man. 

There was no choice, he was completely backed into a corner, one similar to where Anna hid now: tight and constricting. He had to let him search, risk them finding her, to keep the peace and to get them to leave as soon as he could. He had to trust her, trust she was hidden somewhere she wouldn’t be found. 

Anna knew, having been told so many times, how much he trusted her with everything he had.  
He whispered it to her, told her as though it was a secret, how much he believed in her. He knew she was strong, stronger than anyone else he’d ever known and he loved her for it. 

So it came as no surprise after another moment, she hears the sound of a sword being sheathed then the captain’s voice bellowing “Search everything.”


	19. search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> search everything..

There are murmurs of “Yes sir”, followed by several sets of footsteps setting course to do as requested by the captain. Anna hears the cabin door open once more, and then it hit her. 

Her bag of things lies within Kristoff’s trunk, neatly tucked within it. All it would take is one soldier opening it, eye the out of place travel bag and search through it. It could all end in a matter of moments.

Before Anna is able to truly begin to fear what could come, the barn doors start to open with a creak. She tucks into herself further, clutching the small bag that had just held the chicken’s feed meer moments before. Thankfully, she’d taken it with her, not leaving it to be found and possibly questioned by the search team. 

“Search everything.” A voice calls from the entrance of the barn, “Be thorough.” 

Anna hears Sven grunt at the men, sounding oddly just as annoyed as his owner. It makes Anna smile for a moment, just a moment, till the sounds of footsteps being to echo throughout the barn. 

She holds her breath, listening as things are turned over, moved, shifted and almost thrown about in their search. The chickens become spooked, crying out in fear and it alerts Anna that they have made their way to the back of the barn now. 

There was nowhere to run if she needed to. She was trapped. 

All she can do now, listening as every inch of the area below her is turned over, is pray her spot is good enough. No doubt, she thinks, that Kristoff is hoping just the same. 

Her heart is racing, pounding in her chest as she realizes a soldier is just below her, sifting through not even realizing their prize sits just mere feet above. 

For a few minutes, and what feels like hours to Anna, the soldiers dig through everything within the barn. Sven grunts and groans in annoyance, braying at the trespassers that have invaded his peaceful setting. Anna can only imagine that Kristoff is much the same, arms still crossed and glaring as these men inspect his home, tear everything apart. 

All because of her. 

The guilt she’s felt once before, but what seems so long ago, begins to build again. 

If not for her, if not for her choices, this wouldn’t be happening. Everything would be at peace; no villagers scared by foreign soldiers demanding a search of their home, threatening their lives if they do not obey, terrifying all of Arendelle. 

Instead, it would be a time of celebration. A wedding being planned, set for all of Arendelle to attend, excitement filling the air at the idea of such a lavish party for the village to attend. Well, only few would most likely attend but the village would hum in excitement of the idea of such a big event. It has been years since anything as big as a wedding, or even a celebration of any sorts by the royal family, has been held. The last Anna can think of is Elsa’s coronation, which in and of itself, was a very quiet affair. For the castle at least it had been. 

Outside within the village, word came that the town took advantage of such an occasion to celebrate their new leader. Anna had heard the celebrations as she tried to sleep that night, calls of “God save the Queen” echoing all the way to her window. 

Anna can imagine the news of a royal wedding would bring even more affair, even if it was just the princess. It had been years since the coronation, no doubt the town would take advantage once more to hold a celebration. She can see it now, villagers lined up at the entrance to the castle, along the roads of the village, straining to get a peak of the princess and her new husband. 

There would be a parade, of course, as there was with every royal wedding. Anna would be required to sit with her new husband, this Prince Hans, smiling and waving to the people of Arendelle who celebrate such a glorious day with them.

A celebration would be held, a grand party held for any and all royals who managed to get an invite and could attend. She’d have to dance, with her husband of course and any other dignitaries that so wished. Everyone would be smiling, so happy, so thrilled for her, including her sister. It would last for hours with so much food and drinks, music blaring through the halls. 

Yet, and yet, Anna would be dying with every passing moment. From the moment she would awaken, early she knows for Gerda and her ladies to dress her for her special day, she’d be forcing everything. She’d pretend to love her dress, to love the hair and make up they do for her. They would “oo” and “aw” over her, praising how beautiful she was and how her soon to be husband would much definitely agree. In the mirror, seeing her reflection, she’d only wonder what Kristoff would say, what he would think and not the man awaiting her within the chapel. 

When they’d leave, giving her a moment, she knows she wouldn’t be able to cry. Not wanting to ruin the work they’ve done, she’d stare at her reflection, wishing, wanting, longing for something else. For someone else.

She’d tremble with every step down the aisle, fighting back tears of sadness as she stands and recites her vows, wishing the man before her was Kristoff, her love, her only love, and not this so called Prince Hans. She’d imagine, as they finalized their vows, that it was Kristoff’s lips she kissed. 

She’d force a smile during their parade through town. Waving and pretending that yes, this was a glorious day for a wedding, a call for such a grand celebration. Fighting the urge to jump from the carriage to run, to scream her despair and anger at what has now become of her life, of the love she has lost that she will never be able to have.

The reception after would be an absolute nightmare, for Anna at least. Forcing smiles yet again, pretending to be so thrilled, so excited to be marrying this Prince Hans. There would be dancing, forced to dance with her husband whenever he pleased. Anna loved to dance, enjoyed it so much but she’d hate every step she took, every song that arose that she wasn’t able to share with him. She’d pretend to enjoy the chocolates, the cake made for them, drink and be merry as everyone else before her. 

Inside, inside she would be dying, ready to burst into broken sobs at the notion that she’d never be with the one she loved. Who she really loved. 

Arendelle would be safe, however, avoiding pillage and searches by harsh and cruel soldiers. Never having to fear for their lives as they do now. 

With that, Anna thinks, would it be worth it? Knowing that her sacrifice keeps her home safe, her people free from such things. Would she be able to withstand her broken heart, be able to heal knowing that it was worth it for her people?

Would it be worth never seeing Kristoff ever again?

“Oi, has anyone checked the loft?”

Anna is shaken from the image of what could have been a horrid reality at the question. 

“No.”

“Well, up you get. He said everything.”

“...right.”

Anna’s eyes widen as she listens, hearing the distinct sound of someone beginning to climb the ladder to the loft. She curls in on herself more, tucking her head down as far as she can between her legs, trying to become as small as possible. 

There are a few more creaks from the ladder, then a boot steps onto the loft. Anna places her hand over her mouth, trying to keep from making as little noise as possible. There is a thundering in her ear, her heart pounding in her chest, ears straining to listen to the soldier now just feet from her.

There is the sound of hay being moved, the soldier grunting with effort to lift the bales. It lands back on the loft with a thud, the soldier taking a deep breath after it falls.

After a second, she hears a sword being unsheathed and a new sound begins. At first, Anna is unsure what it is, then she realizes with horror that the soldier has given up moving the bales of hay and has now begun to stab them instead. 

_Oh God._

Anna doesn’t move, doesn’t even dare to try to see how thick the bale of hay she hides behind is. It’s thick, she knows this, so large that Kristoff even has difficulty moving them. But it would take just one feeble bale, one potential rotten pile to let a sword easily poke through. 

Minutes pass, the sound of a sword being stabbed into hay coming closer and closer. Then, Anna hears the man move to the final bale, standing just feet away from her hiding spot. Anna closes her eyes, waiting to hear the familiar sound of the sword. 

It begins, the soldier grunting just slightly as he stabs his weapon into the pile of hay. Anna doesn’t dare move, doesn’t even breath as she sits in silent, listening, waiting, hoping. A few times, Anna swears she sees the edge of the sword almost coming through to the back of the bale. Once feeling the hay move beside her, the soldier’s sword just short enough to not reach her, but there is no mistaking the slight poke that comes at her side. 

Anna gasps at the feel, eyes widening at how close the weapon is to reaching her. She prays, hopes her hand was able to hide the sound, muffle it enough to not reach the man’s ears. 

It seems it does not as after a minute, it stops. Anna thinks, fears that the soldier may begin to move the piles again, wanting to search thoroughly as requested.

Then, out of breath and seemingly over it all, she hears the soldier call out below to his comrades: “Clear.”


	20. relief

Anna doesn’t move, doesn’t dare leave her hiding spot once the galloping disappears into the forest. She waits, and waits, wanting to be sure.

The cabin door never reopened, leaving Anna to know that Kristoff was waiting on the porch for her to appear. Most likely, just as her, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. 

A few more minutes pass, the chickens beginning to cluck once more, the birds beginning their songs once more around them, and to Anna it seems as though hours have passed. Finally, finally she begins to move, descending from the loft and down to the ground. 

She doesn’t say a word, running through the now open barn door and not stopping till she slams into Kristoff’s chest, into his awaiting arms. She tries not to think of the look on his face, the worry in his eyes, the way he seemed so surprised to see her running to him. But behind it all, there was a moment of absolute relief, his shoulders sagging, his arms reaching for her, his hands entangling into her hair. 

Anna listens, ingraining the sound of his heart beat to memory, the feel of his hands within her hair, his arms tight around her, the way he whispers her name into her ear. 

Her lips find his, desperate and wanting. Wanting him, wanting to be reassured that he was here, he was alive and ok. She can feel that he wants the same in the way he pulls her so close, clinging to her in a way, hands wondering wherever they can. 

They chase this want, this need with eagerness. Clothes are discarded quickly, thrown about within the cabin. Kristoff lifts her into his arms, making her giggle and making them pause for a moment. At this new height, looking down at him, she smiles. Anna moves her hands from his shoulders to his hair, raking them through his golden locks. Kristoff smiles at her, humming at the movement, closing his eyes as though to remember how this feels. 

They don’t make it to the bed this time, Kristoff taking her against the cabin door. It’s desperate, needy sex, both clinging to each other as much as they can, the only coherent thought being just want. Anna thinks, for a brief second, that the door could break beneath them. Kristoff takes her with such eagerness, such desperation, pounding into her and Anna can only see stars. 

This was different, nearly primal at how desperately he is taking her. As though he was reminding himself that she was his and his alone. 

She wants to speak, wants to tell him how much she loves him, but Anna can barely create a coherent thought. The only thing she is able to think and say is his name. She grips his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, holding on tightly as she feels herself growing closer and closer to her peak.

They come together, Anna crying out his name as she cums and Kristoff releasing a muffled groan into her shoulder. He is leaning heavily against her, but not uncomfortably so as they try to catch their breath. Anna turns her head, kissing behind her lover’s ear. She slowly, lightly kisses her way to his lips, kissing him deeply and fully. 

Kristoff pulls back suddenly, moving a hand to cup Anna’s face which she leans into.

“Are you ok?”

Anna huffs a laugh at the question, nodding as she smiles. 

“Ok…” He says, kissing her again, “I was so scared…”

“I was too.” She whispers against his lips, not daring to open her eyes, “I was terrified I...I thought they were going to…”

Kristoff silences her with a kiss, shaking his head, “I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers, making Anna open her eyes to see him looking at her with such sincerity, “I will never leave you.”

They find the bed, spending the rest of the day tangled together. They make love slowly, cherishing the other as much as they can, Kristoff taking his time with her. Anna returns the favor later, enjoying in the way she makes him own, makes him say her name in such desperation. There are moments of desperation, the need to chase the spark intense and strong and needing to be fulfilled.

In between their acts of love making, they talk, speaking low and quietly as though others could hear their voices. 

They speak of many things; of fears, of stories Anna read during her time within the castle, of tales Kristoff has heard, of what they want with the future. 

It is no surprise, to either of them, how much they desperately want a future with the other. It’s this conversation that leads to another bout of love making, slow and savoring, cumming together once more. 

Kristoff is up now, ignoring his clothes as he cooks upon the stove a few bits of sausage for them to eat. Anna watches him, lying on her stomach, arms tucked beneath her head. 

She’s smiling, and hasn't stopped doing so. She is so unbelievably happy, her heart ready to burst at the thought of this man loving her so much, wanting to share his future with her in any and every way possible. 

Anna can see it now, has been able to imagine it more and more with each passing day. Can see days spent much like today, lying in bed with Kristoff all day, no cares in the world. Perhaps, as Kristoff had said earlier, extending the cabin, making a more private bedroom for them both to share. Potentially with an even larger bed. More afternoons watching the sun set, enjoying the cool water from the river, maybe tending to more animals in the future. 

Perhaps some day she could venture with Kristoff back to the village, seeing the town of Arendelle once everything dies down. 

This thought, however, makes Anna’s mile falter. 

If it ever died down. 

Today showed that this Prince Hans wanted her, desired the deal that was promised no matter the method to achieve it. Even sinking so low as threatening Arendelle’s own people, threatening their lives to get answers they did not hold. 

The familiar guilt begins to build once more, starting to sit heavy in Anna’s chest. 

It was only a matter of time, Anna fears, that someone would get hurt. Whether it was an innocent villager or worse yet, her own sister. As much as she despised her sister, angry at the choices and games she played, she could never wish ill will towards her. She doubts that something would come of her, that her status as queen kept her safe.

Still, an angry prince who was all but ready to kill anyone who stood in his way for his prize could do many things; even to a queen. 

Anna watches Kristoff, who is smiling as he cooks. 

Never, ever would she regret making the choice to come with him, to leave the castle behind and be with Kristoff. She loves him, with all her love she loves him. He has shown her in so many ways, in small and big things, how he loves her in the same way. Anna truly doesn’t think she could ever be happier than she is now.

Yet, and yet, the guilt still grips her heart, sits heavy within her. 

Anna knows, understands that things have to be done, _must_ be done to truly get the happy ending one so desperately wants and dreams of. 

As Kristoff turns, plates in hand and smiling so wide, Anna returns his smile. In the back of her mind, though, she knows that what was the come would break them both.


	21. decisions

There are many things that are inevitable: the sun rising in the east, setting in the west, the moon rising among the stars in the night sky, the leaves changing colors as the seasons change, the afternoon rain on a hot summer's day. 

Among those there are also other things, such as change. Change, in any aspect, is inevitable. Changing oneself for the better, or worse, change of views on how someone sees an issue or topic, a change of heart. Most notably the most inevitable thing is death, and the looming fact that one only has so much time till one meets it.   
At this moment, the most inevitable thing in Anna’s life is the conversation and decision that must come and be made. She knows, feels it in the coming days, that the discussion will no longer be avoided as much as she has tried. 

Kristoff can sense it, as though it came in with the cool fall chill that has made its way up the mountain. Anna can see it in his eyes, the tiniest bit of worry she hasn’t seen since her first week staying with him. He holds her closer too, not wanting to let go as though she may slip away and again, Anna is reminded of that first week spent with him. Of how worried and unsure he was if she was real, if she was actually deciding to be with him forever. 

Anna had convinced him, swore that she did want to be with him and that had not changed. She wants to be with him, forever or however long the gods would give them. The idea of leaving, of returning to the old life she knew is one Anna does not even give weight to. She refuses to think such things, to ever see herself leaving Kristoff and the life they have built now. 

Guilt is cruel however, having tightly taken hold around Anna’s heart. 

It weighs heavy now, growing ever more with the passing days after the search of the Southern Isles soldiers and Anna tries so desperately to ignore it and push it away. She pretends it is not keeping her awake at night, the reason why Kristoff finds her staring off into the distance with a sad look in her eyes, why he had found her in near tears when he returned one afternoon. 

Anna knows her efforts were in vain, Kristoff not being a stupid man and sensing that something was wrong. She hates that she makes him feel like this, worried once more like he was so long ago. More than anything she wishes she could reassure him, tell him how she feels but she knows how the conversation will end. Fears that the world she has created, one she has so deeply loved these last few months will crumble around her. 

It’s after one fitful night of sleep, one agonizing dream that Anna decides she can’t hold it in much more. The details were blurry, from a mix of exhaustion and purely out of not wanting to ever remember such horrid things but the images were there. As she stares at the cabin wall, willing herself to calm down, to try to steady her shaking hand so as to not wake Kristoff, they keep appearing in her mind. 

Bodies, bodies lying everywhere in the streets of Arendelle. Southern Isle soldiers pillaging the town she loved, doing horrid things to her people. A few buildings were on fire. There was screaming, panicked villagers running to escape. Anna, within the dream, had been in shock. She had wanted to run, wanted to flee but something pulled her forward, towards the castle and within its walls. 

Anna squeezes her eyes shut, trying desperately to forget the recognizable bodies that lied motionless within the castle. 

Of Gerda.

Of Elsa.

Of Kristoff.

Then came the voice, one booming and loud echoing around her. 

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” It called, screaming at her from all around, “ALL THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU!” 

A cruel trick, a move done by the heavy guilt that sits inside her. A horrid reminder of what potentially could happen to her home.

Anna doesn’t realize she’s begun to cry till she feels the tear fall down her cheek. She feels Kristoff’s arm tighten around her, taking a deep breath behind her before his soft snores start once more. 

Even in sleep, he knew she needed him. 

Anna rests her still shaking hand against his arm, letting the tears fall as she realizes with an ache in her chest what she will have to do. 

****

~.~

As soon as Anna awakes the next morning, she decides then and there she would make the most of this day. She will push the conversation to that night, wanting to have one last good day with Kristoff. Not wanting to dwell, not wanting to remember their last day as a somber event, she will make it a happy one.

So, she rolls over, smiling as she sees him already up and preparing breakfast for them both. She wills the scene to memory, ingraining as much detail as she can: the way his back muscles move, how he hums as he cooks, the way his hair moves as he turns his head, the way he smiles at her as he sees her awake and watching. 

She ignores the hint of worry within his eyes, tries to keep that from becoming apart of the memory. 

He places the plates on the table this time, coming over to kneel in front of her, “Morning.” He whispers softly, moving a bit of hair from her face.

“Morning”, she says and she tries desperately to swallow the small lump forming in her throat at just how tender and soft he is with her. 

Always with her. 

“Sleep ok?”

So tentative, a blessing and a curse. Anna shrugs, not trusting her words. 

Kristoff sighs, leaning his head onto his arms that rests on the bed. “Do you want to stay in bed a bit longer?”

“Mmmm...only if you join me.”

He chuckles at that, leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose, “I think I can manage that.”

Anna smiles at him, eyes already droopy till the sound of her stomach growling with hunger makes them grow wide. “Um, maybe after breakfast?”

Kristoff laughs, standing to fetch their plates. 

****

~.~

It’s well near noon now, Anna lying now on top of Kristoff's chest. Her fingers are busy lightly grazing his skin, drawing random pictures or writing their names. Anna watches her fingers tentatively, not wanting to look at him cause she knows she’ll break.

Knows that the moment she looks into his eyes, she won’t be able to hold it in any longer. 

Their morning had been spent in bed, breakfast being a silent affair. Once the plates were away, Kristoff had come back to join her under the sheets, snuggling close together with Anna tucked to his chest. 

They had lied there for a moment, Anna content to just listen to the sound of Kristoff’s breathing, the birds chirping far off in the distance. She was nearly lulled to sleep, nearly. 

There was a desire, a burning need to have him that started off as a slow itch that soon completely consumed her. The reminder of this potentially being their last day making the desire grow and grow. 

She needed him. _Now._

She’d chased the pull, kissing Kristoff as she pushed him onto his back, straddling him as he did so. He didn’t deny her, couldn’t as he had told her before, and he’d held onto her hips as she lowered herself onto him with a low groan. 

Anna had gone slow at first, rolling her hips slow and deep, taking her time with him. He looked at her in amazement, as he always did, with hooded eyes. His hands had moved down from her hips, finding her cheeks and squeezing them affectionately. 

She’d been determined to ride this out, to drag it on for as long as she could. To enjoy what could be the last time but oh, his moans and whispers of her name egged her on. 

“Kristoff.” A question, a suggestion. 

He’d answered. He took control then, finding her hips once more and helping to quicken her movements. His hips moved with her, Anna finding her release with a cry of his name. He’d followed soon after, running his hands up her back and pulling her to his chest where she lies now. 

They hadn’t moved since. Both dozing in and out of consciousness, enjoying the stillness and peace. 

Though within Anna’s mind, it was nothing but turmoil. 

She needed to speak, needed to say what was on her mind. Tell him what she had to do.

Her heart wouldn’t let her. The idea itself was already causing her heart to break, to ache in pain. No doubt that more was to come, with not just her own heart breaking in the aftermath. 

Kristoff is stroking her hair, fingers lightly scraping her scalp as they move. She can hear his heartbeat now, steady and slow beneath her. A sound that she’s come to cherish, a heart that beats for her and only her. One that would soon break with just a few words. 

She hates this, hates that she has to do this. That she wants to do this at all. 

He’d once said he’d loved her for all she was, big heart and all. Now she is sure he’d hate her for it as much as she does. 

Anna takes a shaky breath, fighting the tears and the lump forming in her throat. 

Kristoff’s hand stills, resting at the top of her head. Beneath her, Anna hears his heart beat pick up. 

He’s worried, scared and she is too. More than he will ever understand. 

She isn’t sure when her own hand had stopped drawing along his chest, but she instead moves her arm to wrap tightly around him, burying her face into him. 

Still, his heart beat does not slow. 

Anna tries to calm her own rapidly beating heart, to stop the tears that were building but she can’t. The words haven’t been said, the decision not even spoken and her heart was already breaking. She wonders if his is too. 

“Anna.”

He always says her name so softly, so tender and full of love. This time, this time though there is pain hidden within. 

Taking another breath, Anna turns her head to look up at him. The air rushes out of her when he sees his face. 

All she sees is pain. Pain and worry written on his face to go with the tears forming in Kristoff’s eyes. It’s then she realizes with a sob that he knows, has most likely known for a while now. She wants to hate how tentative he is, hate the fact that he figured it out without her telling, without saying a word until she was ready to. 

She can’t. No matter what she could never, ever hate him.

It kills her, pains her to think he held it in for as long as she had, suffering along with her with the notion of what was to come. The inevitable that was coming for them both.

That he knows what she has to do, knows what has to be done. Knew it was coming as much as Anna had.

Anna sobs again, burying her face into his chest as Kristoff wraps his arms around her tightly, bringing her up so he could bury his face into her hair. 

Anna doesn’t try to speak, can’t make herself utter the words that neither of them want to hear. 

But it’s not needed, no words spoken as they both hold each other as they cry, accepting what must be done. Accepting the inevitable.

To protect her people, to save them from potential danger, she’d sacrifice the happiness she’d found. Risk the idea of never being able to see the love of her life ever again, just to save a kingdom she was sworn to protect. Give it all up for them even if it left her broken and shattered in the end.

She’d return to Arendelle and set things right.


End file.
